Sunday Recap

Friday, February 27th

Sorry for the belated blogging lately.  Maggie is on a well deserved vacation, but that coincided with the release of the third season of House of Cards.  The exploits of Frank Underwood were just a tad more interesting than Margo having a crisis of confidence in the the middle of the street.

I find it hard to believe that the event in Margo's life that throws her into an existensial crisis is not her fiancee dying in a Nepalese avalanche or her former assistant trying to glitter bomb her apartment building.  It's her mom kind of being a bridezilla.

Saturday, February 28th

You mean the not being hungry is weird?  I would think that it is pretty normal that Margo mistreats her slaves roommates and demands that they leave her alone. 

Hey, You Guys!!

Guys, you gotta come check this out! It turns out if you wear a Hanes turtleneck for eight straight weeks, it actually starts putrefying on your body! Look at the color change already, it's incredible! And just try ripping off a piece, it will dissolve right in your hands!

Really Good Old Friends!

Aw, yeah!! And so the love triangle begins. (Not counting, of course, Lily and Mary the Mare as serious contenders for Jack's grizzled heart.) Yellow lady's dialogue is pathetically confrontational, but Tommie has already chosen a strategy for psyching out her opponent: pretending she's blind? I guess? Why does she look like that in the second panel??

I'm posting late, but any guesses on names for this lass? I'm thinking Sally.

The Mare is Jumpy

Don't horses usually have awesome names, like "Duchess" or "Sparkle" or "No-FaceMarie"? Oh well. This whole strip is great is many many absurd ways, but let's take a special moment to recognize how wonderful the middle panel of Tommie super theatrically getting thrown by "the mare" is:

Out, out, brief candle! Also, ouch!!

Joking aside, I think this is the first time in A3G history that I've looked at one of their outfits and thought: I want that! White pants are so cool. I had a pair in eighth grade and I stained them instantly. Can't say I would be brave enough to wear white at a large animal vet/dude ranch.

This Jack Riley Fellow

Does "I've already done it, Lu Ann" mean "I've already called Jack Riley a million times, what else can I do, why won't you just let it go!!" or does it mean "Yes, I've pushed Lily off the balcony with a tiny little stick-and-handkerchief get-up and a $20 bill she's already eaten; it's up to her to make her own life in the big city now."

Ready to Go to Work

Whuh oh! Looks like someone went over their Paid Time Off allotment by 843 hours. Also there's a rumor that someone killed off another imaginary boyfriend during their 843 hours of PTO.

Leg of Lamb

Oh hell no. Tell me you're not bringing home the butchered appendage of Lily's cloven-hoofed cousin? Have you no decency? Have you no shame? Have you no shirts other then pastel crewnecks?

In Spite

Holy cow, who knew things could move so fast in Apartment 3-G? The priest doesn't even have time to catch up with what's going on! "Uh guys, I usually like to kick things off with a prayer... guys. It can be a short prayer! I uh... -sigh- no that's fine, I'll just... grab a pew and... sit this one out. You two just... marry yourselves, I guess. By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce myself OVER IT. You may do whatever."

And who knew Marty's mom had such tude? She's exhibiting Marty-like levels of tude right here. You go, pink doily wedding dress lady.

CORRECTION: That's Tommie's mom, of course, not Marty's. Thanks, Stickler; I write faster than I think.

No More Regrets!

Maybe I should have dubbed 2014 the "Year of the Extra Tall Turtleneck."    You really want that baby touching the hairline at nape of your neck and knocking on the door of your chin.  Turns out those revealing tops were their pajamas.  They save the skin for the boudoir.

How is Tommie, who hasn't shown up at work in six months, and who immediately upon her return left AGAIN for a long weekend in Pittsburgh the head of the nursing team?  Is it a ceremonial title?

Tommie Unwinds

Now this is funny, I've read this about Tommies before, how their hair fluffs up when they're happy and contracts in times of sadness or fear. Notice how this Tommie's hair has a mushroom-like fullness to it in the first panel. Also, notice how both women are dressed like amateur sleuths.

Driving Miss Tommie

I'm declaring 2014 "The Year of the Exposed Collarbone" on A3G.  It's happening!

Now, commence with a week of Tommie and her mom in the plaid interior of a luxury vehicle.

Doctor Bentley

Your dad and I talked a lot, and as it turns out, he doesn't even like his tumor. I don't even know why he got it in the first place! Ha ha. So anyway, funny thing... my name is Doctor, but I'm actually a used car salesman.

A Picture

Well loyal readers, I'm conflicted.  As much as we all mocked the peter pan collared, belted, blush prairie dress, I'm kind of sad that isn't what Lu Ann wore.  If Lu Ann is going to start dressing in age  and decade appropriate attire, I don't know if I'm ready to live in that world.

Handsomest Governor

WELP I hope you know better by now that to have anything interesting directly revealed to you. Instead of whatever compromising position Cole's in, enjoy a scene of the Governor with his mother!

Wait a second, Gov Trog and Lu Ann didn't even come to the ball together? He had to have his MOM drive him? And now she's insisting to hang out with him and meet his friends?? MO-OM, you are so EMBARRASSING!

Actually what's really embarrassing is that in these two panels, Mother of Trog already looks more stylish than fashion icon Zoey Ziggler AND Governor of New York Peter Russo. Seriously, I think this is the first time I've seen a woman in this strip with an appropriate hair style.

Zingers

There's so much to make fun of...satire brain cells overheating!

1) "I liked all the blue paint colors on that swatch, so I painted one wall each color. It's fashion..."
2) "Hold still...I'm just randomly pointing this camera in your general direction. It has a viewfinder, but the shot will be more high fashion if I don't look through it."
3) "MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!! The light...it burns...IT BURNS!!!"
4) Zoey's got a real delicate way with her clients.
5) I'll bet Zoey bought that gown from a Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman costume department trunk sale. It's prairie chic!
6)  "Hey, there's my girl! What a coincidence that I would find you at exactly the place and time of the appointment I made for you/have been receiving a live stream of pictures from! 

Pretty Girls

A heterosexual male with a thing for pretty girls? What a monster! The fact that Zoey's taking pictures of everything for Gov Trog is less "mean" and more "gross," but then again, I have no idea what clothes Lu Ann's wearing or what poses she's striking. (This is only a comic strip, after all.) There's no indication from Lu Ann that anything lewd or indecent is going on... I mean, she's wearing a granny nightgown. She's probably posing with her hands folded in her lap and the old fashioned candle somewhere in the background.

Actually, this is getting weird.

The Zoey Ziggler Chronicles

Thursday July 4, 2013

Honestly, I hate shopping, but if someone were to pull a rack of fancy ball gowns that they already thought would be good for me to try on, that'd be pretty sweet. Basically what I'm saying is, buck up, Lu Ann!

Friday July 5, 2013

We seriously don't get to see any gowns? This is silly. And Zoey, you're a failure as a stylist for letting Lu Ann slip back into that pink polo shirt even for one second. Now that she's fully dressed again (presuming she's wearing pants), she's just going to bolt out of Zoey's studio and run screaming into the night.

I guess... I guess this is another Lu Ann personality trait, actually, that she just really doesn't give a flip about dresses. Which is shocking, I thought that would be a Tommie personality trait.

Big-Shot Plays the Field

I think Barking Monkey was right.  That is by far the deepest v-neck ever seen in A3G, and there is no end in sight.  It's making Lu Ann's blouse blush!

Margo's playing the field for fun!  That means a life of strict celibacy inside the apartment for approximately five months until she embarks on her next adventure, where a man who looks suspiciously like Trey Brooks and Greg Cooper will break down her steely resolve. 

Fancy-Schmancy

Nothing says fancy-schmancy like a crew neck Hanes tee.  I don't know what I really expected the A3G "Museum of Modern Art" to look like...do I even have expectations for this strip any more?  If I do, what does that say about me?

I guess having all the artwork neatly framed and accented with decorative ficuses (ficusi?) is probably pretty close.  I guess Queen Bee wasn't available for a performance piece/the sculpture wing is closed?  The Cialis commercial couple in the background is way more interesting than Margo complimenting (what is happening in the world?!?!?) Lu Ann.  They're admiring art!  They're dancing!  They're ready for when the moment is right!

New Dress

You can buy a new long-sleeve mauve dress? ....where?