Monday, July 16, 2012

The Tiny Miracle

WHOA WHOA WHOA I guess once you've got the baby in position and you're fully dialated, the baby pretty much just shoots out of you and you're done. So YAYYYYYY! Great job everybody! Now we can move on and forget about the Gaines, just as they've already forgotten about their baby. I mean, once we've cleaned up the placenta.

Before we banish the Gaines to their off-screen domestic bliss, a quick poll: what do you think they're going to name the baby? Some obvious contenders:
  • Tommie (best midwife eva)
  • Margo (best publicist eva)
  • Nina's mother's name ("this one's for you, mama!")
  • Nina Jr.

12 comments:

Elaine said...

Wow, talk about a 'Special Delivery'! Not only is that baby clean and shiny, with a head full of hair, but Nina is already up and about to head back to work. And what a baby - how convenient that it almost looks old enough to start pre-K.

Elaine said...

Good thing she delivered that baby while wearing her work clothes...

D.B. Echo said...

"I love you, Nina Gaines! ...now, about that appendix thing..."

Gladys Kravitz said...

Three weeks of labor, a breach birth delivery, assisted only by an inexperienced midwife, giving birth to a six month old baby- and not a hair out of place. Adorn, the hairspray for every situation!

Anonymous said...

Baby name? Howzabout Future Lifetime Therapy Patient?

Ken said...

A birth that could only happen in the A3G-verse.

What did I win for the baby pool? A homemade maternal positioning Twister mat? I'll get started.

I think baby Gaines should be named June, since she should have been born in June, not July.

Frosty the Snowman said...

Happy Birthday!

pq said...

[Dead Mother] Tommie Gaines is here! I love that, immediately after she's given birth, Scott sweeps Nina off her feet for a big smooch. He won't be feeling so romantic when he finds his shoes are covered with placenta.

Sugar Packet said...

Haha! Wow. Apartment 3G is great. All that labor and then it's just like WHOOPS! Drop the baby so I can kiss you! I guess this is Scott's way of showing he still loves her: putting her before the baby. Get used to crying to yourself, kid.

If they don't name it something insufferable like "Brooklyn" or "Ice Station Zebra," it's going to be named after Nina's mom. NO QUESTION!

Megan said...

Observations from a former childbirth educator:

1) Tommie forgot to put a cap on the baby. She may go into hypothermia.

2) Where is the skin-to-skin contact that midwives famously promote? Nina is still wearing that pressed white shirt. If had Tommie had placed baby immediately on Mom's breast as she should have, that shirt would be stained with blood.

2) What, no breastfeeding?

3) Good thing the green cushion is hiding Nina's lower half.

Carlye said...

It seems they're still in the living room. Do you think Stanley Steemer can get the stains out of the carpet?

Anonymous said...

Clearly all of the blood and other bodily fluids are only on Tommie's white shirt, which is why she's changed into a yellow one instead.