Demons

Saturday December 20, 2013

Uh, Dr. Bentley didn't say anything about PTSD, nor the weird claim that it could be cured. He probably thought Cole's long-term health issues might be single dad-itis, or chronic gym teacher hair. More importantly, check out Dr. Bentley in panel two. Where, exactly, does the demons' power get mitigated to? Could it be to a certain DR. BEELZEBENTLEY? Marty feels a pang of dread.

Monday December 23, 2013

Not sure what about the free hospital that "cures" PTSD made it the tough choice. Maybe it was everyone's unyielding support for the idea. Or the demon-mitigating thing.

Fresh Start

Thursday December 19, 2013

We have phones and email... right? We have email? Because I'm pretty sure Margo's relationship with James Bond fell apart because he didn't realize he could just text her.

Friday December 20, 2013

Hahaha! Oh Marty. You could use a fresh start. Once Tori lets the kids at school know you're a $500-bill vending machine, they'll never let up. Good thing ol' Dr. Shapeshifter signed Cole up without his consent! The nice men are probably on their way to help him put on the funny-looking jackets they wear there.

This Beautiful Hospital

Gosh, Doc, I've been burned by the VA before, I'm not sure I can trust any institution to know what's best for me. This is a big decision.... do you mind if I ask my child's volunteer art teacher?

They're Coming To Take Me Away

"Cole, I'm not just a medical professional recommending you to the Governor Peter Russo Hospital for Veterans Who Have Been In the Strip Too Long, I happen to also be patient there!  It's been instrumental in helping me work to get my medical license back."

Opportunity

Upstate? I hope Dr. Not-a-Doctor took a drive on the internet first. Or the phone. Although if Lu Ann's relationship with the Governor taught us anything, its that intra-state travel in New York is instantaneous, and fun!

But...

Ohhhh I wonder what Cole's going to say. "I do, but they're really nasty feelings." "I do, but I'm a shapeshifting alien who cannot live on this world." "I do, but what are you doing with your fingers?" "I do, but did you actually break up with Peter, or did you kind of just turn down his public proposal, let him set you up with a ride, and leave him hanging?" (Seriously, when she left, Peter said he would wait for her as long as it takes. Uhhh... is he still there?)

Wonderful

Thank you for convinving me to stay another week in the hospital, Lu Ann. I actually feel even better than I did immediately following the surgery, if that's possible! In fact, I think that surgery cured all my other problems! The pressure from the tumor was activating my PTSD gland and my alcohola oblongata. And turns out what they thought was a tumor was actually just a wadded up $500 bill! Plus, apparently this "Marty" character was just some orphan that's been following me around! I'm a new man. And I'm sinnnnnglllllle....!

Mostly Regret

Just in case you were wondering, Dr. Bentley is giving the universal sign for "time to party," the violently shaken, overly-aggressive thumbs up.  Either that or he's just having a bad case of the DTs.

Instead of going out to party, Dr. Bentley should be writing a paper for The New England Journal of Medicine detailing his novel brain surgery that requires no cutting into the patient's skull and a recovery time equal to how long it takes the patient to get dressed in his finest mustard overcoat.

Don't You Remember?

"We used to talk to each other over dinner...Remember?  We made our plates one quarter veggies, one quarter fruit, one quarter cereal grains and one quarter mustard?!?!?!  Just like the USDA and Michelle Obama recommend!*  Now look at us, our fruit and veggie bowl is overflowing, the cereal is going stale!  How do we get back to that place?!?!?!"

*Addendum: This asterisk represents this bloggers first real world encounter with the federal government shutdown.  In attempting to verify the actual makeup of the new food pyramid plate, I was unable to access confirmation on the USDA's website.  The fact that I can't verify something on a government website for my satirical comic blog post is the first personal problem I've had with the government shutdown also serves as a delightful example of a first world problem (or #firstworldproblem for those readers who prefer ideas displayed with the Tic-Tac-Toe Board of Pisa and no spaces).  Also, I can probably say that Michelle Obama is not shut down.  She can't afford to miss a day toning those guns.

Things To Do

Is the implication here that Tori is some malevolent pixie, befriending young teens until her message of mistrust and discontentment takes hold before simply moving on to her next victim? I bet we never see Tori again. Rats. Marty had so much more to learn. Like riding in fast cars with boys!

After School Special

Maybe it's just the arched eyebrow, but Lu Ann has quite a mischevious look on her face in the final panel.  Or maybe she just gets her jollies purely through meddling and Cole's parental ineptitude.  And it's weird that she's thrown off her shoes, but is still carrying her purse around Cole's apartment. 

Normal Teen Behavior

Marty starting flipping you off before furtively darting into her room and turning up her music real loud? That's normal teen behavior! Just like normal teacher behavior is to hang out with her student's single dad, kicking off her shoes and indulging in endless cups of coffee! Now. Let's talk about your placement of drapes.

Caffeinated Infidelity

"I took a chance you'd be home because I do not own, nor have I ever heard of, a 'cell phone.'"

By the way, Lu Ann, if all you needed was coffee to perk you up, I'm sure there was a Starbucks on the way to the cemetary, so you could be all bright-eyed and awake for your boyfriend's traumatic experience. But good call on leaving him alone to go hang out with your "friend" at his place to drink his coffee. It better be really good coffee.

Drugs

"Cole, you look super duper great. And super hot. So you feel great, right? No? Not even close? Way off base? Okay. Sorry. I'll just... let myself out." Not sure the level of detail we're going to get into about Cole's prescriptions, but I suspect the only drugs Lu Ann knows are cocaine, heroin, and wacky tabacky.

Special shout-out to our comments section, you guys have been cracking me up. Between Tori acting like a middle-aged barfly and all the comments on that. Silk. Dress. ...you're killing me!

Father of the Year

 

"Changed my mind?  No, I still think that Tori is a street tough from the wrong side of the tracks, and I saw her shotgun an Arbor Mist in the hallway before coming into my apartment, but Marty has no other friends. I didn't fight and watch my friends die to come home and have endless conversations about which guy from One D is hotter.   A man deserves peace in his own home!"

Cole's Kitchen

Uh oh, the voices in Lu Ann's head are starting to laugh? That's usually a bad sign. Also, swiveling your head and banging it against the wall. Maybe it's time for another three week long conversation over coffee.

We're Friends!!

Is Cole so embarrassed to be getting the "I like you as a friend" brush-off that he has literally exploded, the contents of his body instantly evaporating with an ignominious and somewhat absurd "click"? Or did Mr. Bolle just forget to draw him in the second panel? Discuss.

Teenage Girls

Ugh, ever since Cole officially made Lu Ann his official Counselor on Daughters, she's been sooo bored with their relationship. "Cole, she's probably with Tori. You know how teenage girls are, they're terrible with time management and whatnot. They're probably chilling at the library where, hello? you're not allowed to use cellphones. Or their batteries died. Whatever, who can keep track of time when you're rip roaring drunk anyway?"

Sunday Recap

Friday, August 2nd

That was the short version of this story?!?!  I think a brain tumor is going to be pretty hard to hide, especially if you're undergoing treatment.

Marty: "Daddy, why is all your hair gone?"
Cole: "It's no big deal Marty, I am just auditioning for the role of Telly Savalas in a Lifetime movie..."
Marty: "But you're not an actor..."
Cole: "What's that?  Great conversation honey, I have to go for more radia...I mean to Radiation studios...it's where they're filming my movie.  Why don't you go visit Lu Ann at the gallery?"

Saturday, August 3rd

"Here Cole, let me pinch your shoulder.  The mild pain you feel will distract you from your brain tumor/PTSD/chronic pain/alcoholism/keeping a life or death secret from your only child.  There...doesn't that feel better?"

Triple Threat

Can't you see I don't want to talk about my chronic pain, depression, and substance abuse? I have bigger problems... like half of my face trying to crawl over to the other side.

Do they still use Agent Orange? Because I think that might explain what's happening here. Except that Lu Ann's face seems to be having the same reaction, so who knows. Maybe the cottage pictures are really Magic Eyes and they're just struggling to focus.