This is the farm, Carol! We don't talk about our horrible losses, we deaden their pain with manual labor. Then we feel nothing, nothing but the heavy sludge of manure beneath our feet.
On a side note, and maybe I'm alone on this, but I feel like going after your dead friend's husband is an uncomfortable gray area. I would pretty much need a vision of said dead friend saying "No, really, this is totally what I want!" before I would even consider it. I guess Lu Ann + Eye Bags doesn't have the same qualms or a good retinol cream.