Friday, June 29, 2012

The Other Pain

I don't know, is it too harsh to say that Nina seems really really dumb? I mean, I'd be like HOLY CRAP TOMMIE YOU HAVE TO HELP ME I HAVE A BABY COMING OUT OF ME AND APPENDICITIS ALL AT ONCE. At least get that on the table as a possibility. Does Nina know so very little about birthin babies that jabbing side pain might be something that happens? "No it's the other pain on my side, it's agony! I believe it's... it's the baby? punching my ovary in anger?? He doesn't want to leave the nest, Tommie! Pretty sure I'm incubating a hellspawn here! Pretty sure it'll kill me and all! With its tiny tiny punches that hurt so so much!" ...but no paramedics, please.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Exams Are the Worst

Yes, Nina, the worst thing that's about to happen to you is that Tommie is going to examine you. Dear God, not the examination!
You might want to focus on the bowling bowl that's about to push itself out of you.

PS, am I the only one who thinks Tommie looks like a cute little boy scout in the first panel? "Just here to earn my birthing badge."

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Something is Wrong

What's that, pumpkin? You can sense that something's wrong with the pregnancy? Are you an expert in things you've never done or read about before? Well don't you worry, sweetpants, our puppet midwife is on the way. Hopefully she's an expert at stuff she's never done before too!

It's a little late, but let's start the pool anyway. I say we see our first drawing of an infant.... July 23rd.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tommie Can You Hear Me?

I can't stop laughing at Scott's incredibly goofy grin in the first panel.  It's completely irrelevant to everything occuring around him.  Poor Frank, this whole pregnancy thing is really taxing his drawing abilities.  He has to draw Scott being reassuring, which he kind of succeeds at, albeit he's being reassuring that giant, green pillow/bean bag chair.  And Nina doesn't look in pain in the first panel, she looks super pissed off at Scott's heavy petting/grin, and in the second panel it looks like she's transforming into a She Hulk.  Look at those guns!

Tommie will probably have to stop and have some thought bubbles about the impending birth/her nervousness about midwifery, plus she's going to have to tell Margo where she's going/what is happening, and then stand there silently while Margo stokes the rumor mill.  I don't think you stoke a mill, but I'm not really up on all the latest mechanical doo-dads.  All in all, I'm going to guess Monday?  Cross those legs, Nina.

Monday, June 25, 2012

House of Pain

Hey, Tommie! What are you up to tonight? Nothing? Greaaaat....! So, wanna come over to our house? We're ordering pizzzzzza! Also, Nina may or may not be in labor. I forgot to ask if she's having contractions, per se, and I didn't look to see if her water broke (ick), but she just won't stop complaining about this pain! Maybe could you come over here and let us know if it's the stomach flu? Don't bring any shifty EMTs with you, either.

Sunday, June 24, 2012


That is the most cryptic answer to the suggestion that someone call the paramedics that I have ever heard.  They follow their own rules?  I'm guessing that Nina does not give to her local fire house when they call annually for donations.

Tommie to the rescue!  A home birth with a rookie midwife is clearly the safer option than going to a sterile medical facility with trained professionals.

Friday, June 22, 2012

We Need Help

So Nina is super duper worried about dying in childbirth, buuuuut not so crazy about the whole hospital thing. She can't be moved, people! In fairness to Nina, she's probably so ignorant about childbirth that she doesn't realize agonizing pain is part of the deal, and thinks that she is experiencing death pangs. Death pangs that... increase with movement. I wonder who has enough midwife experience AND time on their hands to help these two out?

Thursday, June 21, 2012


Oh my. A couple of days ago Megan said she was hoping that blackness on the floor by Nina a shadow, not something coming from her body. Now I'm worried it's neither, and is in fact a shadowy, sentient being that is wrestling Nina to the floor and, it appears, pushing Scott down the stairs. I'm getting a Rosemary's baby vibe from all of this.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Scott Bolts, Scott Charges

Oh boy, I can just hear the rumor mill grinding now! "Blandly Handsome Rich Guy Scott Gains Curses, Jaywalks." Hoo boy! He's going to be in some hot water now!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Time to Deliver

Maybe the reason that Nina's mother died in childbirth is because she thought it was the stomach flu and decided to take a long walk by herself away from town. I hope that black puddle on the floor is a shadow and not Nina's water/bile that broke on the floor.  Seriously, where is Tommie?  I thought she would have sensed Nina's distress by now.  Gaines Manor has a wine cellar but no clock?

Monday, June 18, 2012

I Have No Idea What Happens Next

Oh wow! I think Nina reads the blog! Yes Nina, you are a little bit of a fool, but acceptance is the first step towards recovery. So, if you're still reading the site, here's what I think comes next in the baby having process, based on baby-having episodes of my favorite sitcoms Full House, Step by Step, The Office, The Nanny, Friends, Mad About You, and I Love Lucy. So, you start having contractions (maybe someone with a stopwatch will "time" these, but I don't really know why), someone whisks you away to a hospital, and then after hours and hours of contractions, you push out a baby! That's... it? Maybe there's more I don't know about. Sorry. Should've hit the books!

Oh, also, your water will break at the most inopportune moment, which is usually good for a laugh.

Friday, June 15, 2012

She's Leaving Home

While Nina's off puking up a kid, we are witness to the devestating fallout of her mysterious disappearance at home. It's heart-breaking to watch Fred Blake look around her room and then calmly decide to gather more information. Just harrowing. And by that I mean, um, it's not very interesting. Tell Scott! He's sure to immediately jump into full-blown panic. Oh, or better yet, tell his publicist!

Thursday, June 14, 2012


And that's the story of how Nina puked up a baby.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dramatic Irony

What we're seeing here is a prime example of "dramatic irony," where the character speaks erroneously due to ignorance of some knowledge that the audience is privvy to. In this case, Nina thinks she's getting the stomach flu, but we, the audience, have the secret knowledge that after being pregnant for a while, you go into labor, and it hurts. Sweet, sweet irony!

P.S. I hope you've noticed that Nina's egregious lack of common sense has made it to the banner. She earned it!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Our House

Don't worry Nina, Scott is probably just out running errands with his publicist Margo.  Gotta keep that rumor mill grinding!

In my mind, Nina's horror in the last panel results from her revulsion at common domesticity.  "What am I thinking?  MAKE SCOTT COFFEE?  WITH MY OWN HANDS?  I'm too wealthy.  Someone call Jeeves or have the concierge bring me some Starbucks."

Monday, June 11, 2012

I've Come Home, Darling!

Annnnnnnd, cue labor. I know in the end all of Margo's advice will wind up being perfect, but right now, her brilliant plan of "totally ignore your wife and just listen to me, the cause of all your problems" seems kind of silly.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Something Has Changed

Friday June 8, 2012

Saturday June 9, 2012

Oh hey guys! It's me, Maggie! I'm back. Did you miss me/were you angered in my absense? (mostly addressing Casey and Megan with that last one)

So, WOW, I totally missed a lot while I was working double overtime the last couple of weeks. Thank goodness I returned to blogging in time to see Nina get out of bed and think to herself! I would've kicked myself if I had missed this game-changing moment. P.S. I like how Nina's unbelievably wealthy father hooks her up with a twin bed. Thanks, Dad!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Bad Liar

Wednesday, June 6

Yup, the paparazzi will be banging down my door any second now. Annnnnnnyyyy second......

Thursday, June 7

Wow, Margo was right. I mean, I figured Scott was a bad liar when he tried to explain away his drunken canoodling with Margo, but he's such a bad liar that he can't wait to tell his father-in-law the truth, even though it's completely unnecessary and he knows it will upset pretty much the only person who might be able to help him get his wife back. I guess when Margo told him he was a bad liar, he really took it to heart. "I am going to be the worst liar ever!"

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Where's Maggie?

Another Tuesday, another four day recap.  If this happens again next weekend, I'm leaving it for Casey :)

Friday, June 1st

I think she's technically only Scott's publicist, as I doubt Nina would have signed on.  Margo's pretty sure that Nina hates her.  And Tommie believes that Nina can hear remote conversations from her undisclosed secluded location within the Blake home.

Saturday, June 2nd

"Haven't you read the word Margo?  The Holy Scripture of Midwifery by Olga Buttinski-Oldemaid?  The second commandment of midwifery, after followeth your pregnant woman hither and thither, is thou art like a priestess to both mother and fetii, keepeth both in confidence most close." 

Monday, June 4th

Margo is so cruel.  As if Tommie has anyone to tell gossip too.  You could at least let her whisper it to the elderly, unconscious patient she has to give a sponge bath to. 

Tuesday, June 5th

Mary Poppins did say a spoonful of sugar helps one swallow the uncomfortable truth of potential/almost adultery...or something.  I like how Scott is hiding this call from his father-in-law and not Nina.  He's probably right beneath Nina's window, which she opened because she was feeling stuffy in her father's panic room.  Scott's going to have more explaining to do.