Knock-Knock!

If Frank just put a little effort into making Diane look like a stereotypical psychic, I would but enjoying this about 100% more. Scarves, veils, big hoop earrings, tarot cards falling out of her purse, a capes with stars and moons all over it, anything! I mean.. is light brown hair meant to be the watchword—watchhair?—for deceit and chicanery?

Margo Breaks Down

Ooh. You know you're in a bad mood when you sour the kelly green curtains.

According to our labeling system, in the almost-six-year (yike) history of this strip, Margo has cried in four panels total prior to today's meltdown, including one bout of tears that instantly turned to suspicion, and one spell of crocodile tears. For comparison, Lu Ann has eight panels of tears. Seven for Tommie. Apparently she only cried once about the whole "fake fiancee dying in a plane crash" thing? But she spent aaaaaaaaages in a tearless animal ranching funk.

Martin's Past

Um, I don't want to alarm anyone, but Martin may be having a stroke in the second panel.  Someone should see if Tommie is working doubles back at the hospital.  Either that or he's got the panic bobbles that overcome any man when Margo declares her love for him.

Loose Ends

"Get out your washboard and stand back.  I'm finally going to take off this turtleneck, which I have worn for months as the armor of my grief.  Also, I'm going to need you to, you know, take care of that orphaned deer that is around here somewhere.  And can you just like, get with Carol so that she doesn't spend another two weeks telling someone about how you're the love of her life?  Then I'll just load up the Packard and be on my way."

Tuesday Recap

Monday, September 8th

"To be honest, I'm not even sure that I am crying.  I'd say it's more of a smirk-grimace.  I've been keeping my emotions as bottled up as this closely buttoned blouse."

Tuesday, September 9th

 

Maybe Lily has finally made a run for the wilderness, where she can live a normal deer life? Or the mare saw Danica McKellar walking near the pasture?   Or maybe she's just as irritated by this storyline as the rest of us and is trying to break free.

Just Let It All Go

This is really non-ironically coming out of nowhere for me. Is Carol talking about her physical state or her psychic state right now? Perhaps this is another poorly staged PTSD storyline. And WHAT. THE HECK. is Tommie doing in the second panel?? The ol' obscene-gesture glass-of-water switcheroo?? She is way out of practice with this nursing thing.

A Proper Kiss

I'm back!  Many thanks to Maggie and Casey for covering this scintillating story line while I was traveling for work.   So Lily is still MIA, Tommie is damaged and this old Lu Ann is trying to smooch on Dr. Jack?

Jack and Carol are attempting the high degree of difficulty, rarely attempted, fully vertical kiss.  It requires deep concentration and extremely small noses.

Not Coming Home

It's always Tommie's night to cook.  As the Alpha Roommate, Margo delegates all chores to the  underlings.  And Lu Ann isn't allowed to use any cooking implement stronger than an Easy Bake Oven.  But Margo is not dropping $75 on a sack of take-out tonight, so you best get yourself home and heat her up a frozen pizza.

What do we think Tommie is looking at in the last panel?  Is Dr. Jack trying to mate Lily with his aggressive colt?  Has Lily, who has grown comfortable with the confined spaces of a Manhattan apartment/Packard/sleazy motel, had an agoraphobic freak out on Dr. Jack?

 

Thrilled

Ugh, just get to the part where Jim already has a wife! Or is dead! Or had a terrible allergic reaction to the deer! Or dresses up like his mother a la Norman Bates and is taking this phone call as we speak!

Bad Fiancee

FINALLY, the deer speaks up! Probably has a stomach full of mattress coils. And Jim is... not surprised at all? Have they had long international phone calls on their land lines about how Tommie is a foster doe? Because my reaction to "bleat... bleat..." would be "wwwwwwwhat....! Was that!! Is there a sheep in this apartment??" accompanied by bulging eyes and muscular tension.

P.S. Why is this guy not speaking entirely in stereotypical British slang? Has he said one British thing yet? I mean, why even make him British if he's not going to say things like "blimey" and "dumbledore" all the time?

Drowsy with Happiness

Haha, why that's true, I am late for my plane! I'm such a rake. By the way, is there a reason your apartment smells like a Cockney petting zoo? I specify Cockney because I'm British, you see! Don't forget.

Engagements

Maggie so kindly did a thorough review of 2013 for us, but my summary of the time between Christmas and New Years will be less thorough and hilarious because I'm not as kind, so here you go:

Zoey Ziggler and Governor Trog got engaged! ZOMG! Lu Ann didn't care at all, because COLE.

Lu Ann told Margo that she felt like she would never see Cole again (so put a bow on that storyline, because even men who get engaged to these women are never seen again), then proceeded to tell him they would keep in touch through phone and email and then they kissed. So, you know, no chance of them ever seeing each other again.

Tommie came back, all of a sudden! And look, now she's engaged! (...engaged in some kind of silly prank, because who would want to marry Tommie? Or engaged in a dangerous scam, because really, who would want to marry Tommie?)

Also, the Professor is back and he looks different! And I thought at first maybe he was Tommie's gentleman friend from Italy, but nope, it's the Professor! Of course, he has white hair, so that's the only clue I should have needed (but I had to go back a day or two just to make sure).

Happy New Year everyone! Here's to another crazy year.

(PS and Happy Birthday to Megan!)

No, Peter.

Peter, how many times do I have to reject you? It's nice that you want to help, but it's not like your title and position would help Cole get the immediate attention he obviously needs. Stay and have a nice time at your little Ball, and don't let this little problem spoil your evening/political future.

Mystery Door

It's time to play "What's Behind That Door?"

Could it be...
Cole lying in bed... lifeless?
Cole lying in bed... with Lu Ann?
Cole lying in bed... with Lu Ann and some guy in clown makeup...?
Cole eating the world's largest ice cream sundae, and he didn't tell Marty about it, that pig?!

I know the whole lifeless (or almost-lifeless) body thing is the most likely, but I'm really rooting for the giant ice cream sundae. What do you guys think Marty sees in Cole's room?

Pretty and Sweet

This whole saga seems to be aging Marty.  She went from awkward tween to attitude-wielding young adult/the same age as Lu Ann.  Marty's rage is segmenting her hair, it's only a matter of time before that front strand rises up in defiance.  I really hope that Tori is outside the gallery, watching her protege in action and laughing maniacally. 

Save It

And so the worry bobble begins! "Save it for someone who cares," is such an efficient way of conveying how much tude you've got. And Marty's got plenty of tude! I don't really get why, since Lu Ann never lied to Marty and there has been zero daddy canoodling so far by my count, but... I like it.

Like, Really Bad

Oh Marty, I know you're vulnerable and everything now,but Tori is probably not the right person to ask how you can help your dad with a brain tumor. She's probably going to tell you that the best thing to do is start listening to Ke$ha and stealing all those pills that aren't working for Cole.

Cole's Kitchen

Uh oh, the voices in Lu Ann's head are starting to laugh? That's usually a bad sign. Also, swiveling your head and banging it against the wall. Maybe it's time for another three week long conversation over coffee.

You Light Up My Life

No, Lu Ann, it looks like the muffled ring/vibration is coming from inside Cole himself!  Either that or the awkward ergonomics of that Krazer are causing him to writhe in pain.  The best part about this strip is how Cole's joy is presented in the Sunday recap.

It's delightful.  A touch of cross eye, a soupçon of boozy smirk and all kinds of bobble.  You're welcome.

The Zoey Ziggler Chronicles

Thursday July 4, 2013

Honestly, I hate shopping, but if someone were to pull a rack of fancy ball gowns that they already thought would be good for me to try on, that'd be pretty sweet. Basically what I'm saying is, buck up, Lu Ann!

Friday July 5, 2013

We seriously don't get to see any gowns? This is silly. And Zoey, you're a failure as a stylist for letting Lu Ann slip back into that pink polo shirt even for one second. Now that she's fully dressed again (presuming she's wearing pants), she's just going to bolt out of Zoey's studio and run screaming into the night.

I guess... I guess this is another Lu Ann personality trait, actually, that she just really doesn't give a flip about dresses. Which is shocking, I thought that would be a Tommie personality trait.