So What Do We Do Now?

I thought we were on the same page with the in love/ready for babies/constructing covered walkway between our house and my parents' house. But I guess I was wrong. You and your urban feminist ways, I guess you expected me to just come up and ask you if you were ready for marriage/babies/my parents as your overlords. So what do we do now?

My guess: share one last lunch at the Olive Garden (unlimited salad and breadsticks), where they'll discuss how they're going to break the news to Wally.

Gary, Huh?

Originally I was going to make fun of Paul for being uncommonly affected and hurt by the name "Gary," buuut... when I think about it, I think I get the sentiment. It's like if I found out my boyfriend was married to a girl named Tiffany. No offense to all the Tiffanies out there, but I'd be like "TIFFANY?? Oh come on. No. You did NOT marry a Tiffany. Ugh. Who were you??"

Likewise, I am sure all the Tiffanies out there would react similarly if they found out their man had been married to a Maggie. "Maggie? Maggie? You married a dumpy Scottish chick??"

Private joke: it took me a long time to remember Casey's name, so I used to call her Tiffany. Or was it Stephanie? I can't even remember her fake name.

You only background check the ones you love

Why? Hmm... could it be that she's not over her dead husband? Or she's a compulsive liar? Or is it that she knew you were a possessive, jealous (even of dead guys), and from the looks of it, potentially violent mama's boy who would overreact at the thought of his fiancee having touched another man, ever? It's OK LuAnn, just ask Paul, "Why didn't you tell me your parents were so suspicious and crazy?" Though, I guess she should have assumed they would do a background check before letting just anybody into their cult.

Lies Lies Lies Yeahh

"You're wrong, Paul! I never lied to you, in actual words, about stuff you knew about! But I should tell you about this weird dream I had last night. My old husband was in it! You know, my old husband? I just found out he died! .........oh I see what you're getting at."

I'm Angry!!!

Uh, is it the economy? Afghanistan? Long harbored resentment for the Netflix price increase? Paul's so angry his hair has gone highlighter yellow, while Lu Ann has gone into a full, preemptive worry bobble. I can only hope this break up is swift, so we can finally see what Tommie is up to.

Please Leave a Message-Beep

Let's file this one under "more creepy things my perfect boyfriends says." By the way, pretty sure this is not how cell phone voicemail works.

Let's Do the Time Warp

She probably just hasn't had time to bring it up, Paul.

I wish the question had been one of the ones you folks came up with yesterday, but this is pretty fascinating. They're putting an actual timeframe on the time warp that these people live in. Does anyone know when she actually married her first husband? In the 60s? And apparently I'm too bad at math to figure out the ratio of A3G years to real years, but uh... it's kind of staggering right?

I would love this to wind up being the case, but I guess they'll just make up some story about how her husband died that doesn't take place in the Vietnam era. But really, wouldn't everything make so much more sense if it was still, like, the 70s in A3G world?

I hope in this version, Margo murders Gary. Nobody breaks up their little apartment... nobody. So watch yourself, Paul.

Mistakes Were Made

Okay everyone, I'm back! First of all, if you haven't read Megan's hilarious review of the past four days in A3G History, you should definitely check that out first.

On to today!

Oh my gosh, what a tease. First you say you've run a background check on Lu Ann, and then you report NONE OF THE FINDINGS?? For shame. I mean, what can it possibly say? "Reports indicate she totally hated her hair after her I Dressed in the Dark makeover."

..........I mean, I guess she KIND OF dated a junkie for a few years, but that was pretty on-again, off-again. And by "off-again" I mean "he died." Also, she got kidnapped by a ghost that one time? I can only hope that shows up in the background check.

Any takers on what Papa Linski's question is going to be? "Do you know what color Lu Ann's eyes are?" "Did you know Lu Ann's related to a underbridge-dwelling troll?" "Have you started saving for Paul Jr.'s college fund yet?" etc. etc.

Meanwhile, in New Jersey

So it looks like we took a little Thanksgiving hiatus here at the old blogspot. Hope you all had a relaxing, gluttonous holiday and a joyful day of pepper spraying your fellow shoppers for discounted merchandise!

We've got a lot to recap, so let's get to it!

Thursday, November 25th

OK, it's one thing to paint the extra room a pastel color just in case you decide to use it as a nursery, but to go out and buy a crib before you even get married? That's a dealbreaker (don't sue me Tina Fey). Is Paul's dad supposed to look worried in the second panel? I would have thought he was having a stroke. Don't worry, Lu Ann's the best*!!

*The veracity of this claim has not yet been scientifically proven.

Friday, November 25th

Hey there Gene! Just so you know, I've been working on this blog for like a year and I don't really know Lu Ann Powers all that well. There's really not much more than meets the eye. Have you bought a squiggle painting yet? I'm pretty sure the explanation is in there somewhere.

At least Paul agrees with me that his dad is acting a little creepy. Or at least Paul's eyebrows in the first panel and the black hole creeping in on the right side of the strip agree with me.

Monday, November 28th

Oh boy, this Lu Ann thing is killing old man Linski. He has aged twenty years in three strips! The Linskis have two rules. Number one, always make life changing decisions without consulting your significant other/family member. Number two, it is unnatural to want to live more than two houses away from your immediate family and reflects poorly upon your moral character. The Linski Congress is considering adding a rule (Number three, always wear white shirts), but they're not sure they can get it past Wally's subcommittee.

Tuesday, November 29th

Paul, you should have seen this coming! It's Linski Rule #1! But it is a little crazy. I mean did the Linskis even ask Lu Ann about her family? Paul's so mad he's developing a hunch, and that hunch is bobbling!

Maggie and Casey, you're welcome.

The Right White Dress

For all the talk about how Frank Bolle has been phoning in the artwork, I have to say there are interesting and subtle nuances to this strip. Note that Lu Ann is shrouded in white on one side of the panels, whilst Paul stands opposite, her in a doorway that leads into darkness. The darkness of a Linksi future in Hoboken, perchance? In the final panel, they are separated by Ruby, who is perhaps the pink personification of Lu Ann's yet unspoken doubts.

Can you tell that I went to a liberal arts school, and that I've run out of humorous observations about this unending storyline?

Say Yes to the Dress so we can move on already

Friday, October 11, 2011

Okay, so as mrvy pointed out in the previous post's comments, Paul might have a legitimate reason to have some say in Lu Ann's attire on wedding day. And he can't possibly call or text, he has to tell her in person. Right now. Of course.

Saturday, October 12, 2011

That said, when a bride is wearing her dress, most gals want to hear their grooms say that they look "beautiful" rather than gush that they look "modest in every way!!" Ruby gives no reason as to why she's crying. If I were Lu Ann, I would press for details. I think maybe she's shopping for dresses at the same bridal chain Adrian Corey was.

I Must Control This!

"And by wrong dress, I mean any dress. Because obviously you are going to wear Mother's wedding dress. In fact, I brought you some of her clothes to wear so you'll smell like her. Don't you think your hair should be greyer?"

STILL MORE!

Well! I bet you thought we were all finished covering this fascinating convo. I can't get enough though!

Friday October 21, 2011

Paul thinks guest lists are easy. Ruby doesn't. Next.

Saturday October 22, 2011

Paul thought Lu Ann's parents knew about the wedding, but they don't. Paul is hurt, and Lu Ann looks cheery.

Everything Is Lu Ann's Fault

Yup, that's what marriage is Ruby. Duh. I hope you have a dowry ready, too.

The increasing likelihood that Lu Ann is going to dump Paul is sad to me in an admittedly morbid sense. I was hoping they'd find new and exciting ways to do away with the men in A3G. Oh, unless Ruby intervenes somehow, because Lu Ann is too weak to ever really dump him. Actually, she'd make the perfect trophy wife. She could be all done up like the Mona Lisa and everything. Won't you just let these two crazy kids be, Ruby??

Still Doing This!

False alarm, everybody! False alarm. No one interesting coming in to crash this boring party. Just Paul. Also, if you thought Lu Ann and Ruby would have any visible reaction to Even More Linski Control of the wedding plans, you'd be wrong. Although they seem to have slipped into sychronized catatonic states. Paul can still see you, you guys! It's too late to pretend you're not there!

Anyway, what is there left to plan at this point? Hasn't Mama L taken care of everything? Is Paul just swinging by to let them know, yes, he's called in a reservation at his parents' house, it's all booked, no one worry.

Trouble in Paradise

Now Paul, I know it's unfathomable, but not everyone is dying to live next to your family in Hoboken. And people actually do live in New York City.

But to be fair, Lu Ann, it's considered gauche to discuss your future during your first 3 dates, or during a proposal on your fourth date at his family reunion. You can't possibly have expected him to bring it up earlier.

But I can't believe the engagement might fall apart already. I thought for sure it would last longer than their relationship, at least a few weeks.

Whatever You Want

Where is this money coming from, Paul? Property in New Jersey (especially so close to Manhattan) isn't cheap, no matter how the real estate market is trending. Still, there are scads of people lined up to buy this house... gotta move fast in real estate. I can just imagine the MLS Property Listing.

You will fall in love with this neighborhood!!!!!! And house. Charming two(-ish) story (faux) colonial in the heart of Hoboken. Less than five minutes from public transportation, Wawa, Mrs. Linski. Community laundry, carpooling, and chocolate chip cookies available next door.

On a positive note, I'm kind of in love with those warm brown line drawings of the houses. And you'd have to click on the image to see this, but I think they're coloring the leaves on the trees using a stroke instead of a fill? Pretty sophisticated techniques for our colorists, who just last week made Ruby's hair barf-colored.

Moving on Up

I just took the initiative and made a major life decision without consulting you! Surprise! At least he bought at a time of historically low interest rates. Is this going to be the straw that breaks this relationship's back? Lu Ann looks somewhat pleased with herself in the final panel. "All I've ever wanted is a man to decide that we're living the rest of our lives together in Hoboken, right next to his family."

On a Block in New Jersey

OH SNAP, Lu Ann is going to have to live on the Linski Compound!! Good twist. But um, what happened to that sweet little murder shack you were going to fix up, Paul? Isn't dad worried about your spending so much money? Maybe the murder shack will be Lu Ann's artist studio. You know, for when Lu Ann feels like getting away from it all/the vise-like grip of the Linski clan.

The Crowd Begins to Chant...

Started writing this post before I saw Megan's below, but since there's almost less than nothing to say about today's strip, I'll just post what I had already written.


Hi everyone, Maggie here with the Saturday to Monday beat. Most of the time, I skip Sunday; it's usually a bland rehash of the not-so-interesting things that have happened earlier that week. Plus, everyone looks even whiter in the Sunday strips. So let's skip Sunday and just check out Saturday and Monday, shall we?

Saturday September 10, 2011Monday, September 12, 2011

Oh, sure, I get i--guh-HUNHHH??! I have to read Sunday to see whether Lu Ann accepted Paul's proposal or awkwardly stood there not saying anything until people started to disperse? Fine.

You gotta love those sweet, thoughtful Linskis, all dressed exactly alike, all chanting in unison (except for Dilton Doiley nudging his way in over to the side). Do you imagine the chanting in a deep, numb tone or high and shrill? I'm suddenly sensing a pod people/Stepford wives angle here. Nevertheless, for all her misgivings, Lu Ann has enthusiastically accepted Paul's proposal. Yay! Now, how, where and why will this go wrong?

Not sure what to say about the 9/11 tribute, which is shoe-horned in, but with obvious good intent. For a strip set in New York City, but with very few actual references to the city itself, it seems appropriate. Still, could the colorists have put a little extra effort into the American flag?? Crikey.