Girls' Homes Have Cooties

Aw, it almost breaks my cold heart. Lu Ann all doe-eyed, Ruby all.... well, I guess that's a tear coming from her eye. Oh my gosh reunion tiiiiimee! Or, perhaps, time for lots of exposition about how sad Lu Ann is not to have known her father, before he succumbed to the curse of the A3G male, and how this must be the cause of her problems with men. That, or we're about to be reintroduced to Mr. Kevin Linski.

Pretty Little Lu Ann

First of all, may I express my sincere delight at the appearance Crazy Janey! (she's troubled) I was just thinking about her! Every now and then, it's like Margaret Shulock and I are on the same wavelength. It's a little scary at times, as I'm sure it is for Margaret.

May I also admit that I am sincerely disturbed by Janey? The writing is good and creepy, but I also have to give some props to Frank Bolle on this one. Lu Ann getting chewed out over the phone for no good reason could've easily been hilarious (it still kinda is), but he made it into something warty, sweaty, and uncomfortable. Janey calling from a Zack Morris-style cell phone adds to the pathos.

That said, I read A3G for the laffs, not the pathos. I hope Janey takes a page from the Bobbie Merrill playbook and starts pilling up and shaking all about. Ah Bobbie, I miss ya.

Family Ties

Technically, the trip would be to Hoboken, which I imagine has cheaper hotel rates than Manhattan. Did you even check Priceline.com? William Shatner has led me to believe that whatever you want to pay for a trip is what it costs!

What on earth could have possibly happened between Lu Ann and her family? All the "drama" in this strip is so milquetoast that it's probably something super lame that we'll build up to until early 2012, when it will collapse like a bad souffle. Are they jealous of her golden locks and unaged complexion?

Well I Am Sure Happy, Janey

Holy crap holy crap! I feel like I hit the jackpot here, but I have no idea how to spend money so I'm just going to blow it all in one place and say something stupid like OMG LU ANN'S SISTER IS A HIDEOUS WITCH. And may actually be a witch, since she is somehow able to make Lu Ann's phone ring more insistently than I've seen a phone ring in this strip.

I feel guilty getting this strip, because I'm so ADD that I can't tell whether to focus on the sister, or that Lu Ann is suddenly a mannequin in the second panel.... or what. I mean, did her sister age in real time while the rest of this strip was stuck in place?

OK, I am going to open this up for a free-for-all so everyone else can have fun with it too. Some suggested sentence starters: "Janey is as ugly as a...." or "Janey has as many warts as..." or maybe "Lu Ann looks like she's had something stuck up her..."

You'll Love David's Bridal

Friday November 4, 2011

Sugar, are you trying to tell me that Paul is a weird Oedipal oaf and deep down you think you're making a huge mistake marrying him? ...No? You're just worried about the dress? Whoops, sorry! Did that come off as TERRIBLE AND BITCHY? You know us Texas ladies, not a thread of tact strung up in our magenta hair.

Saturday November 5, 2011

I though Lu Ann's mom was institutionalized or something crazy like that, but I think actually Lu Ann's sister was institutionalized (or something) and Mrs. Lu Ann is taking care of her. Or something. Here's the only strip I could find about it, back when Lu Ann was hanging out with her pops up in South Dakota. Funny she didn't want to spend more time out there!

March 2, 2009

Oh, Daddy!

Huh. Some serious bonding must've occurred between this slap in the face turned back-handed compliment and today, because Lu Ann is suddenly all about her pops. With Margo off travelling the world with her once-estranged pappy, I guess this is the Summer of Father-Daughter Reciliation. Hey, have we ever seen Tommie's dad? I... I bet she's an orphan or something. Does anyone know?

I was hoping we'd get a big family reunion going before she left, but there's still hope: Lu Ann promises she'll be back... THANK GOD. I just can't get enough of South Dakota!

Not the Young Steers!

I guess Lu Ann's storyline is going to develop into a stirring vignette on the struggles of the young-steer industry and its devastating repercussions on South Dakota commerce, including hard workers like Lu Ann's pappy, but... I'd rather see Lu Ann throw up her hands and go back to New York. Don't you miss it Lu Ann? The city of ghosts and duplicitous boyfriends?

Big Brother is Watching You

I guess we're not going to see Nora's tearful confession that she might still be married. It was bound to be awkward. Oh well.

Okay, there are two ways you can read the thought balloon in panel one.

1. Two unrelated thoughts. Eric's not in the paper, and Margo is in India.
2. Eric Mills has become an an overnight celebrity whose story, as it unfolds, is considered worthy of daily news coverage, and Margo is raising such hell on the local media that they've agreed to keep Eric out of the news.

Either way, today we see another newspaper? GET AN iPHONE, YA HIPPIE! Jeez! I'm making a tag for newspapers so we can track this printed media madness.