Well, we've come to what I can only hope is the nadir of activity/interest/relevance in Apartment 3-G: Tommie knocking on a door alone and no one answering. Hoo boy. No where to go but up, I guess. I mean, if there weren't those thought bubbles there, this would be nothing.
First there was this exciting exchange. "Run along, Tommie dear." "See you later, Aunt Iris." It would've spiced up the dialogue if one of them admitted that OH MY GOD, THE GIANT HAND, HE'S HOLDING THE DOOR CLOSED, THERE'S NO ESCAPE, TELL PRISSY I LOVE HER
Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
Gypsy? Iris, you're not wearing a headscarf or carrying a crystal ball. You're also not trying to tell me my fortune/give me a twig in front of a major European tourist attraction, so I don't think you're a gypsy. I mean you're so reliable and stable that you've been given full responsibility for Prissy the Wonder Cat. Don't be so dramatic, Justin Bieber...I'm sorry, I mean Tommie.
Tommie's just covering her tracks. She did have one wish, and she used it to get all her clothes back from I Dressed in the Dark. Also, her Tommie: Maureen O'Hara's character from Miracle on 34th Street called, she wants her personality back. OH SNAP!
Nothing quite says "I don't get new technology" than calling it "bells and whistles." I hope this is going to be a week long exploration of cool new technomological gadgets like mp3s, touch screens, and the click wheel.
This had potential to be another pointless Saturday strip, but you know who can turn any boring situation around? Here's a hint: there's a framed picture of her on the wall. THAT'S RIGHT, Prissy the Wonder Cat!! She's done being orange for now, and she's anxious to get on the phone with Tazer Lady. I bet Prissy has a British accent, the adorable little scamp.
"Also, do you mind if I hand-dip you in resin and preserve you for all time in the TV room?"
I don't know, I'm getting a bad feeling about this...call it a hunch. Advice for Lu Ann: if Paul parks at the Bates Motel, I would beg off. Although it will probably be too late for you at that point anyway.
Wow, everyone's taking this bouquet thing a little too seriously, wouldn't you say? The salmon doublemint twin has a hint of a smile ("I should humor him, he must be in one of those softball teams for adults with special needs"), but everyone else agrees on the grave importance of the bouquet. Lu Ann's especially grim look communicates that she knows Paul is going to translate his inappropriate catch into a wedding proposal in the near future, which she'll be too nice to reject outright. Sorry, Lu Ann! On the upside, what's his is yours, including that swell murder shack.
Margo, he's not crying, it's just the fumes from his yellow onion suit making his eyes water. Or those decorative yellow onions behind you.
Wow, that was a quick wedding. I guess the illustrator had a hand cramp or something and didn't feel like going to all that trouble for these secondary characters. Doris looks like she's just been crowned Queen of the Frumpy Librarians. I wonder what the one important thing is? Is it to recommend a good "De-Purpling" clinic for the guests? Maybe everyone but Jack and Doris went through that lilac door and were irrevocably changed.
What the what? Alright, let's start at the beginning. Mmm, that dress just gets better and better with each new angle. Doris, after the wedding, I would recommend that you see a doctor to remove that growth from your shoulder, as well as put it back in its socket. Now, I don't know know what kind of "modern" reception these crazy kids are having, but generally the men aren't invited to participate in the bouquet toss. A plausible explanation is Paul was just near the dance floor, and Doris lost control of the toss when her arm fell out of its socket. You would think he would have let it go past him so that one of the desperate, single, lilac women could catch it. Or just let LuAnn catch it. The only logical conclusion is that Doris threw the bouquet so hard that she dislocated her own shoulder. It was wild throw, and Paul instinctively reached up and plucked those white roses out of thin air. Either way, it's further evidence that Paul is going to join Eric Mills at the big gallery in the sky.
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT SEXY TIMES, LU ANN. Jeez. Margo will probably veil in in talk about Trey giving her strength to move past the Tibet Fiance Avalance Disaster, but we all know what Trey has really given Margo. And it's X-rated.
I'm pretty sure we're all thinking the same thing here. Date sometimes... is that what they're calling it these days? (These days probably being more like 30 years ago.) I knew you had it in you, Margo.
It took me a full five minutes to figures out that this isn't a random wedding. Lu Ann and Margo must be gearing up for the blessed union of Jack and Doris! I don't know how it could've slipped my mind. Maybe because neither of them has been mentioned since September. This means I missed the bachelorette party, doesn't it? Rats.
Trey, don't lie. You talked to Margo about where the money's coming from. Or don't you remember this little conversation?
"Get this, I'm sleeping with her!"
Stu and Karl are both very interested in Trey's career, and Stu has proven his interest by leaving the room immediately. It gets crowded in there with three people, I'm sure he just wanted Trey to feel comfortable. His mysterious disappearance probably has nothing with the free soft pretzels on the third floor this afternoon.
Lex Luthor and a balding Richard Nixon talk about having a meeting, kicking off what is sure to be a fascinating week of salary negotiations and opportunities for professional growth. Hold on to your t-squares, kids!
