Friday, May 30, 2014

Broken Wing

So then, (Lu Ann + wrinkles) + broken wing - capability to love = Tommie? I don't understand these games either Carol! I think I'm missing a boyish haircut in my equation.

I hope Carol is Bobbie-Merrill-off-her-medication levels of crazy, I feel like it's been a long time since we had a storyline with a real nut in it. .......I mean, besides Tommie and this whole deer thing.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Waffles, Bacon and Eggs!

Oh, nevermind. It's not Lu Ann. It's Carol. Carol = Lu Ann + wrinkles. Can everything be reduced to a formula like this? Margo - bun + baby = Nina? Dolphin - bones + murderous rage  Shark?  Casey + (curly hair + four inches) = Megan?

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Wait a minute. WAIT. A. MINUTE. I thought all the guys in this strip were supposed to look the same, not all the ladies! That is straight-up Lu Ann clip art.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A Big Fat Kiss

The disconnect between the art and dialogue has gotten really wacky recently. I think the panels maybe got mixed up? See if this works better:

Eh? Ehh?? I mean, except for the weird blobs of white I refused to waste my time filling.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Up All Night

Are we back in Manhattan (or rather, in what Frank Bolle approximates a Manhattan apartment to look like), or do Jack and Margo have the same taste in interiors? By which I mean, surrealist nihilist  chic. The box of baking soda floating mysteriously in front of elevator doors to nowhere is a nice touch.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

It's Therapy

Ha! Carol hit the nail on the head: Jack and Tommie are united by a desperate need for therapy.

I usually outright ignore the Sunday strip because it's just a rehash of the week's events, but I kind of like this week's Sunday recap because A. the action takes place inside a house for some reason and B. all their gestures have become like 50% more over-the-top and unnecessary. Enjoy!

Friday, May 23, 2014

You Got Me!!

Carol, what are you doing out there, champ! She's got you on the ropes, for basically no reason, so all she's saying is that some ladies in Happiness Falls are superficial! Instead of admitting defeat, try kicking off the Saturday strip with one of these bon mot:

  • "Perhaps the ones you know a bit dumb.
  • "Perhaps your mom is a bit shallow." 
  • "Perhaps your face is a bit shallow." 

and of course, you know how I'm going to bring this home,

  • "Perhaps your mom's face is a bit shallow." 

I could go on, but I'm trying to keep it clean here. Anyway, I bet any one of those would totally deflate Tommie's "Ta da!" pose she's striking at the end of her sick burn.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

True Love

Clearly she gets under Tommie's skin... Tommie use two exclamation points!! !!

By the way, a sampling of "Jack's charms":
"Tommie falls asleep in her dinner most of the time."
"I'm talking about the mare, Aristotle. But Tommie is doing okay too."
"Now go wash up. You smell."
"Grab that manure shovel."
"I think you've done a stupid thing."

Actually, I'm on board. I think I'm in love with him too. Hands off, Tommie.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Really Hope You're Kidding

Carol is using the ol' "look at my butt" technique to intimidate her rival, then follows up with the "direct question no one would ever ask a stranger." And it's totally working! Tommie is so rattled that her facial expression, hand gesture and what she's saying have no relation to one another.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Carol Collins

Carol Collins! That's perfect. The alliteration mirrors her character's preference for color matching. AND, bonus points, if she blew the back out instead of in, I think Carol could sport Mrs. Brady's signature haircut!

Anyway. Any chance Carol is with PETA?

Monday, May 19, 2014

Really Good Old Friends!

Aw, yeah!! And so the love triangle begins. (Not counting, of course, Lily and Mary the Mare as serious contenders for Jack's grizzled heart.) Yellow lady's dialogue is pathetically confrontational, but Tommie has already chosen a strategy for psyching out her opponent: pretending she's blind? I guess? Why does she look like that in the second panel??

I'm posting late, but any guesses on names for this lass? I'm thinking Sally.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

My Dear Tommie

Whoa, whoa, the mare is Tommie's now?  Don't you think she has enough animals to take care of, like the orphaned baby deer that she brought to you for help with in the first place?  Seriously guys, you need to look for Lily because she has probably taken up with a band of young deer toughs from the wrong side of the fence.  

Friday, May 16, 2014

Herd Animals

She's ready for a little light romancing, Tommie! We've got to wine and dine this one before we simply turn her out. Maybe I was wrong about you, Tommie. Maybe you're not ready for the sophisticated responsibility of taking care of Mary the Mare.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Certified Animal Namer

Ha! I see what you did there. Instead of just calling her "the mare," you called her "Mary!" Genius! You are now fully qualified to take on the care of a horse all by yourself. Yes, it's just that easy.

PS: I don't think Jack is really a vet.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Dry and Calm

Did Tommie..... wet the mare? And is she saying.... she has hemorrhoids?

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Hey, Has Anyone Seen a Fawn?

Why the long face, Stormy?  Is it because you were abused or because you really can't stand the smell of Tommie's pink turtleneck?  Or because Tommie is wearing white pants out of season?

Monday, May 12, 2014

The Mare is Jumpy

Don't horses usually have awesome names, like "Duchess" or "Sparkle" or "No-FaceMarie"? Oh well. This whole strip is great is many many absurd ways, but let's take a special moment to recognize how wonderful the middle panel of Tommie super theatrically getting thrown by "the mare" is:

Out, out, brief candle! Also, ouch!!

Joking aside, I think this is the first time in A3G history that I've looked at one of their outfits and thought: I want that! White pants are so cool. I had a pair in eighth grade and I stained them instantly. Can't say I would be brave enough to wear white at a large animal vet/dude ranch.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Call Me!

Tommie may be getting her hands dirty, but her turtleneck is still spotless after three weeks! Spotless, and rancid.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Hard, Sad Work

Maybe her sorrow, but not her herpes.

Sorry Jack, next time you'll listen to your elders.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

As the Twilight Fades

Has Tommie told you why she's fostering a deer? Because she never told us. Frankly we're baffled.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Just the Two of Us

Ah...The refreshing, clear scotch of Happiness Falls.  Nothing like a short glass that has never even seen the inside of a barrel after a hard day of work on the farm.  Although, I'm not going to lie, I wasn't expecting Jack to offer Ari a drink.  At the end of the first panel, I thought Dr. Jack was going to make Ari suppress his thoughts and feelings and only express himself through grueling manual labor.

Monday, May 5, 2014

I Work Her Hard

LILY LIVES! Phew! Also, Lily has the exact same thoughts and feelings as Tommie? ....phew?

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Time Flies in Happiness Falls

Apparently, there was no Roy Rogers on the way to Happiness Falls.  The Professor is wasting away! Get this man some lamb souvlaki before it's too late.

Um, how long has Tommie been here?  I thought it was like a week, tops, but apparently Tommie has been having regular dinner time narcolepsy.  It can't be any worse than the boredom narcolepsy experience each time I have to write something for this storyline. 

Friday, May 2, 2014

Her Seat is Perfect

Um, Jack! Clearly your mutant superpower of being able to transform into harmless background set pieces embarrasses Tommie. Or maybe it's the fact that you're talking about Tommie's seat.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Tommie and the Mare

That's a long way to go for a crack about how mediocre Tommie is, Jack. That's pretty common knowledge. Though it looks like Aristotle appreciates it, so score one for you.

And Tommie, don't fool yourself. All of Margo's worries are about how this affects her, so she didn't send him to check up on you. She sent him to drag you back to the city so that you can continue cooking for/worshiping her as usual.