Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween, Everybody!

Take that, Doctor TV! Allright!! Not only do we get some explanation on the lop-sided crowd demographics (female and hat-crazy), we also see what the cast and crew of I Dressed in the Dark wear: lab coats! Best of all is Bobbie in all of her cranky glory--bitter, cursing, looking more like a man than ever, pointing the hell out of her finger, and trying to pass off her pajamas as a Chanel suit. This picture from is the closest thing I could find to Bobbie's current style:

This was quite fetching once!
According to the source, it's from the 1970s. I guess Bobbie's been hanging on to it for a while!

Friday, October 30, 2009

For Better or Probably For Worse

Lu Ann's in the crowd and SHE doesn't even care!Bobbie, you don't have to think out your whole backstory for me to know you've got potential. I already know you do. I'm begging you, bump into someone, walk in front of a bus again, ANYTHING! You're killing me here!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

You're a Womanizer Baby

Tough crowd...Wah wah wah, I'm incapable of love or affection but I'm putting the Professor on my "to do" list anyway. The people in the background have been getting a lot of attention in the comments lately, probably because Bobbie hasn't been that entertaining. Looks like we've got a couple of boys in there, but maybe they're just unattractive ladies?

Come on Bobbie! A little less conversation, a little more action!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Play by the Rules

"And whom he's been doing it with!" is a quote that will warm my heart long into the coming winter months. Both illicit and explicit, racy with a mysterious dash of boring, careful enough to use the correct relative pronoun and careless enough to dangle the presposition.

That said, if Bobbie steals Ruby's spot in I Dressed in the Dark by wandering onto set dressed like an eggplant Mao Zedong, I'll be upset, no matter whom her husband is doing it with.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What I Need is a Good Follow Up to Friends!

I think she's standing in front of a Halloween parade.Unless "dirt" is some hip new recreational drug I'm unaware of (which is possible!), this plot is turning out much differently than I expected. Maybe Bobbie is talking about Dirt, the short-lived 2007 dramedy starring Courtney Cox-Arquette as Lucy Spiller, the tabloid queen. Of course, Courtney has since moved on to Cougar Town... you might do well to do the same, Bobbie.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Whatever, Anthony...

She's got mega-tude.Sorry for the late posts, but it looks like I didn't miss much except the Professor receiving an early Easter basket. And now we know who sent it! As if it were a big surprise. I can almost read the card now.

Dear Dr. What's-your-face,

please accept this gift of whatever Anthony decided to throw in here
as a token of my desire probably. It looked expensive.

Well, I've got other things to do now.


How he must pine for her.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday Night Highlights

I can tell you the last time Tommie did something silly and impulsive. It was January 2007... Tommie had been feeling pretty bad about herself for a while.

A rare moment of clarity.Deservedly. She's boring allright. Plus her pal Marie told her she was a spinster or spinster-like at least fourteen times. So, she was feeling pretty low.

Blazin' hot!So she decided to go to a party with good old Marie, where she met absolutely gorgeous, thin mustache-having producer, Neil! Meanwhile "fish lips" Gary was trying to put the moves on her, but who could notice with Neil being so hot??

Then Tommie insulted Neil's play, tried to take it back, and then WOUND UP MAKING OUT WITH HIM! It was kind of gross, especially since she frowned through the whole thing, but we all thought "Good for Tommie! I guess. Actually I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this." We all thought that, right?

Shake your moneymaker like somebody bout to pay ya.Right after that, Neil left to make out with other girls, and Gary made his move, convincing Tommie to shake what her mama gave her in front of an old timey jukebox. And the rest is history. No spark, we'll see about that Tommie! ....When you dump him in two years!

So Tommie. Before you let your life become a Mobius strip of boredom punctuated by brief and compelling moments of exhilirating humilation, let me just reccommend: do NOT try to make out with Clinton Kelly. You'll only wind up with a broken heart.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Don't Worry, Tommie. You Won't Win.

'My clothes are boring?' Tommie went into a random state.Hahaha, so true! Ruby's self-aware and she thinks Tommie['s wardrobe] is boring. WE'RE LIKE TWINS. Now get yourself downtown, you have a contest to win!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

That's Right, Tommie.

They'll probably tell you to change your upholstry, Ruby. I would say that no women would have an open conversation of how badly they dress and how much they need a makeover, but..... I've actually had this conversation with my friends before. Any one of us, even those of us who thought we dressed decently, would accept nationally televised ridicule in return for $5000 of clothes and a haircut. Aside from the loot, it'd be an awesome story. "I love that shirt, where did you get it?" "Oh, this old thing? I got it a few years back when I WAS ON WHAT NOT TO WEAR, yes yes yes!!"

So Tommie may look reluctant, but she'll probably come to the same conclusion we did and wind up going. That bubble-haired jerk better not make the show. This is Ruby's time to shine!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ohmygosh, ohmygosh!

Come on Tommie, don't you have cable?I will graciously overlook that What Not to Wear is over six years old and somewhat old news because I'm so excited that, you guys, Ruby's gonna get a makeover! Or Tommie. ....or potentially anyone in this strip. Buuuut, probably Ruby, cause of the ribbons and frills and all. I'll miss the ribbons, truly I will. HOWEVER, I really can't wait what constitutes a makeover in A3G world. My guess:

  • hair covering one eye, Veronica Lake-style
  • make up (for at least a couple of days)
  • some sort of "voluptuous" dress
  • less-oblong earrings?

I am also pumped to see what the Stacy London/Clinton Kelly doppelgangers are going to be like. Probably frantic and insulting. Yes yes yes!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Contest Contest!

If you can call that a peacoat... Oh my gosh, a contest! What will it be and how will it pertain to our girls?
  • a painting competition? (for Lu Ann)
  • a screaming match? (for Margo)
  • an ugliest peacoat contest? (for Tommie)
  • a door scrubbin' race? (for Ruby)

So many possibilities! Any suggestions?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Greengrocer's Final Stand

Quit squeezing your mangoes... ick.Finally. Someone who's willing to take a stand for rest of us. Thank you, impatient greengrocer. If only there was a character like you in every scene in this comic. Although honestly, you could've butt in a little sooner.

Credit where credit's due: foreshadowing impatient greengrocer in Friday's comic. Nice touch.

Friday, October 16, 2009

And my wh-wh-wh-WHAT??!

A double swivel-bobble with a mango twist! Allright already with the mangoes! They're starting to make me uncomfortable. I mean, what am I supposed to think when she holds them to her chest like that?! Even that guy by the lettuce is starting to resent them.

Meanwhile, we learn that maybe Margo is jealous and resentful (SURPRISE) and more hints that Martin likes Gabriella.... like likes her. Personally, I think deep down he's just bored and killing time before his next business venture.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Mangoes, Papaya/Chestnuts from the Fire

How much longer can they go on hovering around these mangoes?Hi! It's me, the 'Mangoes' sign. Just reminding you that we're dealing with mangoes here and not strange, oblong Granny Smith apples. Wouldn't that be weird? Good thing I'm here.

You might've noticed me in Monday's comic, but since mangoes were included in the dialogue, I felt a little extraneous. Not anymore. I hope these folks stand keep milling around these mangoes for another few weeks so I can continue to prove my usefulness.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Mango Madness

We all know Margo has left the 'denial' stage of grief and is lingering in 'anger,' where she usually hangs out anyway. "Margo is a very strong person. At times perhaps too strong. At times perhaps frightening in her vengeance." She's dealing with her grief allright, Gabriella. She's work, work, working towards destroying that Lama that didn't even turn around to check up on her fiance before he fell into a crevasse and froze to death. Tibetan freedom, Schibetan freedom! You should've checked.

Is that guy in the background wearing a beret? New York City! Am I right??

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Check Out My Mangoes! Har har.

Well, it'd sure be nice if someone wore a little blush around here, Gabriella.My, everyone sure does run into each other a lot for living in a gigantic city. And hey, Professor! Why don't you leave some feisty middle-aged ladies for the rest of us, huh?

Monday, October 12, 2009

That Fellow!

The wee hours, haha!OH SNAP Bobbie just said that she's putting Dr. Professor on her to do list! Hahaha, wow! Nice. I used to have a list like that too. It was, in random order, James Marsden, Joaquin Phoenix, Pharrell Williams, and Terrence Howard. So far I'm 0 for 4, but at least I remember their last names, Bobbie.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Baby Mama Drama

Well, it appears we've moved inside for this scene, and that's about the most interesting thing about this scene. I mean, I've talked all I can about Martin's crazy hair, right? Help me out here.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Is... is that where we were?

I know I wasn't there much when you were a kid, but now I don't have anything else to do!I feel like I'm a step or two behind on this scene. Yesterday, a car pulled up to her apartment, without being clear if "her" meant Margo or Lu Ann or someone else. The car I guess was Martin's, but that wasn't clear either. Now it turns out everyone was together at Gabriella's apartment, not that it was important enough to draw. It's like I missed a day. Was Wednesday's comic about everyone having dinner at Gabriella's, and then Martin helping Margo and Lu Ann into his car? Nope, just Ruby and Tommie complaining.

And what's up with Martin?? He grew an upper lip AND cheekbones in one day! Cosmetic surgery, I bet. New York City, am I right?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Back from C'ville

Hello everybody! I'm back from my trip to Charlottesville, Virginia. We were doing a photo shoot at a building my company designed at UVA. Charlottesville was lovely, the campus was beautiful, and there were plenty of nice restaurants, but being an alum of the College of William and Mary, my official position is that Charlottesville sucked and all the students looked way dumb. (sorry, Frook)

It looks like I didn't miss too much during my trip, except for one particularly exciting exchange between Ruby and Tommie:

Tommie's been hanging on to that coffee mug so long that her fingers have melded on to it.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Tommie! Don't give up on life! You have so much to live for! Like............. your job?

"I feel lonely and unloved. You know what I mean?" Tommie's sigh of defeat and soul-crushing expression says "YES, YOU KNOW THAT I DO, WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK"

Let's move on, shall we?
Thanks for the ride, crazy old Magee!So we're moving from the B plot to the C plot, featuring a car pulling up to her building. Normally I'd be excited to see Margo again, but she keeps hanging out with boring ol' Lu Ann. Still, it's good to see Margo make her father bobble with dispair, just like the old days. Stay tuned...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

A Short Interruption

I'm going to be traveling for work for the next few days--my first business trip! I hope it's as glamorous as I imagine. However, I won't have access to the internet, so I won't be posting for the next few days. I just pray that we're going to cool down on all the red hot Bobbie-Professor-Ruby action and switch to our B-plot, which is... I don't know, Margo and Lu Ann getting along? Tommie feeling icky about death? No one dating anybody? Hmm.

Be good, kids!

Saturday, October 3, 2009


I think my boyfriend's iPhone tootles like that... "It's been a pleasure, Bobbie, but I really must be going. My leftover sesame noodles aren't going to eat themselves, and my TV is probably starting to worry about me." Sounds like the Professor doesn't want this to get physical. Maybe he's shy! Oh Professor. Anyway, luckily for him, Bobbie's cellphone is tootling like crazy, including out of her neck. Saved by the tootle! It's like the phone itself is saying "tootles" to the Professor. I hope the Professor remembers to give Bobbie a tootle when he gets home safe. God "tootle" makes me laugh. WHY WOULD A PHONE MAKE THAT NOISE??

Professor, let yourself out into the pitch black hall, will ya?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Hunger Strike

I can't resist a man who has half a container of cold sesame noodles in his fridge.Now if I were the Professor, I'd probably thinking, "Abort. Abort. Chick is mentally unstable. Locate nearest exit." But I'm guessing that smile in panel two is genuine, not plastered on in a panic like mine would be.

All this seems like a Lifetime movie waiting to happen. Her troubled past, their romantic tension (that I'm guessing is there), the moral ambiguities of their professional and personal relationship... though it'd help if Bobbie were even a little feminine or good looking.

So, I challenge my readers to come up with a good Lifetime movie name for this story arc! Here's my attempt: Shaky Hands, Shaky Heart: the Bobbie Merrill Story.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Jober as a Sudge

One brave drop of booze flees the glass to send for help.Hmm, her hand was steady enough to pour that drink... I would start calling Bobbie "Shaky Hands Magee" but that would mean she was related to Margo. Anyway, I think she's faking it. She's probably just angling for a steak dinner to go with that drink before she reinvites Doc Prof back to her room for some late night smooching.

By the way, Bobbie? The Professor isn't even a licensed counselor. He certainly isn't a medical doctor. Next she'll think he's an astronaut.