Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Ten Things I Hate About You
And now ladies and gentlemen, the top ten things that Peter really wanted to say:
10) "Zoe didn't give you that outfit to wear to funerals..."
9) "Do you know that nerdy girl who is spray painting squiggles onto the fence and shouting your name? Is she...drunk?!?"
8) "I want to kiss you on your thick, flesh colored lips."
7) "John was secretly wielding all the power of the executive office of this state...I am a puppet and I don't know what to do now!"
6) "My tie is the same pattern as the interior of my car..."
5) "I killed John Calder..."
4) "Traditionally, lieutenant governors who die in office lie in state in a suburban park."
3) "I was at Zoe's late last night, and yada, yada, yada I'm really tired today..."
2) "How is it that I haven't met your third roommate?"
1) "I know we've only been on one date, but my internal polling...er I mean my heart is telling me that you're the one. Will you accept this box of radiant light and be my wife?"