Upset

Thursday June 25, 2015

 Friday June 26, 2015

Okay, so a little more exposition on Lu Ann's future plans: she will NOT be staying in New York, which overturns the theory that she will bum around/hook/live in squalor until Margo takes her back. Barking Monkey's theory that Margo will have a complete breakdown and Lu Ann will stay to help her through the tough times makes the most sense to me, which doesn't mean it will happen, but at least it would create a tidy (if impermanent) reason why Lu Ann can't leave the apartment, no one can leave the apartment, no one can ever ever leave.

Meanwhile, doesn't Tommie look DEVASTATED by this news? She's already thinking about setting up a home gym in Lu Ann's room, I guarantee it.

The Villain

I think you mean martyr, not villain, but I get the idea. Yeah, Diane! Stop being such a hot-shot superstar wedding planner villain martyr, Diane! Planning to meet the stylist and go to David's Bridal in one day Diane? Just don't expect to pull that kind of stunt without Margo's finger right up in your face! ...Diane!

No Big Deal

No joke, I've spent about a half hour trying to come up with an appropriate reference for who Lu Ann looks like in this in that last panel. Shelley Winters? Too much hair. Vivian Vance? Same. Loni Anderson? No. Loni Anderson never looked as old as Lu Ann does right here. Any ideas?

Anyway, she's obviously secondary in this scene as Martin and Margo bask in their newly found daughter-father love. Lu Ann, the fire escape is still a viable option if you want to get out and avoid the lobby with Mr. Six Flags, as Downpuppy delightfully dubbed him.

At Least They Left The Apartment?

OMG!  Matrón, the fabulous boutique on Third that caters to older, perpetually single women is having a a buy one, get one free sale on blouses and turtlenecks!  I hope Lu Ann put her credit card in her attaché case! 

Tuesday Recap

Monday, September 8th

"To be honest, I'm not even sure that I am crying.  I'd say it's more of a smirk-grimace.  I've been keeping my emotions as bottled up as this closely buttoned blouse."

Tuesday, September 9th

 

Maybe Lily has finally made a run for the wilderness, where she can live a normal deer life? Or the mare saw Danica McKellar walking near the pasture?   Or maybe she's just as irritated by this storyline as the rest of us and is trying to break free.

Different People

Get the stick out?  Is that supposed to be referring to the stick up Tommie's butt that makes her rigid and unfriendly?  Or is this some regional colloquialism with which I am not familiar?

I'm not sure why Tommie finds it so hard to get along with Carol...She looks like Lu Ann and is bossing her around like Margo.  She should feel right at home!

Ghosts

Carol, please, just let him go! You've trailed behind Jack through like eight changes of scenery this week. We can't miss the dope if he never leaves. Actually, it's pretty unlikely that we'll ever miss him, but come on, at least give us a chance!

No Time to Talk

This is the farm, Carol!  We don't talk about our horrible losses, we deaden their pain with manual labor.  Then we feel nothing, nothing but the heavy sludge of manure beneath our feet.

On a side note, and maybe I'm alone on this, but I feel like going after your dead friend's husband is an uncomfortable gray area.  I would pretty much need a vision of said dead friend saying "No, really, this is totally what I want!" before I would even consider it.  I guess Lu Ann + Eye Bags doesn't have the same qualms or a good retinol cream.

Nothing Has Changed

Say what?? The most awkward, tepid kiss in the universe wasn't enough to satisfy the emotional chasm inside of Carol that Jack has no capacity to fill?

Ah, remember the halcyon days when Jack was described as "the original cranky guy with a heart of gold" which I thought mean he would be old and grizzled and maybe a prospector? And then we got this guy. And Lily... died... I guess? Man.

Really Hope You're Kidding

Carol is using the ol' "look at my butt" technique to intimidate her rival, then follows up with the "direct question no one would ever ask a stranger." And it's totally working! Tommie is so rattled that her facial expression, hand gesture and what she's saying have no relation to one another.

Dead in the Road

Jack Riley is a large animal vet with a healthy respect for the cruel whims of fate.  Nature, not nuture, is his motto.  If you see a majestic creature suffering in the wild, don't rescue it/humanely end it's suffering, just walk away.  Let the suffering take it's natural course and revel in it. 

The Low-Down

Theoretically, I understand this conversation will eventually move the plot, in some blandly handsome but misunderstood way, but I feel like there are at least a hundred more interesting conversations we could listen to these two having than this one. Like when the last time Tommie got paid was, or where Lu Ann bought that dress, or why they decided to install a screen door inside the apartment.

Where Can I Get This Job?

Actually, I'm pretty sure that is her. I think Tommie is excellent at sitting at home feeling sorry for herself.

I'm guessing the fawn is going to play into this. (Yeah, remember the fawn? I think Frank got tired of having to draw something other than generic woman-type and man-type figures.) Maybe Tommie is going to start an animal rescue in 3G! That'll give her a purpose after her definitely not fake fiance died.

This is good though. I'm glad Tommie is finally getting the opportunity to relax. All that girl ever does is work, work, work!

Mystery Man

If the Cheshire Cat smiled by pursing his nude, fleshy lips into a tight pout, then yes she's grinning just like him.  I guess she's kind of smiling in the second panel, or showing her teeth to Margo as a warning that she's too close.

In the meantime, I'm going to pretend that this storyline is going somewhere awesome!  Somewhere like Tommie has intense schizophrenia and that Jim is A Beautiful Mind-esque hallucination like Ed Harris or that blonde British guy.  Margo has to send both her and the fawn to farms upstate.   

Huh?

Marriages all around! I guess after years of refused proposals and broken engagements, Margaret Shulock was like "can't we just one time have an actual wedding??" Because I mean no offense Tommie, but obviously James Clifton Alesworth is just looking for a green card, and even though you're desperate enough to go through with it, Margo's going to talk you out of it.

Exhibit A

Happy New Year to all!  And while we were gone that interminable Lu Ann storyline wrapped itself up nicely.

It seems the venerable Harrod's makes Lu Ann look like a sad largemouth bass.  Was it a relationship gone sour with Dodi Al Fayed or because they stopped selling Lady Frumpington brand white turtleneck dickies?  I'll bet it was the dickies.

Thanksgiving Recap

Thursday, November 28th

"There's plenty of room now that I finally sold that other girl's stuff on Craigslist.  You remember her, right...the red head?  What was her name again...Tina? Terri?"

Friday, November 29th

 

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm probably going to leave some drool marks on this overstuffed, kelly green futon.  If I start screaming, don't be alarmed.  It's just my night terrors, and the doctors say I haven't sleep-murdered anyone for months."

Saturday, November 30th

Maybe Mrs. Ward is just a little bit angry at the world that she's had to go through life with her wrist attached directly to her shoulder.  It definitely makes it hard to reach the receiver to her ear. 

A Picture

Well loyal readers, I'm conflicted.  As much as we all mocked the peter pan collared, belted, blush prairie dress, I'm kind of sad that isn't what Lu Ann wore.  If Lu Ann is going to start dressing in age  and decade appropriate attire, I don't know if I'm ready to live in that world.

Handsomest Governor

WELP I hope you know better by now that to have anything interesting directly revealed to you. Instead of whatever compromising position Cole's in, enjoy a scene of the Governor with his mother!

Wait a second, Gov Trog and Lu Ann didn't even come to the ball together? He had to have his MOM drive him? And now she's insisting to hang out with him and meet his friends?? MO-OM, you are so EMBARRASSING!

Actually what's really embarrassing is that in these two panels, Mother of Trog already looks more stylish than fashion icon Zoey Ziggler AND Governor of New York Peter Russo. Seriously, I think this is the first time I've seen a woman in this strip with an appropriate hair style.

The Many Faces of Zoey Ziggler

 

I think we'd all feel a lot better if you just ran away Lu Ann.  Then we could see who Margo is eviscerating/how many Italian bambinos Tommie has delivered while on her Roman holiday.  Now quit your whining and put on that lovely pink prairie-chic gown so that we can wrap this up.