Labored Breathing

"Ari!  You're so...white!  Are you sure you're feeling OK?"  I must say, this whole episode isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for New York's finest.  Am I really supposed to believe that a wheezy Colonel Sanders and fake James Bond saved the whole building before the firemen showed up?  I hope Greg's arms aren't too tired from carrying Margo, it looks like he's got another damsel in distress to save.

Don't Be a Hero!

After one millisecond of tension that Greg might be taking on too much just to "be a hero," it turns out... the Professor just did all the work for him. What?? Are there only three floors? How did he empty the entire building? Wasn't everyone asleep? I guess everybody else is a much lighter sleeper than Margo. Hey wait, I'm not seeing any hilarious sound effects for the fire detectors. Or any sprinkler system, for that matter! Hey, who owns this building anyway?

Barely Breathing

Oh Margo I love you, oh Margo I'm crazy about you, Margo baby please be alive--HEY THERE'S THE EMT! (plop) Welp, she's in your hands now. I just remembered I'm starving, so I'm going out to get noodles. Let me know how things work out, byyyyyye!

As Flames Climb Higher

OH MY GOD SO MANY LEGS SO MANY LEGS

Seriously, A3G is showing an unprecedented amount of leg today. I'm thoroughly scandalized. I feel straight-up Victorian.

Still, I think all the legs might be an attempt to distract us from HEY I DON'T SEE ANY HIGH-CLIMBING FLAMES AT ALL! Just some weird horizontal floaty things that might resemble smoke if the colorists had used gray. Unfortunately, gray is exclusively specified for men's pants, shoes, and socks. And while I'm loving Margo's Hulk-inspired pajamas, didn't she fall asleep in her clothes? Wasn't Greg the one wearing pajamas? And what is that tiny little coffin doing in Margo's room?

It's almost Christmas, guys! Merrrrry Christmas!

Margo's Bedroom is Red Hot!

First things first, let's all wish our friend and co-blogger Casey a very happy birthday!  

I'm guessing that Greg hasn't had to complete any corporate mandated fire safety training lately.  If he had, he would have known to check the door with the back of his palm, as metal handles can become hot.  Hot enough to liquefy your bones and gnarl your fingers.  Also, why wouldn't you, oh i don't know, put that ax to good use and spend approximately three strips knocking this door in?

Cough Cough

Well this is just getting RIDIC. The apartment looks like a straight up fun house. I mean, there's blue smoke (of course it's blue), but there's also those yellow and white stripey things, which I assume is the smell of hotdog mustard and cotton candy wafting through the place?

And I bet Ari is still in the hallway dithering about the 911 thing. "I know you're worried, Greg, but doesn't calling the police seem a little hasty? We don't want to be brash. Let me just smell that smoke pouring out of the hole in their door. ...why, it smells of kettle corn! False alarm! Margo just started making popcorn and fell asleep again."

Swing, Swing

Really uncredited colorist?!?  You have orange at your disposal and you use it for Margo's walls when there are clearly flames?  How can I take this "fire" seriously when it looks like cotton candy?

I agree with Maggie that this probably isn't a fire, there's way too much build up.  We all know that anything that gets built up in the A3G verse only leads to bitter disappointment.  I only hope that Fire Marshall Greg uses this opportunity to improve his ax swinging technique.  And that if it is a fire that anyone bothers to check if Tommie has succumbed to smoke inhalation.

Where There's Smoke

"There's a FIRE on this floor, Ari! Call 911 while I take the FIRE ax!" "A FIRE? Are you sure? And do "My goodness, Greg, do you really think you need a FIRE ax?" "Where there's smoke, there's FIRE, Ari. Would you just call 911 already? I've got to take care of this FIRE!" At 3-G... "Oh my God, 3-G is on FIRE!"

I don't know, guys. This fire is getting super duper established, to the point where I'm getting suspicious. All we've seen is a some pink smoke and a little muppet hand sticking out of the door. I think we're being set up here for some kind of elaborate non-fire prank. Fireworks? Vinegar and baking soda volcano? Something disappointing.

Fire Ax!

Soooo... we're just going to forget about that whole calling 911 thing, I guess? That was pretty easily dismissed. No sprinklers, no 911. Ax time! Sweet!

Did the fire also burn off some of Ari's facial hair? Just wondering...

!!BAM!!

You know, for getting dressed hastily and stepping into the hallway, it sure looks like Greg's hanging out in his bedroom in his pajamas. But who care, MORE GREAT SOUND EFFECTS! My guess is that the sound effects are SO LOUD that they're blinding--you're natural instinct is to squeeze your eyes closed, and when you do, the back of your eyelids look like Pop Pop Pop !!BAM!!

Speaking of BAM!, who's excited for the next season of RuPaul's Drag Race? Starts Monday!

Dirty POP

Christmas has come to A3G! Maybe it's four weeks late, but it came with a gigantic POP, and it reeks of pink smoke, which has wafted its way into my heart. Wow. Here, the readers are invited to let our imaginations run wild as we use "POP" to fill in the gaps between Evan's perfectly geometrical green present and the monstrosity in the third panel. What could it be??

• Is the "POP" meant to convey "BOOM" and there was a tiny little explosion, lighting the box on fire?
• Maybe "POP" is the sound of the acid eating away at the final containing element, leaving it to eat through the closet, create a terrible smell, and turn the wrapping paper orange.
• OR maybe "POP" is the lid bursting off the tupperware container full of smelly old potato salad--best prank ever, Evan!

Anyway, we've got a panel of the year contender, for sure.