Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Where Do I Start

Tuesday December 30, 2014

Wednesday December 31, 2014
I know you guys think this DOESN'T look like the Tribecca Grill, but come on! Look at that waiter! You're telling me that's not a four-star maître d'? You're telling me that's, what, some kind of used car salesman? Get outta town. Now, are we gonna talk or not?

Monday, December 29, 2014


So, during the time of this blog's unofficial winter holiday, it seems that all we've missed is Margo taking a nap. MERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

Now, back to the Tribeca Grill, which I have to say looks significantly more restaurant-like than the last time we visited. (other patrons! a chandelier! a guy carrying a tray that either has a glass or a candle on it!)

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Buck Stops Here

Talk to the hand, because the face has clocked out for the weekend.  I wonder why Sam is upset... Is it because Gabby has stopped having a relationship with the groom-to-be or because she has yet to completely obey the teachings of the cult of wedding superstitions he's been trying to indoctrinate her in?

I wonder if the bloggers were good enough this year for Santa to bring us either an actual storyline or a swift end to whatever this is.  I'd settle for Sam being a hilarious incidental character.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Long Week

In case you missed Saturday's strip, it was basically Martin telling Gabriella, "Margo loves you so much and she'll always make time for you and she's really committed to planning this wedding!" So any upcoming strips involving Sam the de facto wedding planner are sure to be delightful... unlike the tragic plot twist that every woman in the strip except Margo and Tommie is forced to have a shoulder-length flip hairdo, dyed either jet black or canary yellow.

Friday, December 19, 2014


Uhh, Martin? You don't even know what faith your fiance belongs to? This does not bode well... Maybe it's time for you to have some conversations with your future wife.

That said, I think a more likely conclusion to this story than "Martin opens his mind and accepts Gabriella even if he doesn't agree with her" is "Gabriella is flimflammed by a fortune teller and Martin has to save her somehow and wasn't Gabriella silly." And even though that would be stupid and diminutive, it would kind of be worth it to see a flimflammer. This strip hasn't had an antagonist since Tori, and she was awwwwwwesommmmme!

Thursday, December 18, 2014


"I'll do whatever you want, unless you want me to respect you. That's who I am - a man who can't respect your silly belief system. I can't change who I am, so could you please just change who you are?"

This seems like a healthy relationship to me. Definitely get married.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014


Oh, Gabby Wabby! You know I wuv you the most, wight? And I love it that you have beliefs and everything! Except, why can't they be my beliefs? Can you do that for me, Gabby? Can you just put away your silly beliefs in tarot and voodoo and be more like every other white person in this strip? And when I say "white person," I mean "person."

To be fair, Gabriella, I don't think there's anyone in this strip who's encountered your superstitious ways and not scoffed in disdain or rolled their eyes or laughed in your face. So this can't really be coming out of nowhere.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

One Reason

Poor Martin, through all the stress of Gabriella's emotional distance and having his sordid past revealed to Lu Ann and Margo by Telly Savalas, he forgot to pick up more Just For Men.  I'm sure that there is a Duane Reade near the Towers, Martin!  It will make you feel so much better.  And Keith Hernandez has assured me that it will help you with your lady wooing.

Monday, December 15, 2014

On the City Streets

Gabriella! Gabby! Gabbs! Gabsolutely Fabulous! Great to see you after all this time! Has it been two years, or just a year and ten months? Well, WHO'S COUNTING ANYWAY, sister friend! So glad you've started dying your hair back to your original hue. Unfortunately, it hasn't succeeded in making you look any younger. In fact, it kind of makes you look like a brunette Carol Collins. Not that that's a bad thing—clearly Martin can't take his eyes off you[r neck]!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Totally Wrong

I got no time for the jibber jabber with this strip, just wanted to make sure it's in the archives in case I ever have to reference the day that Margo and Martin's burgeoning father-daughter love blossomed into a full-on tender hug-a-thon (while Lu Ann awkwardly tries to keep the conversation going).

Friday, December 12, 2014

No Big Deal

No joke, I've spent about a half hour trying to come up with an appropriate reference for who Lu Ann looks like in this in that last panel. Shelley Winters? Too much hair. Vivian Vance? Same. Loni Anderson? No. Loni Anderson never looked as old as Lu Ann does right here. Any ideas?

Anyway, she's obviously secondary in this scene as Martin and Margo bask in their newly found daughter-father love. Lu Ann, the fire escape is still a viable option if you want to get out and avoid the lobby with Mr. Six Flags, as Downpuppy delightfully dubbed him.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Martin's Past

Um, I don't want to alarm anyone, but Martin may be having a stroke in the second panel.  Someone should see if Tommie is working doubles back at the hospital.  Either that or he's got the panic bobbles that overcome any man when Margo declares her love for him.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Bad Reputation

 Tuesday December 9, 2014

Wednesday December 10, 2014
No no, I get it, it is important, I'm just saying! If you don't want to cheerfully divulge the circumstances of your broken household in the blandest, most nondescript way possible, that's fine. I'm cool. In fact, I thought I was leaving? I'll just take the fire escape to avoid the whole "lobby" thing. No worries! Don't mind little old me!

Monday, December 8, 2014


Yup, when Gabriella kicked me out of the house, I decided to return to the hotel where I used to conduct all of my sexual escapades. It's not like I came here because on check-in the concierge knows to send up "the usual." I just like the restaurant here! I have a table! Leave me alone!! Oh, and send up the other blond in the lobby, will you?

Here's a link to The Towers, by the way: I'm sure Martin has the Champagne suite.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Smug Creatures

As the great Liz Lemon would say "Another successful interaction with a man!" Was Yul Brynner smug?  It just seemed like he worked at the hotel and was trying to offer some exceptional customer service.   And you cut him off before he could serenade you with "A Puzzlement."  It's his best number. 

Friday, December 5, 2014


Thursday December 4, 2014

Friday December 5, 2014
Oh, I see. You're with Mr. Magee. I understand. He sure does have a thing for ladies in turtlenecks.

I guess that can be interpreted as presumptuous, but in Mr. Clean's defense, his expression hasn't changed at all.

No clue how old this guy is supposed to be, but if Lu Ann dates someone without hair I'll eat my hat, so I guess he's just supposed to be a random grody bellhop or something.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Stretch My Legs

Wh—LU ANN! What are you doing here?? Oh yeah, you were "invited" and I guess just sneaking around off-panel. Never mind, you're already so bored that you're excusing yourself from the room, so that when no one draws you it'll be normal again. Welp, really glad you stopped by so that we could stretch this conversation for another strip. Okay, byyye!

Now, back to the converesation! I'm excited by all this talking for once. I think what's going to happen is that Gabriella is being possessed by a "espíritu maligno," like the one she knew was possessing Lu Ann that one time! And the spirit is making her act all crazy and order people around and I guess forcing Martin out of the apartment. And to try to suppress it, Gabriella is denying her cultural heritage and hiding her accent and, I don't know, probably not wearing those hoop earrings anymore. IT ALL MAKES SENSE! Oh boy. I can't wait. This is gold, Jerry... GOLD!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Homeless at the Tower


Oh, I don't know...maybe the underling whom you delegated the wedding planning to?  I think his name was  Scott?  Or close!  He could be very traditional and insist that Gabriella not live with her future husband, but instead cloister herself with her hand maidens while her father or male relative negotiates the dowry.

Monday, December 1, 2014

At the Towers...

I'm not even going to review the week of strips I missed while I was off being thankful and cooking this bad boy:

I'm not reviewing in part because it will dishearten me so to find that nothing happened and plus it's probably just more interesting to fill in the blanks myself. So let's see, after four missed strips, what's going down:

What happened to single ladies lunch with Lu Ann?? Let me guess.

Margo and Martin are meeting at his room at the exquisitely luxurious Towers Hotel Co. He arranged for a room here after Gabriella kicked him out of his own home for defying her wedding plans. When Martin observed that "releasing doves after the ceremony seems a little much, but releasing bald eagles is completely out of the question," Gabriella flew into a newly WASP-y rage: gin, icy silence, and changing the locks. Now, exiled by a fiance who won't even pick up his calls when her phone tootles, he's summoned his daughter to console him as he stares at the Towers' elegantly austere walls and wonders, "What's wrong with Gabriella?" Margo nods sympathetically, all the while her brain working feverishly to devise an escape.

Meanwhile, walking home after being ditched by Margo, Lu Ann twists her ankle while crossing the street. She falls to the pavement, immobile! Oh no! Luckily, she's immediately scooped up and out of traffic by a "hunky" fireman. Arms wrapped around his neck, she finds herself lost in his flat cyan eyes (just like hers!) and silky yellow hair (just like hers!). Before she can even ask his name, he puts her down on the sidewalk and melts back into the crowd. The only thing she knows about him is that he works at Manhattan Fire Department Co., New York's premiere fire fighters. Will she immediately reneg on her vow not to date to follow her heart?

MEANWHILE AGAIN! Tommie eats a bowl of cereal and reflects on her failed singing career. Her time with Lily inspired her to nurse again, but it also reminded her of her longing to sing in an Appalachian country band. She even wrote a concept album based on the plight of a orphaned fawn, "Bleating for Life." But she's too scared to show anyone her lyrics! What will become of her?

Anyway. Just a guess that's what I missed. Could be wrong.