Great, I Guess

I'm pretty sure the term "freaked" has been around since the 60s at least, so I don't see why Hobo Tramp Dan is so puzzled, unless he's been asleep a lot longer than I thought. Or maybe he's just flustered since Aunt Iris ran away a left him to deal with Blaze.

The Whole Story

Actually, Dan's leaving out the part where he fell asleep under a tree for twenty years; luckily, no one in Apartment 3-G uses computers, smart phones, bluetooth, ipods, ipads, email, the internet, wikipedia, twitter, facebook, youtube, Tivo, DVDs, blu-rays, Playstations, Xboxs, or those fancy "hybrid" cars. So it hasn't really been a problem.

Excuse Me, Mr. Diller

I like how Aunt Iris doesn't even bat an eye. "Hi, Blaze! How's the show going so far? I wanted to introduce you to this homeless man you seem to know already!" We're gearing up for the big reveal, the one we've been anticipating for over ten days now. Will Hobo Tramp Dan be a billionaire, or merely a millionaire?

Rick Told Me

What else did Rick tell you? Did he tell you the beard makes you look "distinguished"? A real friend would tell you the truth, Hobo Tramp Dan!

Hobopiece Theatre

I've been so distracted by the appearance of Hobo Tramp Dan that I totally forgot this is Tommie's big moment! Good thing I forgot, or I'd be disappointed that we, of course, will not see one iota of this play. Instead, I'm just glad to see HTD again, looking just as hairy and magical as ever.

I might be going a little overboard with the references lately--Gandalf, Kenny Rogers, Zeus, Colombo--but in the first panel, Hobo Tramp Dan's slightly worried expression reminds me of David the Gnome. Specifically the last episode. Remember? Spoiler alert: he and his wife turn into trees and his fox runs away. Tell me that's not upsetting for an 8-year-old.

Hobos Tramps and Thieves

So now he's a phony crazy homeless hobo tramp liar. I just hope he's not a phony crazy homeless hobo tramp liar who leaves his cell phone on during the show.

Crazy Homeless Hobo Tramp Liar

You know, everybody--everybody--treated Columbo like a bum. He was the best detective ever and a really nice guy, and everyone treated him like a bum. I remember a particularly galling episode where a nun treated him like a bum. She was like, "Come inside, it's warm and we have soup." "Ahh, I'm sorry for the confusion ma'am but, actually I'm a detective, and I was wondering--" "No need to be proud, child, come in, have some soup." And Columbo, god bless him, he took the soup. And then he solved the damn mystery!

Columbo never made anyone feel bad for calling him a bum (he did play up his bum-like qualities at times). But I get the impression this guy can't WAIT to take Aunt Iris out after the show for goose liver and brandy.

By the Beard of Hobo Tramp Dan

Ohhh...! I've been wondering where this quasi-homeless man story arc was going. Is Hobo Tramp Dan going to scam Aunt Iris? Is he going to wind up being a billionaire who's slumming it up? No no no. Neither of those. Heh. It seems so obvious now. Hobo Tramp Dan is actually the god Zeus, disguised as a penniless vagabond, going from citizen to citizen to see who, if anyone, embodies the Roman ideal of charity! He'll reward those who offer him comfort with an ever-refilling amphora of wine; he'll punish those that dismiss him with death by drowning! Yup. I've read about this before. Just play along, Aunt Iris!

Drive-by Orchestra Attack

It's weird that even though she got beat up by the pit orchestra in the second panel, Aunt Iris still was able to pick up the phone without missing a beat (so to speak). And if Mr. Mallory thinks he can seduce Aunt Iris with salacious come ons, he's probably barking up the wrong tree. She likes some one a little older, wiser... like so many women, she's attracted to the Old Man River type.

The Gambler

Oh my gosh, Aunt Iris, please, you're embarrassing me! Show some respect for Kenny Rogers! He's never going to sing "Lady" to you if you keep treating him like a hobo tramp.

Hard Times in the Big City

I'm all for random acts of kindness, but I don't know if "sit here because roofs keep the rain out" really qualifies. I mean, she's just assuming that guy is homeless and doesn't know how roofs work because of his long beard and his bland-colored overcoat. And his interesting face, of course. Kind of a Gandalf meets Columbo vibe. Gosh. Maybe he'll ask for her help solving a murder mystery involving hobbits. What will Mr. Mallory think? Also, who's Mr. Mallory again?

Bald+Morebald, LLC

Aww...! Small firms are so cute! I wish the president of my company wouldn't be able to finish his rice pudding because of me once and a while. Or maybe they're upset because it's a three-person firm and they've both long since stopped designing.

Herriman+Goodfellas

I'm sorry, these plots have been moving so slowly and boringly that I couldn't bring myself to blog, even on the fact that no, Trey will NEVER take off his jacket and scarf. I only wanted to comment that Mr. Fowler

1. seems very nice


2. looks like a mob boss


3. will probably make Trey an offer he can't refuse

No Hurry

Ooh. Look at Tommie's classic Face-o-Panic in the second panel. She clearly thought the other girls' "tell alls" would take a little longer. They're still in line for the Tzatziki Bar, for heaven's sake!

I might have brought this up on this blog before, but does anyone remember the Brady Bunch episode where Jan pretends to have a boyfriend? George Glass? Don't ask me what made me think of that.

Dancing Zorba's

No talking about money, Tommie. You know I'm not going to help with the bill.

As Winter's Grip Weakens...

Ha ha ha. Oh Margo.

Margo: Who feels like working today? Not me! I, Margo Magee, declare it Long Lunch Day!
Tommie: Sounds like fun Margo, but I have to get back to the hospital, there really aren't enough--
Margo: I will get a steak, and each of you will buy me a double gin martini!
Tommie: Margo, I'm telling you, the ER is flooded--
Margo: Then we will go to the zoo! You guys will create a diversion while I sneak into the penguin cage for a hilarious photo op!
Lu Ann: Sounds like fun!
Tommie: Margo, seriously--
Margo: Tommie, hail us a cab!!

I Love You, Man

Well, it sure started snowing all of the sudden! I... I got nothing.

Like a Ton of Bricks

Oh. So nevermind about the gay thing. Maybe. But also nevermind about the "Bring Your Boyfriend to Work" thing being any kind of a deterrent to true love and true marriage and truly moving into a Murder Shack.

Life and Stuff

Commenter Gerard is really pushing hard for a controversial storyline where Margo has an unplanned pregnancy, but you know what else has never happened in Apartment 3-G? A gay couple! Look how cute these two look together. All smiles and giggles. At some point during their tour of the house, their hands will accidentally touch. A spark. Awkward eye contact. Nervous laughter. Trey will point out something about the architecture and that will be the end of it... for now.

Baby Baby Baby No

Joyless recap aside, can I just say: what happened to Tommie's makeover?? That haircut used to look so feminine chic and now it just looks plastered down Beiber cut. The Hair Cuttery is doing you no favors, girl! And we're still buttoning to the top button?? For shame! What would Mama Kat say?

Geeks of a Feather

Jeez, Tommie, look what you've done to Margo! First panel she's so psyched up that she's yammering on about her boyfriend being an alien, second panel she's sober as a judge. You're even worse at being girly excited than I am!