Thursday, September 24, 2015

Pray for Her

Hey guys. Do we have any readers who are medical professionals, or have friends that are medical professionals that could give us a second opinion? I just want to get it confirmed that this is a typical examination for a patient suffering possible dissociative fugue symptoms, or possibly a catatonic state.

  • First: insist the patient stands up while you talk to about her in the third person. 
  • Next, have a man she doesn't recognize hold her hand and murmur soothing sentiments with the goofiest grin ever, while you go get your stethoscope from the car. 
  • In fact, nevermind that, bring the patient to your equipment. 
  • Have her stand outside on the sidewalk while you hover around her with your invisible stethoscope, making educated guesses about her pulse and breathing. 
  • When the patient inevitably collapses and/or disappears into thin air, freak out dramatically and demand someone else call an ambulance. 
  • Now's probably a good time to go back inside. 
  • Find the patient's roommate and ask them to locate the patient's hand and hold it while you look on anxiously and think about getting a snack.

Can we all agree this is pretty par for the course?


fauxprof said...

My favorite panel is the one in which Eric seems to be morphing into Alfred E. Neumann. What, me worry?

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

You're back! Hallelujah! ... Er... I mean, YAY!!! (I wouldn't want to incur Tommie's wrath.)

Scott P. said...

I like that Margo is apparently walking around while being completely insensate.