No. Way.

No way it's going to end like this. I don't believe it. I feel like I've gotten to know Margaret Shulock pretty well over the past year of writing this blog, and I feel like... she... she wouldn't do this to us. No way. Nope. There's a twist coming. Bobbie must be hiding some kind of second gun or knife under that orange trenchcoat, because this is not over. It can't be! Gabriella hasn't even come down the stairs yet!

Try, Try, Try to Understand

"Jingle jangle tinkle" is probably an approximation of a generic ringtone, but come on, we all know Bobbie would've shelled out for a custom ringtone for Ari by now. My guess: either "Magic Man" by Heart or "Smack That" by Akon. Or something equally gross.

Meanwhile, while Bobbie's distracted, Martin takes this opportunity to... not so much disarm Bobbie, but maybe conjur some kind of magic spell on the gun? Interesting strategy.

You're Not Well

Bobbie, you're being unfair. Martin's helped plenty of people! Like how about that apartment building he bought to keep Gabriella sheltered? He didn't just buy it to make bundles becoming a slumlord. And remember when he went to India with Margo? That.. was helpful. It was really nice that he presumably took care of booking all the flights and hotels! Now don't make Martin slap you with that tiny arm sticking out of his chest.

Uncanny!

I liked the Jedi brainstorm from yesterday's comments, but after seeing today's comic, I would guess Martin's an X-man. Like Kitty Pryde, he has the power of "phasing," managing to "push" right through Margo and pass her on the narrow staircase. Margo is shocked; clearly Martin never revealed his powers to her, and she probably hasn't come to terms with her own mutant abilities yet (disdain that can chill the soul and razor-sharp fingernails, to name a few).

Finger pointing, too, is hereditary. Finger versus gun! Maybe if Martin's finger and Margo's finger team up against the gun they can take it down, but I'm not positive about a one-on-one matchup.

Stand Down!

This is more like it! I love the staircase floating in space, Bedknobs and Broomsticks style, while Martin continues to look only mildly perturbed by the situation. Margo, of course, is hilariously off the mark thinking that Bobbie won't shoot her. I mean, I can't believe she even got the entire sentence out of her mouth while striking that classic "step off, dad!" pose without everyone bursting out laughing.

The Rat Himself

I don't know how the Event of a Lifetime I've been desperately awaiting for the past three months could get boring after a couple of days, but somehow it has done just that. Bobbie, the gleefully manic star of the show, is somehow getting pushed into the background. How can that be allowed to happen??

I know this bland bit of exposition is necessary for non-regular readers to get their bearings plot-wise, but when the dialogue sags, that's when the art should really sing! How about a close-up of Bobbie's deranged face? Or maybe Martin could have some kind of a reaction in the second panel--even just a BOBBLE, for goodness sake!--to his estranged ex-wife showing up out of the blue calling him a rat and shaking a gun. It's pretty shocking, right? Right Martin? Hmm? Yes? Shocking? Martin?

Not Now, Dad!

Margo will (probably) not move, but come on, like Bobbie could ever take a nice, clean shot with her hand bobbling all around like that! I'm going to put up a reader poll posthaste. Who, or what, will Bobbie shoot? My guess: the staircase, or maybe a wall.

In all this mayhem, there is a clear cry coming from the people, and that cry is: where is Taser Lady? And where is Ruby and her bucket of suds? Where are the other members of Margo's impromptu criming-fighting club when one of their own is at risk? I suppose they're "at their own apartment building" or some such, but their extrasensory perception for danger must be pulsing in their temples by now! Ruby is probably just whipping up a fresh batch of hot water and palmolive.

Ar-Magee-don

First of all, I'm so excited to see all the commenting going on. I mean, how can you not want to comment on as Randy/KarMann calls it Ar-Magee-don, but it's such a thrill to have intelligent and enthusiastic observers. Keep yapping!

Second of all, oh my god, Margo is so awesome. First she scolds Bobbie like she's a child, then she calmly, even philosophically, tries to reason with Bobbie. Who negotiates with someone holding a gun like this?? Besides Bobbie, I mean. ...huh. Maybe it's just me, but the way I would've handled this would've been more like:

Bobbie: So you're in on it too. I should've know. (reveals gun)
Me: OH, WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. Is that a gun?? Oh shit oh shit! Ahh!! Wait a second, is that real? uhhhh OH NO IT'S REAL IT'S REAL OH F^@* I'M DEAD
Bobbie: Don't come any closer or I'll shoot.
Me: I know, I know! No! I know! I'm not coming any closer! Look at me! I'm up and leaving! You want me to get my mom real quick? WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THAT GUN ALL SHAKY AND CRAZY LIKE THAT?? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Are you thirsty? Can I get you something to drink?

Annnnnnd then she'd shoot me.

Stairway Negotiations

"Whoa there, Roberta. You've got it all wrong. I don't even like the idea of my parents getting back together. I think it's way icky. How about you just put the gun away, and we'll go out and get something to eat? I'll order an appetizer, and you'll tell me I'm fat, and I'll develop an eating disorder--just like the good old days!"

I have to admit, I did not think Roberta would reveal her gun this early in what is sure to be the climactic scene of this plotline. And on a Saturday whatsmore, traditionally a slow day for comics! I'd say we've got another three weeks or so before it actually goes off. April 28th. Any other guesses?

Crazy Woman Bingo!

Hahaha! When I looked at yesterday's comments, I was like, "Crap, I blew it one this one. Marguerite is totally right, she's going to hire him as a hit-man, it makes no sense that she would risk trying to kill him herself." But apparently, yes, she is comfortable waving around her own pistol! How... responsible?

For a brief moment, I thought they were going to team up and rob BANK, but alas, that even wackier plot twist was not to be.

Dah! The W Word!

Didn't think Bobbie would continue being so smart alecky about the situation, especially after being called the W word. She even tosses around some casual finger pointing. No idea what she's pointing to, since it's politely below panel, but I'm not sure what I think of trying to negotiate with street thugs. Oh that Bobbie! She's so impulsive.

So let's think about some scenarios here.

1. He doesn't have a gun, but bludgeons her and takes her purse anyway (not likely)
2. He doesn't have a gun, so he gets embarrassed and scampers away (more likely, but dumb)
3. He does have a gun and pistol whips her and takes the purse (more likely in real life than here)
4. He does have a gun which he decides to sell for all the money in her purse (most likely)
   

All right, dirtbag, your move!

Uh oh!

I was kind of hoping my commenters were right and the guy in green would wind up being a poorly drawn Martin or Gabriella, but it turns out it's just some thug. A pretty gutsy one, purse snatching in a busy city in broad daylight! Um, hey, where is everyone? Maybe Bobbie's lawyer is located in a rundown, unpopulated part of town... like the Pink Brick district.

Look, it's not that I don't believe this doesn't occasionally happen, it's just that in New York City, I think there would be at least a couple of witnesses who would just be too scared or indifferent to help. And I'd think a purse snatcher in this town would have a bit more sophisticated technique than, "Gimme the purse, lady!" I've ever been a victim of purse snachery, though... anyone have a story to share?

Step Aside, Ye Knave!

WHOA, awesome! Who is THAT? Is that supposed to be a full raincoat, or some kind of angular hoody? Or is it a cloak and this guy is a straight-up comic book villian? In any case, he's looking pretty menacing, and yet Bobbie could care less. I think she assumes anyone wearing a garment with a hood must be a homeless person... probably begging for money to buy booze... booze she could be drinking! Ah Bobbie, you warm my heart right to the very bottom!

Oh, I'll Wrap Up This Scene, All Right!

"Oh, I'll think about it, all right!" is one of those feeble things you say when you're trying to muster up your last shred of dignity in the most transparent way possible. Oh Bobbie will consider that offer from her husband, but she'll think about it in a very defiant manner. You got that??

I hope this is not the last we see of James Lipton. If Heaven exists, I wonder what he'd like God to say to him when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

Scrumtrulescent

James Lipton proves why he's the best in the biz: thoughtful, provoking questions that produce honest, crazy answers. So brazen pettiness is the only thing that will hurt Martin? This explains a disappointing lack of violence in this story arc thus far, as well as Margo's general demeanor.

Or maybe Bobbie literally doesn't own any weapons... yet. Maybe tomorrow James will suggest use of conventional weapons ("Have you considered challenging your husband to a knife fight?") and then this story will REALLY get going! Hope, people.

The Best Things in Life Are Free

As troll-like and scary as she looks here, I kind of do feel bad for Bobbie. Her husband trying to pay her off to get rid of her is kind of heartbreaking. But then, we've learned that that's all Martin knows how to do - use money to fix his problems. He's trying to build his family with Gabriella and Margo by spending money, but not on them, so they can't get mad. Right? He's got to learn that it's not all about cash! See, Martin, just move to Utah and marry Gabriella there, it's all good, and she'll be swooning at your romantic gesture. (No offense to any of our Utah friends out there. I know polygamy isn't 'legal' there.)

Man, this whole Martin theory better pay off someday.

A Deal You Say?

I think we all saw this coming, but I love bobble-head Bobbie's reaction to the news. I'm digging her complete shock at this turn of events. Oh, you made a deal that you wouldn't get divorced? Yeah, isn't that called "getting married"? Like, I take you forever and ever even if you dye your hair some hideous shade of yellow and turn out to be a bipolar radiator-obsessed pill-popper? So why are you so astonished that he'd go back on this sketchy "deal" to hold on to your sham of a marriage for the sake of apperance?

But hey, now the Professor can feel better about his relationship. Go get 'er, Prof. You win, I guess....

Not Exactly...

"No, no... I have this screenplay I'd like you to read. It's about this prison warden...."
OK, too obscure?
Thanks to McClure for the inspiration, because I had literally nothing to say about today's strip. Maybe her husband hired PI Alecx and found out she was cheating and she's gonna get screwed in divorce court. Woo!

Inside the Lawyer's Studio

"No, I just wanted to ask you a few questions. What is your favorite curse word?"
Please tell me I'm not the only one who saw him.

I really worried for a second there when I saw the words "tax lecture," but maybe something will come of this yet.

You Can't Go....! Well, Guess It's My Lunch Time....

You know, I don't like to brag, but I think I must have some kind of magical powers. I mean, look at the evidence. I ask to see Tommie, and she appears. I ask to see anyone BUT Tommie, and wham. It's Bobbie time!
Speaking of magical powers, I think Bobbie must be wielding some major ones herself. She's not only able to render the Professor powerless, but has clearly stricken this poor receptionist (receptionists? I think she got some plastic surgery between panels 1 & 2) with some kind of paralysis (though she IS able to get some finger-wag action in there). This strip opens up limitless possibilities! I'm so excited. Let's examine some of them, shall we?

a) Bobbie's husband is there! (Martin?!)
b) Margo is there! (with Martin?! for some reason)
c) Arnold Ackerman is having some kind of torrid affair in there! Maybe with someone we know. Lu Ann? She hasn't been around much, right?
d) The receptionist is just legimately concerned that Bobbie is storming into the lawyer's private meeting with another client, who has no connection to Bobbie or anything particularly interesting about him/her. Bobbie will come in and berate the lawyer in vague terms for a few days, mostly recapping what we already know and then presumably leaving while we turn our focus to the Professor, who will be resolving to dump her yet again.

I'm personally predicting option d, since it's pretty much been the pattern of late. I'm hoping for b or maybe a, not c because the way I'm picturing Arnold Ackerman, I don't think I want to see that.

e) Choose your own adventure! What do you think will happen when Bobbie goes into the lawyer's office? If I like it enough, I'll make it happen with my magical powers.*


*disclaimer: no guarantee of actual magical powers or ability to make things happen in a comic strip that was written months ago.