Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Go Home and Relax

I like how Dr. Bluesuit is staring right at Lu Ann's triangle of flesh as she's talking about taking her dress off. NICE, DOC. The kid is only traumatized in the background from the thought of leaving her dying father, but no, by all means, you two get all excited at the thought of slipping into something more comfortable. Marty can always just... call the service. Whatever that means.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Talking in Circles

"Marty, your dad is suffering some complications from what I'm calling "medical cliche-itis."  His condition can only be described by using banal phrases that give the listener no indication as to his actual physical state.  I'll be blunt...He's between a rock and a hard place with his back to the wall, but he's strong as an ox and stubborn as a mule.  We're gonna have to wait for the dust to settle before we know where we stand."

Monday, November 25, 2013

Thanks, NURSE

Man, see, this is where I really miss Tommie. It could've been her delivering this expository dialogue, instead of this anonymous Nurse Rachet stand-in. Think of how much that would've added to the plot!

P.S. According to Wikipedia, "nurses' caps can still be found in many developing nations."

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Ball Drop

Let us all mourn the loss of Peter's mom's "appropriate for a modern woman of her age" hairstyle.  It had a good run.  It's gone to the same mythical land as Gabriella's ethnicity and Tommie.  Now she's just a generic matron serving as a dumb foil for an exposition of all the reasons that Peter and Lu Ann were star crossed.  I wonder how that brain surgery is going?

Friday, November 22, 2013

Doctor Bentley

Your dad and I talked a lot, and as it turns out, he doesn't even like his tumor. I don't even know why he got it in the first place! Ha ha. So anyway, funny thing... my name is Doctor, but I'm actually a used car salesman.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Pretty Awesome

Wednesday, November 20

"And frankly, I do say so myself, because I'm the only one who will say it. All those malpractice lawsuits I'm facing for telling my patients not to call 911 have really taken a toll on my reputation!"

Thursday, November 21

"Well, the surgery he needs will require $500 upfront."*

*I know this isn't a thing that happens, but maybe in the world of A3G, it is. Imagine the look on Marty's face!**

**I am a terrible person.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Emergency Response

1) I love Lu Ann's look of utter disinterest in the first panel.  "I left the Governor's Ball mid-proposal for this and you haven't even called 911!"

2) Why would Cole insist on such a terrible and poorly prepared emergency response plan?  Or was Marty just too busy with Tori and Lick to pick up the salient details? 

Cole: "Marty, it's very important that you follow the instructions that I am about to give you.  If I should ever have a seizure, immediately call Dr. B...."
Marty: "NOT NOW, Cole!  Tori is coming over so that we can smoke vodka.  Why don't you save it for your girlfriend?"

3) Why would you follow your father's wishes by not calling 911 only to go against them by calling Lu Ann?
4) Guess the Canadian province that Tori and Lick are in...Nunavut?...Ontario?

Monday, November 18, 2013

He Just Stares at Me

Oh jeez. How long has he been having a seizure now?? I'm guessing we skipped the panel where Marty opened the door and Lu Ann gave her a big comforting hug. Hopefully we also skipped the panel where the EMTs called to apologize to Marty for being so late. This city and its first responders!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Deep Questions

I have to give Frank some props for Lu Ann's face in the second panel in response to Peter's ill-timed psychoanalysis.  The bemusement, the backwards glance betraying her reluctance to answer/complete inability to fathom Peter's question.  Although if I was looking for a woman with insight into what's wrong with me, I would call Margo.  She wouldn't mince words.

Friday, November 15, 2013

No, Peter.

Peter, how many times do I have to reject you? It's nice that you want to help, but it's not like your title and position would help Cole get the immediate attention he obviously needs. Stay and have a nice time at your little Ball, and don't let this little problem spoil your evening/political future.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


While I understand the gravity of the situation Marty is involved in, I'm not sure that Lu Ann's response is the most sensitive. Then again, I guess if you have proposals constantly flung at you, you become a little jaded. "I know Peter, and the guy at the grocery store yesterday asked me the same question, so let's not pretend that this little charade is in any way important." Though I suppose he got his answer.

But really, my favorite part of this strip is that the band just goes ahead and strikes up a happy tune. Got to keep the party going, let's forget the governor's public humiliation and the distressed woman telling someone on the phone to call 911. We're here to dance!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Have to Take This Call

 I don't even know what to say about this! It's so ridiculous that I'm beyond quips. I could suspend my disbelief and think that a guy in a blue tuxedo could be the Governor of New York even if he spends all his time in NYC instead of Albany, and that while in office he might try to pick up the blandest trophy wife imaginable, despite her being unfashionable, emotionally distant, careless about silencing her phone, and dumb enough to think that an empanada is a purse. But to believe that ANYONE in ANY UNIVERSE is going claim they need to take a call FROM A STUDENT exactly ONE SECOND AFTER BEING PROPOSED TO in front of a LIVE AUDIENCE.... is a step too far.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


Ouch.  The guy who's about to propose to you in front of a live studio audience calls you his "dearest friend."  Oh wait, I forgot, this is A3G...I guess by those standards it is the most touching tribute that a soon to be ex-fiancee can offer his beloved.  Now cover your eyes...we can't turn back, and those snowflakes and musical notes look extremely pointy.

Monday, November 11, 2013

You're Scaring Me

Peter draws Lu Ann close and... Lu Ann wriggles away somehow! As Ken alluded to in the comments yesterday, there appear to be several parallels to the doomed Linski group proposal, but I think Lu Ann is wise to it this time and she's trying to cut him off preemptively. I mean, guys: would you propose to your special someone if they said, "You're scaring me" every time you tried to be intimate?

Sunday, November 10, 2013

A Picture

Well loyal readers, I'm conflicted.  As much as we all mocked the peter pan collared, belted, blush prairie dress, I'm kind of sad that isn't what Lu Ann wore.  If Lu Ann is going to start dressing in age  and decade appropriate attire, I don't know if I'm ready to live in that world.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Handsomest Governor

WELP I hope you know better by now that to have anything interesting directly revealed to you. Instead of whatever compromising position Cole's in, enjoy a scene of the Governor with his mother!

Wait a second, Gov Trog and Lu Ann didn't even come to the ball together? He had to have his MOM drive him? And now she's insisting to hang out with him and meet his friends?? MO-OM, you are so EMBARRASSING!

Actually what's really embarrassing is that in these two panels, Mother of Trog already looks more stylish than fashion icon Zoey Ziggler AND Governor of New York Peter Russo. Seriously, I think this is the first time I've seen a woman in this strip with an appropriate hair style.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Mystery Door

It's time to play "What's Behind That Door?"

Could it be...
Cole lying in bed... lifeless?
Cole lying in bed... with Lu Ann?
Cole lying in bed... with Lu Ann and some guy in clown makeup...?
Cole eating the world's largest ice cream sundae, and he didn't tell Marty about it, that pig?!

I know the whole lifeless (or almost-lifeless) body thing is the most likely, but I'm really rooting for the giant ice cream sundae. What do you guys think Marty sees in Cole's room?

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Stupid Games

Marty! MARTY!! Your knocking would be more effective if you weren't simply punching the door, or kind of wiping you knuckles across it. But I guess it doesn't really matter since Cole is unconscious anyway. Way to ruin everything, DAD!

Internal Dialogue

Can one get busted for talking?  Is the A3G New York a hypervigilant police state where even the smallest violations of social mores are punishable and draconian laws instill a fear of consequence in the population?  I would think that Marty would be more concerned about the palsy that afflicts her of late than whether Tori is ten minutes late for their running away from home rendezvous.  She's probably just picking up a pack of Camels for the road...

Monday, November 4, 2013

Ruin Everything

Marty... I don't even totally get why it's important to you that Cole be awake, but instead of standing around and shaking your fist dramatically and waiting for him to wake up, you could go and umm just wake him up yourself? Jeez! Maybe this is meant as an insightful, searing criticism of today's youth. Ouch!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

He Must Live

"I want him to stay alive and suffer through every painful twitch of that grand mal seizure, all the while remembering how I wasn't there to remember his medication, and won't be there ever again because I've started a new life in Canada, the land of dreams.  When he comes to and looks onto the vapid face of Lu Ann, I want him to ache with regret at choosing her over me, and know that she will never be able to completely take care of him.  But I don't want him to die."

Friday, November 1, 2013

After Six

That's thoughtful of Marty, waking up her dad for therapy, although it will be kind of a bummer if he sees the note she left him about becoming a teenage runaway before she even leaves. Which reminds me, jeez, what a terrible plan. I wonder how close Tori and Lick are to the Canadian border by now.