Where Do I Start

Tuesday December 30, 2014

Wednesday December 31, 2014

I know you guys think this DOESN'T look like the Tribecca Grill, but come on! Look at that waiter! You're telling me that's not a four-star maître d'? You're telling me that's, what, some kind of used car salesman? Get outta town. Now, are we gonna talk or not?

Bye-Bye, Tina

Well! This payoff was certainly worth it. We got to see Lily again, who looks maybe more like a husky than a dingo at this point and we got to see Carol explode into PEELS of laughter (aka looking blissed out and staring at the ground) and plus Tina almost cursed! Totally worth it.

So I guess we've taken this plotline as far as it will go! Time to check up on Margo and/or young Lu Ann.

The Joy of Motherhood is the Greatest Joy of All

Thursday July 3, 2014

Friday July 4, 2014

Monday July 7, 2014

The greatest joy of alllllllllll.... is easy to achieeeeve.... learning to love your deer, is the greatest joy of all.

Oh boy you guys! Something HILARIOUS is about to happen! There is going to be a hilarious denouement here  involving Lily, which is a bonus since we haven't seen Lily since she was forced to hug a horse. How long can this hilarious series of misunderstandings go on? Weeks, I hope!!

Nosy Tina

So after Carol basically offered her anything she wanted not to leave, Tommie... left, I guess? I hope this means that she'll come back dressed as Jack, and Tina will totally buy it because people's faces morph all the time in this universe, and it'll be awesome.

Probably the real truth is that Tommie is standing there silently, somehow staying out of the constantly-rotating picture, and she'll pipe up in about a week with, "Nuh-uh, Jack's totally still here, k gotta do some farm stuff byyyyyeeee."

One of His Crazy Streaks

Sounds like someone is pulling your leg, Tina. Just like someone will be stuffing your body into the back of a black Lincoln Continental in just a few minutes.

Hemorrhoids

I'm really going to have to conduct a poll once this strip settles down a little with the kooky dialogue to figure out which quote the new banner should feature. There have been so many epic quotes recently, including this gem about the invention of hemorrhoids. I have to say, Carol's cheery command of "Get the stick out!" is probably still my favorite.

In other news, did Tina Grant just stumble through the backyard like Bigfoot? And no one stopped her? Tommie stone cold doesn't care. "Not my problem if some random lady stomps all over our yard and lets all the animals out and pees in the fridge and changes everything about the background scenery in the process. It's time to work my head off."

The Gossip Queen

We can add food stores to the ever growing list of things that Frank can't draw (cats, fawns, bags of takeout...), unless he spends a lot of time at grocery stores full of dark alleys.  At first I thought this was the town busy body who gave Tommie the 411 on Dr. Jack in the first place.  I waded back through the three months of this story to find out, but that was Thelma Cobb, not Gina.  Happiness Falls, Population 4 (I'm assuming Carol lives there too).  I hope there is a flip-off.  Not someone giving the finger, but an impromptu, no-holds barred contest as to who best rocks the feathered flip. 

In Spite

Holy cow, who knew things could move so fast in Apartment 3-G? The priest doesn't even have time to catch up with what's going on! "Uh guys, I usually like to kick things off with a prayer... guys. It can be a short prayer! I uh... -sigh- no that's fine, I'll just... grab a pew and... sit this one out. You two just... marry yourselves, I guess. By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce myself OVER IT. You may do whatever."

And who knew Marty's mom had such tude? She's exhibiting Marty-like levels of tude right here. You go, pink doily wedding dress lady.

CORRECTION: That's Tommie's mom, of course, not Marty's. Thanks, Stickler; I write faster than I think.

Thanksgiving Recap

Thursday, November 28th

"There's plenty of room now that I finally sold that other girl's stuff on Craigslist.  You remember her, right...the red head?  What was her name again...Tina? Terri?"

Friday, November 29th

 

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm probably going to leave some drool marks on this overstuffed, kelly green futon.  If I start screaming, don't be alarmed.  It's just my night terrors, and the doctors say I haven't sleep-murdered anyone for months."

Saturday, November 30th

Maybe Mrs. Ward is just a little bit angry at the world that she's had to go through life with her wrist attached directly to her shoulder.  It definitely makes it hard to reach the receiver to her ear. 

Run Along, Boy!

Oh Jason, you just got c@?k-blocked hard by Marty.  Or maybe Tori just isn't that into guys that look like medieval monks.  I also don't understand how Jason gets what Tori is talking about, because I have no idea.  How does planning to become teenage runaways qualify as girl time?  Are they going to braid each others hair?  Are they going to have this conversation at Claire's in the mall?  Maybe Friar Tuck doesn't understand, but Tori's radiant wink has hypnotized him into calm submission.

Tori's Cool Boyfriend

I am not the only one who was skeptical about Maggie's selection of "Lick" as the possible name of Tori's boyfriend in her post yesterday, but now that I see him, it seems right on the nose. (And what a nose it is.) Other possible names: Flea, Roach, Ratface, Greaseball. Names we have now ruled out: Butch. The sad thing is, in A3G world, I expect Lick is supposed to be pretty cool. Look at how he tucks his sweatshirt into his jeans. Such a rebel.

I'm torn here, because I sort of feel bad for Marty and immediately hate Tori's boyfriend, but I really can't wait to see mini-Margo crush her. Is this going to become A3G: The Next Generation? We have Margo and Tommie, we just need mini-LuAnn.

Lu Ann Halts the Cab

Ah, the taxi hat! The hat that proudly proclaims, I drive a taxi. Or I just like taxis. Or I'm a big fan of the TV series Taxi. Actually, I guess it's a pretty ambiguous hat.

Turkey Day Recap

I hope all of our loyal readers had delightful Thanksgivings!

Thursday, November 22nd

I'm pretty sure that gentlemanliness is not measured in inches.  That's something entirely different Greg, remember to treat her like your little sister!

Friday, November 23rd

Can they even afford to even mention James Bond in this strip?  I hope that doesn't mean they're cutting Frank's home health care budget.  Also, I highly doubt they are filming a James Bond movie because Greg's extremely not British.  And wasn't Skyler's hair a completely different color?

Saturday, November 24th

You voluntarily left the best PR agency in the world?  Margo Magee doesn't like someone?  Obviously Skyler hasn't tried to ply her with canned take out and The Best of Sinatra.  It's guaranteed to make Margo forget that she hates you for a full five minutes.  It was great knowing you Evan, Margo's most trusted and soon to be eviscerated assistant.  I wonder how many babies Tommie has brought into the world?

Beautiful Murder

Must we? Must we drag this on another day? I mean there's only one person this could possibly be. Her name starts with an "S." And ends with a "kyler."

OH SNAP WAIT, I just realized, there's Gina! Remember Gina? She came back for a hot second to ambush Tommie and the gang for I Dressed in the Dark, but before that, she was an aspiring actress who moved west to follow her dreams! What if this is all a big set up to bring her back, huh? Huhh??? No, I know it's not, but what if it is??

By the way, I thought the question Greg was going to ask would be about how much he's getting paid.

Prediction

:::Holds card to forehead like Carnac:::  Greg's co-star is Skyler!  How else is Margo ever going to find out about Evan's betrayal?  I predict that Margo will make a surprise trip to the movie set in London to check on her only remaining PR client, where she will happen upon Evan (who requested off from the M&M agency to have surgery) giving Skyler an intense one-finger massage.  But what really happens will probably be way lamer.

Are You Kidding?

Is..... Greg........ wearing................. pajamas?? Oh my god. The only way I can deal with the fashion and the style in this strip is to imagine every character as a flaming hipster. Director Chinbeard might be the most relevant character we've seen in ages.

Shocker

 

Abigail is a fairly common name, Scott, no need to question it.  It's actually #11 for girls in 2012: http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?year=2012

But it's just to set up Tommie for the "What? Little old me?  I'm so flattered..." routine, while she was skulking in the shadows.

Pass the Baby

Someone's going to have to teach these people how to hold a baby. Unfortunately, Tommie snuck down the fire escape. You're on your own, folks. Hope you still have those books.

Fred Enters

Boy, it's like Fred walked in and sucked all the interesting out of the story. I can't believe I'm saying this, but where did Tommie nip off to? Once the baby is outside of Nina's body she's pretty much done, huh?

Post Partum

Yea, but she's still going to need those towels to mop up the afterbirth.  I hope that beanbag chair is machine washable!  I think we're about due for Margo to put this birth announcement in the rumor mill!

As for the name, I'm going with either Nina's mother's name or we never get a name and jump directly into another storyline.