Monday, June 30, 2014
In other news, did Tina Grant just stumble through the backyard like Bigfoot? And no one stopped her? Tommie stone cold doesn't care. "Not my problem if some random lady stomps all over our yard and lets all the animals out and pees in the fridge and changes everything about the background scenery in the process. It's time to work my head off."
Friday, June 27, 2014
I give up! There's obviously no way to make this strip interesting within the strict regulations of newspaper comics, which state that all comics must feature two characters in the foreground from the armpit up looking at each other and talking. Those are the rules, right?
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Sigh... OK Tommie, let me break this down for you.
Horse (noun) - a large, solid-hoofed, herbivorous quadruped, Equus caballus, domesticated since prehistoric times, bred in a number of varieties, and used for carrying or pulling loads, for riding, and for racing.
Ride (verb) - to sit on and manage a horse or other animal in motion; be carried on the back of an animal.
Jack Riley (noun) - a man, physically indistinguishable from any other man in the world, who is kind of a dick, let's be honest.
I'm not sure why Tommie is so confused by the fact that this eccentric guy who took her and her fawn in would run off somewhere on his horse. ("But he's always been so reliable! He's never left in the past 3 days I've been here!") But I figured she might just literally not understand what Carol is saying? That might explain some of it?
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
So I guess what I'm trying to say, readers, is that I understand if you stop checking in with the blog for a few days or weeks at this point. Just come back when Jack actually does see a ghost. Or Lily runs away. Or Margo is ever featured in the strip again.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
First, Carol looks like the American Gothic version of Lu Ann, and then Tommie inhabits Lu Ann's mind, by being incapable of understanding how humans can move without cars.
These last few strips have been worse than the "tell don't show" mode of storytelling that we've grown accustomed to. This is "tell us something we already know, repeatedly because one of other characters is slow on the uptake" is pretty annoying.
Monday, June 23, 2014
I think normally when you choose to, or are asked to, "______ your head off," it's an action that is naturally head-related, like talking or laughing for example. I've never heard of "work[ing] your head off." Let's try to think of a suitable alternative, shall we? Great, go...
- Work your tail off?
- Work your body off?
- Work your hair flat?
- Work your crewneck blue?
- Work your deer into a proper foster home?
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Get the stick out? Is that supposed to be referring to the stick up Tommie's butt that makes her rigid and unfriendly? Or is this some regional colloquialism with which I am not familiar?
I'm not sure why Tommie finds it so hard to get along with Carol...She looks like Lu Ann and is bossing her around like Margo. She should feel right at home!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Thursday June 19, 2014
I don't even know what's going on. Where are they with that marble staircase? An academic building? A plantation, maybe? Either way, take it from a lady who knows: now that he's loose, you will never see that cat ferret squirrel thing again.
Friday June 20, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Maybe it's time to move to the big city, girl. Maybe it's time to move in with your doppelganger, whose address is already programmed into the jalopy's GPS, push her out the window, and assume her life. Maybe...
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
We can add food stores to the ever growing list of things that Frank can't draw (cats, fawns, bags of takeout...), unless he spends a lot of time at grocery stores full of dark alleys. At first I thought this was the town busy body who gave Tommie the 411 on Dr. Jack in the first place. I waded back through the three months of this story to find out, but that was Thelma Cobb, not Gina. Happiness Falls, Population 4 (I'm assuming Carol lives there too). I hope there is a flip-off. Not someone giving the finger, but an impromptu, no-holds barred contest as to who best rocks the feathered flip.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Sunday, June 15, 2014
If only this meant that Jack wasn't coming back and that this interminable storyline was over. But now we're in for at least a month of Tommie being enslaved by Carol while Jack is off having some sort of seance with the ghosts of his past. At least living with Margo has prepared her for exactly this scenario.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Top five signs that your dead best friend's widower is just not that into you:
1) When you show up unannounced, he makes it a good 6-8 hours in your presence before leaving for an unplanned vacation without a return date.
2) A man who works alone on a farm in Happiness Falls (population 2), tells you he needs more alone time.
3) He's willing to callously abandon the newborn calves, damaged mares and feral orphans that he spends his days and nights tending to without a second thought.
4) He gave you an incredibly awkward kiss only after you browbeat him into doing it. And he was probably planning his escape the entire time.
5) He holds his coffee mug like a dainty teacup.
My advice? Pick up the pieces and then do some internet research on finding a good chemical peel/laser resurfacing/botox party.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Um, it's not that weird for a baby deer to be friends with a horse. I mean they both have four legs, hooves, eat lots of vegetation...A baby deer and a great white shark being friends, that would be remarkable. Maybe this means Old Lu Ann and Tommie will be fast friends...
Friday, June 6, 2014
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Carol can tell you from experience how easy it is to come back to the land of the living after dying. Eek.
Also, like, I'm sure Tommie's fiance of about a week was awesome and all, but the one person who gave her life meaning and joy? Don't let Margo hear you say that. She gives Tommie's life plenty of meaning. The "joy" thing... that might not be an issue.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Tommie probably picked Lily up off the side of the road. A teenage runaway. You know the story: alcoholic dad, fretful mother. She hates the uncertainty and tension of their den, so she starts staying out late, smoking cigarettes, wearing orange hunting vests just to be provocative. Then one night, at a stag party, she has a drink. And another. And another! She gets home after a late night of partying and sees herself in the mirror and damned if she doesn't see her father staring back, that son of a buck! That's when she runs away. And I guess that's when Tommie found her!
Anyway, that's my theory. I've got it pretty well worked out, so I'm not sure it could be anything else.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
This is the farm, Carol! We don't talk about our horrible losses, we deaden their pain with manual labor. Then we feel nothing, nothing but the heavy sludge of manure beneath our feet.
On a side note, and maybe I'm alone on this, but I feel like going after your dead friend's husband is an uncomfortable gray area. I would pretty much need a vision of said dead friend saying "No, really, this is totally what I want!" before I would even consider it. I guess Lu Ann + Eye Bags doesn't have the same qualms or a good retinol cream.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Ah, remember the halcyon days when Jack was described as "the original cranky guy with a heart of gold" which I thought mean he would be old and grizzled and maybe a prospector? And then we got this guy. And Lily... died... I guess? Man.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
I'm back! Many thanks to Maggie and Casey for covering this scintillating story line while I was traveling for work. So Lily is still MIA, Tommie is damaged and this old Lu Ann is trying to smooch on Dr. Jack?
Jack and Carol are attempting the high degree of difficulty, rarely attempted, fully vertical kiss. It requires deep concentration and extremely small noses.