Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Something Special

Phew! Thank god this whole mismatched hair color thing has been sorted out. When Margo was praying to Saint Bosc, Our Lady of Pomes, she must've been asking for a man for Tommie with suitable hair, so that he wouldn't have to go down in a fiery blaze immediately.

Unfortunately, Professor Chaperone is creeping around the barn to break things up. I hope he brought a change of clothes for Tommie.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The One Where Lu Ann Has A Brilliant Idea

If Margo Magee is concerned about your absence/concerned that she will be forced to subsist only on pears, she will gladly pawn off your search and rescue to the next somewhat intelligent person she can find.  She's got a gallery agency to run and public relations doesn't care if your roommate joined a beastiality cult upstate.  I hope you didn't have a prestigious lecture planned, Professor.  You're going to Happiness Falls.

Monday, April 28, 2014

By Force If Needed

Is it more surprising that an urban millennial (I guess?) subscribes to a daily newspaper, or that Lu Ann is reading? Discuss.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Hard Work

"You smell.  Not like horse manure, but more the stale body odor from wearing the same turtleneck for weeks.  It's starting to confuse and excite the animals.  The bathing pond is out back..."

Friday, April 25, 2014

Mucking Out

Whuh oh! Looks like someone instantly regrets their decision to accept a nondescript job with a nondescript salary and substandard nondescript benefits. Although I really do believe in the cathartic power of mindless labor. And I really am enjoying the heights of absurdity we're reaching here.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Oh, It Sounds Crazy, All Right!

Tommie is supposed to be the smart, sensible one, right? Just checking.

P.S. Margo may or may not inspire me to update the banner... To tell you the truth, I almost updated it to last week's instant classic "Everyone in this town knows you've got a fawn in your car." But I think Margo's will age better.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Not Coming Home

It's always Tommie's night to cook.  As the Alpha Roommate, Margo delegates all chores to the  underlings.  And Lu Ann isn't allowed to use any cooking implement stronger than an Easy Bake Oven.  But Margo is not dropping $75 on a sack of take-out tonight, so you best get yourself home and heat her up a frozen pizza.

What do we think Tommie is looking at in the last panel?  Is Dr. Jack trying to mate Lily with his aggressive colt?  Has Lily, who has grown comfortable with the confined spaces of a Manhattan apartment/Packard/sleazy motel, had an agoraphobic freak out on Dr. Jack?


Monday, April 21, 2014

Too Tired

Well you could've at least texted! ...well, maybe not.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Work Will Set You Free

Oh, Jack.  It's probably not a great idea to employ a veterinary assistant with no animal medicine qualifications and who locks her orphan fawn in the car without even cracking the window!  Also, if you're looking for someone with a strong work ethic, Tommie hasn't reported to work in over a year.  Seems like a solid plan.

Friday, April 18, 2014

That's Crazy, Jack!

There are about a hundred million things going on in New York City, and Tommie has to drive to Pittsburgh and upstate New York to find a plotline??

Well they can keep her. Tommie is not doing her part as an A3G lady.

She flies in to New York after months in Europe, immediately drives out to PA, snags a deer, drives back, never even gives her roommates a chance to get a discount at Harrod's before her fiance mysteriously disappears, and then packs up the little Lyme's disease machine for Happiness Falls? Where she's definitely going to take this job because she's too weak-willed not to? And plus I think she got fired before?

If I was Margo, I'd change the locks and use her room as a closet at this point.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Not Interested

I'm sorry for being dismissive, presumptuous, and rude before, Jack. Oh, you have a proposition? I don't want to hear it, I'm sure it's terrible, and I hope you die in a fire.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Everyone in This Town Knows You've Got a Fawn in Your Car

Gosh, Happiness Falls isn't like New York City at all! In New York City, you can stow a deer in your apartment for weeks, even months without people noticing. Here, you leave one lousy fawn in your car overnight, who bleats like a goat for nine measly hours, and suddenly everyone's talking about you.

Um. But seriously, this is a little weird. He thinks Tommie's cute?

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Stranger Danger

There are several possibilities for how Dr. Jack Riley, Large Animal Vet found Tommie after she left town with Lily in tow:

1) The motel is actually a part of Dr. Jack's farm, and he keeps those rooms occupied by luring people to Happiness Falls with the promise of a sanctuary for their large exotic animals.   Then, just as night is about to fall, he insults them for thwarting mother nature's grand design, and they storm off into the night and stop at first motel they happen upon.
2) Happiness Falls is populated by only Jack Riley, his colt and that busybody from the town hall, and the three of them take turns running all the local establishments.
3) The motel was a mirage and Lily and Tommie really just spent the night hiding out in someone's shed.

Monday, April 14, 2014


No issues with the deer at the motel? None?? Man. This girl-deer buddy film has disappointed in a big way. A BIG way! I can only hope that Tommie was so distracted by her burgeoning feelings for Doc Jack that she left Lily in the car all night, and then Lily kicked her way out the backseat window and escaped.

Also, this is the most rustic motel I've ever seen. Lu Ann should paint it.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn

All I could think of when I saw this strip was Lily in the shower when suddenly, the curtain gets pulled back and she sees Norman Bates as "Mother".  Cue the music and bleats of terror.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Losing Control

Thursday April 10, 2014
Uh, whoa, didn't hear the good doctor mention the E word, he's just a proponent for putting wild animals back in the wild. Because no one wants them for pets. Because they're not very good pets. And super annoying. Sound like someone you know, Tommie? Someone named, you?

Friday April 11, 2014
Okay, whatever, I'm fine with this because NOW, things are going to get zany! Lily's going to pee on something, or fly through the windshield because she forgot to buckle her seatbelt, or SOMETHING, and Tommie will be forced to come crawling back to Dr. I-already-forgot-his-name. Paul Linski?

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

You've Done a Stupid Thing

We've been talking about The Bridges of Madison County, but actually this reminds me more of those Japanese dating simulations where the game is to get through an entire meal without pissing off your date. And Dr. Jack Riley has picked all the wrong answers.

Good news is: if Tommie actually follows through with her threat (HA HA of course she won't, she'll fold like a pair of threes) that means MORE HILARIOUS ANTICS with Tommie and Lily on the road! Where will they go next? Buffalo? Montpelier? Niagara Falls?

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Survival of The Fittest

The argument is getting hot, so Tommie's turtleneck rises up in defense of her jugular.  And Jack's shirt buttons itself reflexively.  Unfortuntely, being raised by Margo in the unnatural environment of Apartment 3G, Tommie too is a helpless freak.  She doesn't stand a chance out here in Happiness Falls.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Same Story

Well actually, the weird thing is that she hasn't become a problem at all! She's been a dream deer. No pooping, no eating, no trashing the upholstery with her small, sharp hooves. No one's gotten Lyme's disease or even fleas. She takes quick showers. She cooks dinner twice a week. She's great! But I just know I'll lock her in her sleeping closet one day and forget her until six months later, when I open the closet and a tiny deer skeleton pops out.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Dead in the Road

Jack Riley is a large animal vet with a healthy respect for the cruel whims of fate.  Nature, not nuture, is his motto.  If you see a majestic creature suffering in the wild, don't rescue it/humanely end it's suffering, just walk away.  Let the suffering take it's natural course and revel in it. 

Friday, April 4, 2014

Everybody Needs Something

AN HOUR LATER?? Tommie "helped Jack with the colt" (whatever that means) for AN HOUR before even bringing up why you're here?? My god, Tommie, you idiot, Lily's not hungry, she just ATE THE ENTIRE CAR to aid her escape! You're free now, Lily! Run into the forest! Flee this world of humans! Or dash into the middle of the road and immediately get hit by a car, eh, whatever.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Jack and Tommie

I'm not sure if I'm hoping that second panel was an intentional double entendre, or really really praying that it wasn't. So I'm going to ignore it and move on.

You can tell Jack is a salty rough manly man, because he commands Tommie to call him Jack IN BOLD. On the other hand, you can tell he has a heart of gold, because look at that smile in the second panel.

Do you think Thelma Cobb blabbed to him about Tommie and that's how he knows her name? That old card Thelma. Of course, he knows it's her because she has a deer in her car and OH YEAH IT'S STILL IN THERE maybe the vet would like to get the poor thing out of that confined space and check it out.

Ah, Happiness Falls is so charming.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


Ah! Call back on the pigment-based nickname Jim used to use with Tommie! Although he was in the strip all of nine days, he called her "Red" like six times. I guess the takeaway here is folks just can't resist pointing out the color of her hair?

Anywho. Isn't it a little early for Tommie to be throwing Doc Riley the over-the-shoulder come-hither look? ....whilst wearing a turtleneck?

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Why The Long, Angry Face?

When I first saw this strip, I thought to myself "Hey, isn't this the exact same plot line as The Horse Whisperer?"  Full disclosure, I've never actually seen The Horse Whisperer, so I am basing my entire perception of the movie on faint recollections of the trailer in 1998.  Which I probably saw during episodes of Caroline In The City.  So I guess I thought that Kristen Scott Thomas had some sort of unfortunate life event/pixie cut tragedy, and she took her horse to see Robert Redford who healed both the horse and her heart.  Turns out I was pretty close.  The general "Human Tragedy + Animal Tragedy + Grizzled Animal Expert = Everyone Made Whole" motif is correct, but apparently Scarlett Johansson and her horse have some sort of tragic accident, K.S. Thomas is her mom and Robert Redford whispers.  Spoiler alert.