Thursday, October 31, 2013
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess "a little messy with soft waves" means "exactly how it looks all the time, including right now."
So can the Governor's Ball turn out to really be a Halloween party? Because then Lu Ann might actually fit in! "I'm dressed as an old comic artist's idea of a sexy, modern Manhattanite. Boo!"
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
I think we'd all feel a lot better if you just ran away Lu Ann. Then we could see who Margo is eviscerating/how many Italian bambinos Tommie has delivered while on her Roman holiday. Now quit your whining and put on that lovely pink prairie-chic gown so that we can wrap this up.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
"Sure, why not, it's not like you'll actually need the note because I'm totally running off with your $500 and taking Lick with me. How about I leave a note saying I'm with you, and when I disappear you and your addict father become the center of a national media frenzy? Also, you can tell I'm No Good because of how I'm waving these cigarettes in the air. Cigarettes!"
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Yes Marty, you do need a passport to enter Canada. Although the U.S.-Canadian border is the longest unguarded border in the world. Just a little bit of extra knowledge for our loyal readers.
I'm sure it's just as easy to sneak into Canada as it is to smuggle cheap government-subsidized pharmaceuticals out of it. Sounds like Tori has a solid, unnecessarily secret plan. Unless she's just trying to lure Marty into forking over the $500 so that she and Lick can go have a romantic weekend in Niagara Falls.
Monday, October 21, 2013
I can't tell by the drapes, but I hope they're talking about this at Tori's house, because we all know the walls in Marty's apartment are paper thin and Cole could be listening in on this conversation as we speak.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Oh Jason, you just got c@?k-blocked hard by Marty. Or maybe Tori just isn't that into guys that look like medieval monks. I also don't understand how Jason gets what Tori is talking about, because I have no idea. How does planning to become teenage runaways qualify as girl time? Are they going to braid each others hair? Are they going to have this conversation at Claire's in the mall? Maybe Friar Tuck doesn't understand, but Tori's radiant wink has hypnotized him into calm submission.
Friday, October 18, 2013
$500 in cash is such a weird number to have on hand! More than enough for going to the laundromat, but surely not enough to handle business during the zombie apocalypse Cole must be anticipating. And I guess $500 is a lot of money to teens, but I mean, not THAT much, right? Are they planning on buying an XBox and holing up in a homeless shelter for a couple of days or something? Because that plan will probably work just as well as anything that actually happens here.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
I am not the only one who was skeptical about Maggie's selection of "Lick" as the possible name of Tori's boyfriend in her post yesterday, but now that I see him, it seems right on the nose. (And what a nose it is.) Other possible names: Flea, Roach, Ratface, Greaseball. Names we have now ruled out: Butch. The sad thing is, in A3G world, I expect Lick is supposed to be pretty cool. Look at how he tucks his sweatshirt into his jeans. Such a rebel.
I'm torn here, because I sort of feel bad for Marty and immediately hate Tori's boyfriend, but I really can't wait to see mini-Margo crush her. Is this going to become A3G: The Next Generation? We have Margo and Tommie, we just need mini-LuAnn.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
"We used to talk to each other over dinner...Remember? We made our plates one quarter veggies, one quarter fruit, one quarter cereal grains and one quarter mustard?!?!?! Just like the USDA and Michelle Obama recommend!* Now look at us, our fruit and veggie bowl is overflowing, the cereal is going stale! How do we get back to that place?!?!?!"
*Addendum: This asterisk represents this bloggers first real world encounter with the federal government shutdown. In attempting to verify the actual makeup of the new food
Monday, October 14, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
This whole saga seems to be aging Marty. She went from awkward tween to attitude-wielding young adult/the same age as Lu Ann. Marty's rage is segmenting her hair, it's only a matter of time before that front strand rises up in defiance. I really hope that Tori is outside the gallery, watching her protege in action and laughing maniacally.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Luckily it's not phasing Lu Ann in the least. Calling your dad a loser? Using his first name? The revelation that you know we've been feeding you a pack of lies, dirty rotten lies?? Yeah, well! Stuff happens. Come back to squiggle art!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
You can tell how much he loves you because he sent your art teacher to talk to you about your "feelings." He loves you so much that he finds talking about your feelings to be uncomfortable and would rather have no part in it.
I do like sassy Marty, and she's adding some more great comebacks to her repertoire on the heels of yesterday's "save it for someone who cares." "Get real" and "back off" are pretty 'tude-ish phrases too, I guess. Mostly though, I'm just worried that telling people to talk to her hand all the time has somehow caused her hand to become detached from her body.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
I'm disappointed though, I thought that scene between Cole and Lu Ann was going somewhere! Lu Ann with her shoes kicked off, Cole clearly staring at her butt, everyone getting delirious on cups of coffee—and then, Marty busting in, drunk and angry, to find them canoodling on the green cameo chair! Is something like that going to happen? Eventually?
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Maybe it's just the arched eyebrow, but Lu Ann has quite a mischevious look on her face in the final panel. Or maybe she just gets her jollies purely through meddling and Cole's parental ineptitude. And it's weird that she's thrown off her shoes, but is still carrying her purse around Cole's apartment.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
"I took a chance you'd be home because I do not own, nor have I ever heard of, a 'cell phone.'"
By the way, Lu Ann, if all you needed was coffee to perk you up, I'm sure there was a Starbucks on the way to the cemetary, so you could be all bright-eyed and awake for your boyfriend's traumatic experience. But good call on leaving him alone to go hang out with your "friend" at his place to drink his coffee. It better be really good coffee.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
And now ladies and gentlemen, the top ten things that Peter really wanted to say:
10) "Zoe didn't give you that outfit to wear to funerals..."
9) "Do you know that nerdy girl who is spray painting squiggles onto the fence and shouting your name? Is she...drunk?!?"
8) "I want to kiss you on your thick, flesh colored lips."
7) "John was secretly wielding all the power of the executive office of this state...I am a puppet and I don't know what to do now!"
6) "My tie is the same pattern as the interior of my car..."
5) "I killed John Calder..."
4) "Traditionally, lieutenant governors who die in office lie in state in a suburban park."
3) "I was at Zoe's late last night, and yada, yada, yada I'm really tired today..."
2) "How is it that I haven't met your third roommate?"
1) "I know we've only been on one date, but my internal polling...er I mean my heart is telling me that you're the one. Will you accept this box of radiant light and be my wife?"