Ah, Margo is back, and in fine form! "Keep your chin up! You don't want to start sobbing. Well, I don't want you to start sobbing. It's so unseemly to have emotions. Just, you know, smile. Ugh, but not like that, what is wrong with you??"
Well readers, it's the holiday season, so whoop-dee-doo, and dickery dock, and we're going to take a short break here at LLA3G. We'll be back with a big recap on January 6th, and I'll try to post some holiday goodies in between.
Uh, Dr. Bentley didn't say anything about PTSD, nor the weird claim that it could be cured. He probably thought Cole's long-term health issues might be single dad-itis, or chronic gym teacher hair. More importantly, check out Dr. Bentley in panel two. Where, exactly, does the demons' power get mitigated to? Could it be to a certain DR. BEELZEBENTLEY? Marty feels a pang of dread.
Monday December 23, 2013
Not sure what about the free hospital that "cures" PTSD made it the tough choice. Maybe it was everyone's unyielding support for the idea. Or the demon-mitigating thing.
We have phones and email... right? We have email? Because I'm pretty sure Margo's relationship with James Bond fell apart because he didn't realize he could just text her.
Friday December 20, 2013
Hahaha! Oh Marty. You could use a fresh start. Once Tori lets the kids at school know you're a $500-bill vending machine, they'll never let up. Good thing ol' Dr. Shapeshifter signed Cole up without his consent! The nice men are probably on their way to help him put on the funny-looking jackets they wear there.
"Cole, I'm not just a medical professional recommending you to the Governor Peter Russo Hospital for Veterans Who Have Been In the Strip Too Long, I happen to also be patient there! It's been instrumental in helping me work to get my medical license back."
Upstate? I hope Dr. Not-a-Doctor took a drive on the internet first. Or the phone. Although if Lu Ann's relationship with the Governor taught us anything, its that intra-state travel in New York is instantaneous, and fun!
Ohhhh I wonder what Cole's going to say. "I do, but they're really nasty feelings." "I do, but I'm a shapeshifting alien who cannot live on this world." "I do, but what are you doing with your fingers?" "I do, but did you actually break up with Peter, or did you kind of just turn down his public proposal, let him set you up with a ride, and leave him hanging?" (Seriously, when she left, Peter said he would wait for her as long as it takes. Uhhh... is he still there?)
Thank you for convinving me to stay another week in the hospital, Lu Ann. I actually feel even better than I did immediately following the surgery, if that's possible! In fact, I think that surgery cured all my other problems! The pressure from the tumor was activating my PTSD gland and my alcohola oblongata. And turns out what they thought was a tumor was actually just a wadded up $500 bill! Plus, apparently this "Marty" character was just some orphan that's been following me around! I'm a new man. And I'm sinnnnnglllllle....!
Just in case you were wondering, Dr. Bentley is giving the universal sign for "time to party," the violently shaken, overly-aggressive thumbs up. Either that or he's just having a bad case of the DTs.
Instead of going out to party, Dr. Bentley should be writing a paper for The New England Journal of Medicine detailing his novel brain surgery that requires no cutting into the patient's skull and a recovery time equal to how long it takes the patient to get dressed in his finest mustard overcoat.
"You heard what the man said! And by "man" I mean "Cole" of course, not some uncanny cannibal deathbot with the ability to approximate human speech patterns in order to lure his prey in for the kill!"
"Hey doc! Hurry up! I can't wait to see [acquaintance 1] and [acquaintance 2]! I'm out of pudding! More drugs? Merry Christmas! Where is [acquaintance 2]? And that crazy [acquaintance 1] of course! I can't wait to see him/her/it! I think I saw a ghost! Course clear, you got a card! Chuckle chuckle!"
"Oh Cole. Ha ha! Anyway, he's just off-screen, why don't you go on and see him! You might want to hold this bottle of Sriracha when you go see him, just for kicks."
Well that bombshell had.... exactly zero impact. It seems like the more Lu Ann learns, the less impact it's having on her attitude. "Stop punishing yourself for betraying your veteran single dad, who's struggled to overcome alcoholism and PTSD to raise you before succumbing to a brain tumor. I mean, five hundred dollars, what is that even? Ever since the Governor's prize patrol started funding my art classes, I've been spending that much a week on pedicures."
"But you didn't, so you showed you wanted to stay, yay!" "No, I got ditched." "Oh, uhh...well..... this is awkward...... can't you just like, ignore how you were completely hurt and abandoned by almost everyone close to you? Just get over it!"
But Marty, to be fair, just because Lu Ann is a little dim doesn't mean she's a loser.
Looks like the colorist was so shocked by the rare appearance of Lu Ann's hips in the first panel that he or she forgot to color in the rest of the wall. Luckily the wall-mounted table-height toaster is the expected gray. Got to focus on the important details.
"Hello, is this the service? Can you please tell me the status of Spencer Cole? Or... Cole Spencer? It sure is hard on everyone when you have two last names. Yes, I'll wait. What?? Five to ten minutes to talk to a live professional??! YES, hospital answering machine robot, I understand. I can handle it. I'm not some dumb baby who goes around handing out five hundred dollar bills to teenage runaways. But thank you for saying you appreciate my call."
"There's plenty of room now that I finally sold that other girl's stuff on Craigslist. You remember her, right...the red head? What was her name again...Tina? Terri?"
Friday, November 29th
"I hope you don't mind, but I'm probably going to leave some drool marks on this overstuffed, kelly green futon. If I start screaming, don't be alarmed. It's just my night terrors, and the doctors say I haven't sleep-murdered anyone for months."
Saturday, November 30th
Maybe Mrs. Ward is just a little bit angry at the world that she's had to go through life with her wrist attached directly to her shoulder. It definitely makes it hard to reach the receiver to her ear.