Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Waiting Game

So I thought that I could beat out Maggie in a waiting game by not posting on Saturday, but she beat me by not posting yesterday.  Touché, Mags, touché.

Friday, July 27th

Is it really necessary to have a door bell with five rings?  Especially when no one visits you and it's only used by your long forgotten third roommate.  Also, did Margo become Stretch Armstrong in the second panel?

Saturday, July 28th

That is the most laconic trip recount of a five-month road trip with the woman who you always thought was your aunt but turned out to be your mother and you were going to visit the people who you always knew as your parents/siblings but now are your aunts/uncles/cousins.  No funny trip stories?  "Ruby took a joke photograph at Mount Rushmore where it looks like she's picking George Washington's nose!"  How about "We had really great weather!"  Anything?  Oh well, back to Tommie/Margo.

Monday, July 30th

Are you Rick?  You look just like my roommate's ex-fiance Paul Linski.  Even down to the white shirt! I hope I didn't interrupt you supervising these guys working on supercomputers, but I have an ANNOUNCEMENT...for tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 31st

Come on Rick, we all knew there would be a but.  Mild mannered nurse/midwife Tommie Thompson throws away a stable middle class life for fame and fortune with Rick and DJ Dan Diller?  I spin babies now, not records.  I hope Aunt Iris can get a good price for that piano on eBay.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Brace Yourself

I just really love the art in this strip sometimes. I really do. Look at Margo in that first panel! Look how high her hands are! And then she's posing like RuPaul's Drag Race all of the sudden. Love it. Love me some Margo Magee.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Good Graces

Long ago, Margo cast a dark spell on her roommates so when they try her patented "point and yell" method of communication, their thumbs twist off. After years of goading them, one of them has dared point a finger at her. Finally, Margo thought to herself. It was all worth it. The slow knife.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


It melted away!  Like the laws of time, which made three weeks of labor only a single day!  Like Frank Bolle's desire and ability to draw the correct number of fingers on a human hand!

It did seem like Nina got over that whole "Scott making out with Margo" thing rather quickly.  Maybe Nina's just an enlightened soul.  Who wouldn't forgive the world's best publicist?  Move over Suri Cruise!  Abigail Ann Gaines is the new IT BABY!  For all inquiries about her play times, please contact Margo Magee.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Long Story

Uh oh, Tommie. The World's Best Publicist is NOT going to be pleased that you let those husband-wife reconciliatory smooches go undocumented! No fear, Margo: you can still parlay this into a celebrity endorsement opportunity. Nina could be the new poster child (poster mother?) for baby spinning. Get over there with a camera crew and get that endorsement. This is going viral!

Saturday, July 21, 2012


Abigail is a fairly common name, Scott, no need to question it.  It's actually #11 for girls in 2012: http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?year=2012

But it's just to set up Tommie for the "What? Little old me?  I'm so flattered..." routine, while she was skulking in the shadows.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Pass the Baby

Someone's going to have to teach these people how to hold a baby. Unfortunately, Tommie snuck down the fire escape. You're on your own, folks. Hope you still have those books.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Fred Enters

Boy, it's like Fred walked in and sucked all the interesting out of the story. I can't believe I'm saying this, but where did Tommie nip off to? Once the baby is outside of Nina's body she's pretty much done, huh?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Post Partum

Yea, but she's still going to need those towels to mop up the afterbirth.  I hope that beanbag chair is machine washable!  I think we're about due for Margo to put this birth announcement in the rumor mill!

As for the name, I'm going with either Nina's mother's name or we never get a name and jump directly into another storyline.  

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Tiny Miracle

WHOA WHOA WHOA I guess once you've got the baby in position and you're fully dialated, the baby pretty much just shoots out of you and you're done. So YAYYYYYY! Great job everybody! Now we can move on and forget about the Gaines, just as they've already forgotten about their baby. I mean, once we've cleaned up the placenta.

Before we banish the Gaines to their off-screen domestic bliss, a quick poll: what do you think they're going to name the baby? Some obvious contenders:
  • Tommie (best midwife eva)
  • Margo (best publicist eva)
  • Nina's mother's name ("this one's for you, mama!")
  • Nina Jr.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Why Can't Nina Figure Out What's Going On

Wow.  Just...wow.  "Hmm, I wonder what happens now?  Do we get to go out for dinner and drinks on the town?"  No, now we deliver your baby in your unsterile living room, while we ignore the rational and safe decision of going to a hospital.  But I did bring these gloves that were left over from my jazz dance class just to try and keep things clean.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Can't Go On

Now, I don't pretend to be an authority on childbirth or anything, but... you can't just stop and give up halfway through having a baby, right? I mean, the baby's not going to be cool with that. Is this why Nina wanted Tommie instead of paramedics? Because she thought the paramedics would force her to have the baby no matter what, but maybe--just maybe--she could boss Tommie into letting her... stop... having it!? You know, if she got super tired??

Nina: I need this to be over now, Tommie. I can't go on!
Tommie: Come on, Nina. You're tough! Just like my Wrangler leather jacket! See?
Nina: Nope! Pretty sure I'm gonna give up!
Tommie: Okay, we gave it a shot. (speaking directly to Nina's stomach) Sorry, we're packing it in for the night. You just took too long!
Nina: That'll teach it a lesson!
Tommie: Right! We'll give labor another shot in a couple of weeks.
Nina: Make it a month. July is booked solid for me.
Scott: So... no baby tonight? But we'll have it eventually, right? You want me to make you nachos, sweetie?
Nina: GOD you're dumb!! But yes.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Good Girl

I can see that you're busy, but doing what, exactly? What position is she supposed to be in here?

To be fair, Tommie should choose her words more carefully if she doesn't want Nina to lash out. I doubt that Nina would agree that any contraction is "nice" and calling her a "good girl" might be a tad condescending. But what she lacks in bedside manner, she makes up for with a complete lack of experience.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Holy Hannah!

Hauling out insults, invoking Hannah Montana, and insinuating pregnancy yoga techniques while showing us absolutely nothing: this story has it all and I love it!! Everybody bobble now!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Natal Yoga

Scott does not seem like he's on board for the whole "help Nina contort herself so this baby finally comes out" plan.  I bet he's back there texting the proper medical authorities to get over to Gaines Manor ASAP.  

I wonder if there is a maternal positioning Twister mat?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Sweat the Technique

NINA!! Whether you should trust Tommie's non-expert advice or not, you've ensured that this is your only option, so just deal! God, this is all so annoying! The only thing pulling me through all this is Scott. I love his awkward expressions and his clumsy attempts to stay involved. Also love that he instantly reneged on his promise to Nina to "hold me tight and never let me go."

"You got it, sweetie! I'll never let go! Just gotta... check the back of the room... for dust bunnies. Then I'll loom over you and grin, just like we agreed to!"

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Promises, promises

I think the colorist may have fallen asleep in the second panel to due boredom at Nina's being in labor for approximately two weeks.  Am I the only one that thinks white shirts were a poor choice for home labor?  I hope Nina and Scott have a good dry cleaner/went to Costco and bought a metric ton of OxyClean.

Clearly, allowing your rookie midwife to practice a new technique on you, while shunning modern medical advances is the best and only option.  Tommie doesn't look worried at all.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Maternal Positioning

Thursday July 5, 2012
Looks like Nina was pretty much ready to accept death rather than suck it up and get in an ambulance. The lovable little scamp. So what is this radical third option?

Friday July 6, 2012
Maternal positioning! ....what the heck is that? Scott doesn't even know, and he read the books. I am somewhat mad that A3G is making me learn things, but I can't be TOO mad when my research takes me to a website called "Spinning Babies.com." Go on, click on that link and take a look at those lists of maternal positions. Which ones do you think Frank Bolle will try to not illustrate?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Decision Time

I hope all the loyal blog readers had enjoyable Independence Day festivities!  Here's a recap of Nina's baby's struggle for independence:

Tuesday, July 3rd

This is fantastic!  Tommie's having intense thought bubbling with facial and hand gestures, while Scott keeps peeking over her shoulder to see what the hell the plan is.  Meanwhile, Nina's presumably freaking out on her beanbag chair.  Take your time Tommie, no rush.

I hope this ends with a Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman style unsterile birth/probably avoidable makeshift surgical procedure.  There's always a risk of infection.

Wednesday, July 4th

I find it hard to believe that Scott read the books, based on his co-idiocy with Nina about this birth.  Because I'm dedicated to accuracy, I read the Wikipedia article on breech birth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breech_birth

You're welcome for some of the disturbing medical images.  So it seems like while it is most common in the United States to deliver breech babies via Caesarean section, it's possible to just to defy nature and push that sucker out.  Luckily we have a midwife with zero experience and an inadequate medical environment for the delivery.  PUSH!!!

Monday, July 2, 2012


Nina, relax, the hardest part is over! The sonogram is totally done! Now all you have to do is suffer through a few measly hours of labor/appendicitis and just push out the baby/your appedix!