Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
It's a good thing Margo put that wiretap on Lu Ann's phone, because she needs someone to talk some sense into her. Though I think it's less out of concern for Lu Ann and more out of a desire to completely avoid her own relationship problems.
Still, the real problem here is that Lu Ann has been "dating" this governor character for what seems like maybe 3 weeks, tops, on the A3G timeline (it's like the opposite of dog years), and he's getting ready to propose. "Rapidly" pretty much describes this whole situation (except, you know, when measured in real time, in which case the proper description would be "at a snail's pace.")
As an aside, thanks to Maggie and Megan for covering for me while I was on vacation! It was much appreciated by me and my international roaming data plan.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
"Tori, this place is awesome! You've got it all! Two squiggle prints, a floating lamp shade and heavy draperies! Did you hire a decorator or did you do it yourself?"
Oh Marty, you should have known that Tori was way too cool for you. I mean you wear glasses. Hasn't popular culture taught you that young girls with glasses are hopeless nerds yet? Now why don't you run home and play with your chemistry kit and leave the rebellion to the cool kids.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Actually, Marty looks just like Bedilia...
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Tori may be a smoker, but she smiles a lot and she's into sharing even though cigarettes are mad expensive. Sure, she'll become predictably and unapologetically belligerent tomorrow after Marty spurns her smoky advances, but it's still way better than watching Lu Ann putz around the gallery and "curate."
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
pretty vicious tude herself!
Just be careful, Marty: Tori's are always trouble.
Just be careful, Marty: Tori's are always trouble.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
"Tori thinks it's much more exciting to hang out on the street corner outside the gallery meeting up with strangers and hurling quarters at vagrants. But I'd much rather be in here painting squiggles with you. You're sooo cool. I wish my hair was like yours. I love your belt! Oh my gosh, how have I never noticed your waist before? You're so skinny! What are you doing? Pilates? Juicing? Coffee Enema? We brush each other's hair and tell each other secrets."
Monday, August 19, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Nothing like calling your sweetheart late at night from a circa 1920s telephone that radiates with ringing when a call is placed. He also seems to have purchased Just For Men in "Touch of Cookie Monster" shade.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Casey is on vacation, lucky her, so I get to comment on this...affair?...that doesn't seem like the right word. How about awkward chasteness?
Poor Governor Trog...He's got a thing for ladies in matronly, pink blouses. They will only break your heart...
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
What harm has that ever done. To us. ...mm, this tar bile, what's the vintage on—AHHHHH OH NO HOW DID OUR LIP RINGS GET STUCK TOGETHER??? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD A LIP RING
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
"Peter, I'm a modern woman. I wear Peter Pan blouses and have stylish flapper curls. I entertain gentlemen unchaperoned in my home at night. I'm living the dream of every single matron in the city. Now, would you like another glass of Texas tea?"
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
past failed engagements. (Lu Ann is not the quick-to-marry type, Gov!)
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
"Do I have to remind you of the dinner depth chart?
1) Tommie. She's our A game. I mean we didn't even really have to have a plan B. Even when she was working doubles at the hospital, she would come home during her break and fix my, I mean our, dinner. Have you seen her around lately? It's unusual for her to spend this much time away from the apartment...
2) You. Not because you can cook, because you can't, but because you're usually here and with moderate supervision you can boil water.
3) We order sacks of takeout from "Totin'," New York's only "all you can haul" eatery!
4) We eat the pink flowering plant and sip shower puddle water until we die or Tommie comes back."
Monday, August 5, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
That was the short version of this story?!?! I think a brain tumor is going to be pretty hard to hide, especially if you're undergoing treatment.
Marty: "Daddy, why is all your hair gone?"
Cole: "It's no big deal Marty, I am just auditioning for the role of Telly Savalas in a Lifetime movie..."
Marty: "But you're not an actor..."
Cole: "What's that? Great conversation honey, I have to go for more radia...I mean to Radiation studios...it's where they're filming my movie. Why don't you go visit Lu Ann at the gallery?"
Saturday, August 3rd
"Here Cole, let me pinch your shoulder. The mild pain you feel will distract you from your brain tumor/PTSD/chronic pain/alcoholism/keeping a life or death secret from your only child. There...doesn't that feel better?"
Friday, August 2, 2013
Can't you see I don't want to talk about my chronic pain, depression, and substance abuse? I have bigger problems... like half of my face trying to crawl over to the other side.
Do they still use Agent Orange? Because I think that might explain what's happening here. Except that Lu Ann's face seems to be having the same reaction, so who knows. Maybe the cottage pictures are really Magic Eyes and they're just struggling to focus.