Never For Now

Wait, that whole thing with the governor was supposed to be dramatic?  I can't even remember how it ended...I also don't think we can classify any of the male-female interactions in this strip as dating.  A male appears in the strip and is paired with his same hair color A3G female.  There are many strips of talking followed by an immediate escalation in the relationship with emerald or diamond rings given.  Then the male disappears and the cycle begins anew.

Too Busy

Man, if I were writing a strip to stall for time, these are basically the strips I would write.

Lu Ann: How's your mom's wedding going?
Margo: AWFUL! And off panel.
Lu Ann: Wasn't she going through some kind of identity crisis?
Margo: The last time I saw her was February of last year, so I'm sure she's fine. By the way, family members should never get involved in weddings!
Lu Ann: Oh!
Margo: I saw a family member punch another family member at a wedding once. That proves it.
Lu Ann: Okay.
Margo: How about lunch?
Lu Ann: Lunch? What's that?
Margo: It's this thing you put in your mouth and chew.
Lu Ann: Okay!
Margo: Should we go to a restaurant?
Lu Ann: Sure! Do you know any?
Margo: I know one! It's on Third!
On the stairs...Margo: My dad knows lots of restaurants.
Outside...Lu Ann: Wow! It feels good to see blue people walking around again.
Margo: WAIT--did you see what I saw??
Lu Ann: What?
Margo: Nevermind, it's nothing.
Lu Ann: Are you sure?
Margo: Yup, pretty much.
Lu Ann: Okay, now, which way is the restaurant?
Margo: Do you have Google Maps? Or a sense of direction?
Lu Ann: Would those be on my flip phone?
Margo: WAIT, Lu Ann--is that a penny on the sidewalk??

I mean this could go on forever. Just wait until we witness another snoozefest luncheon. At least we're outside... Maybe somebody will walk into the path of a bus! A gal can dream.

At Least They Left The Apartment?

OMG!  Matrón, the fabulous boutique on Third that caters to older, perpetually single women is having a a buy one, get one free sale on blouses and turtlenecks!  I hope Lu Ann put her credit card in her attaché case! 

My Treat

INADEQUATE! That was ONE horror story, and now we're just talking about eating again. This is the worst. This is nothing.

When nothing is happening in this strip, it always reminds me of that "This is something, this is nothing" Phil Hartman SNL skit where he's teaching an acting class. If you don't watch it, it's your loss.

Wedding Fun!

That's all you've got, Margo? Come on, I've seen worse on any given episode of Bridezillas.

Fistfights

Um. Lu Ann. You do too know how dangerous wedding planning can be. Do you remember nothing of the Paul Linski 100% natural good-time family wedding solution? You know, when you half-heartedly accepted Paul's proposal and he immediately bought the house next to his parents' house and declared your wedding dress needed sleeves and his family was not satisfied by your obvious lack of enthusiasm and ran a background check to figure out you're a war widow which means you're a liar and a big ho I guess?

Anyway. I still love Margo's huge brushstroke of "Family should never be involved in wedding plans!" She is so right, family's are such a nuisance when they care about stuff! If only we could just exclude them from Thanksgiving and Christmas and high school graduations, too.

Freedom

Wow, that was a quick resolution to Margo's wedding planning blues.  I mean, isn't Gabriella going to notice/be upset that Margo almost immediately pawned her daughterly duties off on someone else?  And isn't Gabriella going to yell at Margo in broken Spanish/Italian/Yiddish while gesticulating wildly?  Or is she so fully WASPified now that she'll just say something passive agressive and fix herself a nightcap?

Deceit

Oh yeah... Sam. Good old... Sam. Ahh. Okay, I admit, I really didn't think this was a character until I cross-checked with the Comic Curmudgeon and Sam is, indeed, real. He was Margo's party planning assistant, back when she was actually doing weddings, circa 2007 B.C. (Before Carla). He was only in a few strips, but since he was a dude, everyone pretty much assumed he and Margo were going to get together. Now that we know he's thrilled to be in charge of a old rich lady's aspirationally WASP-tacular wedding, we can probably rule out that romantic possibility.

A Little White Lie

Whoa! Did Lu Ann become the devil sitting on Margo's shoulder, speaking in uncanny weird English? I like her implication that if Margo were herself, it would've occurred to her to lie. That said, pretty sure you can't "white lie" about planning someone's wedding. Gabriella will definitely figure it out on the wedding day, when no one she knows shows up and the venue is booked for a bat mitzvah.

In Charge

Margo is under the assumption that everyone knows she is always in charge, so really, yeah, what would that change?

Outrageous Demands

You know, I make fun of Margo's work ethic a lot, but I guess if she nabbed Greg Cooper (James Bond) and Skyler Roan (a Bond girl, which is to say, at least as famous as Jane Seymour), then I guess she is at least a fairly well-regarded publicist. Provided that she is Greg's publicist. Cause it seems like when she repeatedly ignored his letters and asked him to stop talking to her altogether, she was probably not doing the best publicity for him either. Just a guess though. Margo can probably compartmentalize work and pleasure.

Have there been any movie posters for this Bond flick, by the way? I would love to see one. It'd probably be Greg (in a blue blazer) and Skyler (in a carnation pink crew neck) from the shoulder up in a white room looking at each other and talking. Why won't they make these fantastic movie posters??

What Is It About

 

It's about Margo being gun-shy about weddings after losing Greg, her one chance at true love.  Or that it's ostentatious for a second/later in life wedding to be lavish.  Or it's just about Margo not really wanting to plan the wedding because Gabriella is a bridezilla.  Or it could just be that we need a Margo storyline and this is the best that Shulock and Bolle can really do at this point. 

My Mother Happened

Jeez, guys. I don't know if I can keep doing this in good conscience.

On Friday, I linked to this strip from eight years ago (the last time Margo planned a wedding.. ha) and it's not like stylistically it's that different—we're still talking turtlenecks and squiggle art here—but there's some kind of nuance, at least. Some variation in expression and details and depth of field. I mean, Margo actually looks sassy!

Today's art... I don't know what to say about this. Weird eyes. Shrinking Margo. Is this funny? I went to my great-aunt's 92nd birthday over the weekend. She's mentally agile and a great conversationalist, but even if she wasn't, she's 92 years old. You don't make fun of an old person for not being able to do things as well as they used to. Frank Bolle is 90. Pointing out that the artwork is bad and was better when Frank was a young pup of 82 is like telling my great-aunt that her narrative style has gotten less succinct.

I don't know. Maybe it'll get funnier when Gabriella shows up and affects a British accent, which we'll only be able to detect by the spelling of words like "colour" and "programme."

Beyond Reasoning

Ummm. Margo. You used to be a wedding planner. And it's your mom. I don't think you can get out of this. Bring on the peacocks!

Drama!

GASP...

This better not be a favor you are asking from Margo. I hope you intend to pay her handsomely for her time, considering it will be keeping her from her inexplicably successful PR firm.

(Or is like "GASP... has she seen how I dress and decorate? Why in the world would she want me to plan a fancy wedding? Well, OK... turtlenecks for everyone!")

Stalling

No, Dad, I have work to do. I left my laptop in the other room—I mean... dining area—and those pictures of old boyfriends aren't going to look at themselves!

Hey wait a minute, is lunch over? I still haven't seen a waiter. Or food. Or even a narration box that says "After a sumptuous four-star meal..." And aren't comic strips supposed to have a plot or action or something, or is it okay to have a week of strips of two people having a pleasant lunch and then going their separate ways?

Lunch First

"And it's a solid wood table.  Not one of these Swedish, flat-packed, assembled with an allen wrench situations.  I'm rich!"

Margo, we went through this last week.  Martin's super worried about your mother trying to WASPify her accent, and apparently needs to come to your office multiple times because he can't handle it.  I mean, she probably started talking really fast with her hands, which totally scares WASPy guys.

Looks like we're in for another barn burner of a storyline.  Hang on to your hats.

I Have My Ways

Gee, DAD, the Tribeca Grill sure does look like generic office space to me. How did you get this table on such short notice? Did you just... buy a table and put it here? In the office? Does anyone actually work here? I don't smell food, and the bread basket on the table is filled with crumpled up balls of printer paper. What's for lunch? Is it sugar packets and powdered creamer on a paper plate you found in the break area? I definitely need a drink. Where's that waiter? And why are you wearing a waist apron?

Free Lunch

Keep working?  Or start working since you spent the whole morning mooning over Greg in your office armchair?  Margo's dedication to her job, which is apparently so strong that it doomed her relationship with Greg, is easily overcome by her even stronger desire that no one but her have fun/nice things.

Good thing Margo can dump all the work she is supposed to be doing on Carla, who can finish it up while she eats a mushy PB&J at her desk, again.