Crazy Apocalypse

Margo bot discovering feelings. Discovering existence of other people. Abort, abort.

Contemplation in Yellow

Margo, we also don't understand why you've chosen a blue shapeless windbreaker painter's smock and a pink turtleneck.  And why you suddenly care about planning your mother's wedding.  And why you've been standing in front of the same building for three strips.

What's Wrong With Me?

Pink turtleneck. Blue blazer. Aggressively yellow building. Green oldsmobile lurking in the background. Deep thoughts. Looks like Margo is ready to shoot her self-titled album cover!

The Yellow Brick Street

 

Yea, why does this keep happening? Is the man in the brown coat and fedora really Martin skulking outside of Gabriella's house trying to determine how much the Diane Devine wedding planning is really going to cost him?  Or is Margo just hallucinating very polite male strangers.

I wonder what Lu Ann is up to?

Not in the Mood

Margo's emotional laziness never fails to put a smile on my face. "I should apologize, but I'm not in the mood." "I should help my mom plan her wedding, but I'm starting to get sleepy." "I should maintain my relationship with my boyfriend / A-list client, but letter writing? What are we in, junior high?? I'll send him a text later."

Speaking of people I thought were Greg Cooper! Is this Margo's mysterious benefactor? Who's just... some random dude I guess? Or Greg in middle-aged hat-wearing disguise?

The Villain

I think you mean martyr, not villain, but I get the idea. Yeah, Diane! Stop being such a hot-shot superstar wedding planner villain martyr, Diane! Planning to meet the stylist and go to David's Bridal in one day Diane? Just don't expect to pull that kind of stunt without Margo's finger right up in your face! ...Diane!

Change of Plans

Wait, what was Margo's advice?  To go to the courthouse on a weekday and then just go to the Olive Garden afterwards?  Because at this point, that's the best advice that could possibly be given.  Sure, you can get much better Italian food almost anywhere, but people will totally load up on free salad and breadsticks and then eat less of their entrees, which will keep costs down.  Plus, old people think it's fancy.

Also, I thought Margo super didn't want to help plan this wedding.  So much so that she dumped it on Sam.  I'm confused.

Bridesmaid Dresses

So Gabriella's psychic pal is angling to... help her organize her wedding? This stinks. She isn't getting flimflammed by a psychic, she just hired a slightly superstitious wedding planner.

Margo of November 2014 would've been delighted by this new development, but I suspect she will not approve since it wasn't her idea. What a Scorpio! Suspicious, manipulative, and unyielding, just as zodiac-signs-astrology.com predicted.

Margo's Magic

Ah Scorpios...Loyal, passionate, resourceful and fiercely independent.  They require a second row of buttons to keep their passion in their blouses.  Full disclosure, sarcastic was not listed as an attribute of Scorpios on zodiac-signs-astrology.com.

Suck It Up

Based on our first week of interactions with Diane Devine, I'm really disappointed by how un-psychic she is. Are we sure she's not just really pushy? Is there a way someone could confuse "pushy" with "psychic"? She could've said she saw in a vision that it's Gabriella's destiny to wed at the House of Well Stones, but instead she's just like "It's really pretty, don't worry, Martin will deal." Come on. Juice up this paranormal stuff a little bit. The Mary Worth wedding storyline is more interesting than this, and they're getting married at City Hall.

Gabby's Dream

The Stonewell House is Gabby's dream, as in, Gabriella had a dream that she was at a wedding at the Stonewell House in England, but she could never quite see the groom's face, and then suddenly one of groomsmen, who looked like Mr. Carson from that British show about some Abbey, jumped out of a bush with a bejeweled sword hoisted above his head, and then this snake on the ground turned into this giant serpent and opened its mouth and Diane Devine leapt out in a blinding golden light, and Mr. Carson froze and turned into dust and blew away. And then there was this whole part where Gabby was wandering around a water park, but that's neither here nor there.

Dream or not, Margo looks pretty suspicious about this turn of events! She's all, "Okay, mom, spill."

Masterpiece

Oh man!  A Downton Abbey reference in A3G?   That's like...a current television show!  Maybe Shulock could watch an episode or two and learn about how to write compelling storylines.  An entire season of just Lady Edith moping about the castle would be a better storyline than anything in the recent history of A3G.

 I can see now why Martin isn't on board with the Stonewell House.  I mean he's rich, but not "get married in a European castle" rich.  That's reserved for your George Clooneys and your Justin Timberlakes.

Question

Hold on, world—I have a question. Are you aware of some kind of Stepford wives community on the Upper East Side, except for dowdy, prudish, pastel-lovin' ladies who take orders from psychics? Because I want in!

Incidentally! I'm a Taurus, and according to zodiac-signs-astrology.com (a keyword-generated URL if I ever saw one), I'm dependable, patient, generous, and stubborn. This is fun! I can't wait to hear what Casey is, even though I already know her birthday and looked up her sign. (Hint: it starts with "A" and ends with "quarius.")

Guiding Light

Just in case you were wondering, I'm a Capricorn.  According to zodiac-signs-astrology.com, I'm independent, a strong friend, and the perfect match for the man who enjoys a challenge.   I wonder what Margo is.

Diana Devine is a terrible psychic.  Everyone knows that you give the client a tease your reading, but say that you can't reveal the entirety without first running their credit card. 

Help Me Out Here

For example, at this moment, I've guided your mother to run out to the convenience store to get me cigarettes and Dove bars.

Devine

Sam was right about Diane. Never trust a psychic in a pink turtleneck.

So Soon?

Wait wait wait. Did Sam the assistant do nothing? I mean, he's ostensibly been helping to plan this wedding for at least a couple months, until getting exhausted by the interference of the cunning Diane Devine, off-panel psychic. But still, basic conversations about venue and bridesmaids have no doubt been had at this point! What else could Sam possibly have been doing since November?

Dumping on the poor artwork of a 90-year-old man is one thing, but the writing is really inexcusably stupid at this point. The only thing that will save this storyline is if my awesome theory is true: Sam is Diane Devine! Knowing the wrath of Margo that will rain down upon him if he admits he didn't even get in touch with Gabriella to help plan this wedding, Sam instead decided to put on a wig and pretend to be a fortune teller to get the whole damn thing cancelled. Certainly as plausible as any of this circuitous storytelling, AND involves dressing in drag, AND probably Robin Hood-like antics, AND eventually Margo's unbridled fury.

Decision Time

Seems like first things first would be to confirm that the groom still wants to go through with this and hasn't fallen back into his old lecherous ways whilst hanging out with Kojak at The Towers.

I'm sure the Stonewell House will have everything that you're looking for.  White walls, yellow trim, a squiggle painting or two...You will have to provide your own bowls of fruit, however.

At Gabriella's House...

Oh my gosh Mom! Look at us, all matchy-matchy. Did Thelma call ahead and tell you to wear that? Wait, are you... actually Thelma, after a quick dye job? Because your house looks suspiciously like a diner I ate at recently. In fact, do you serve breakfast pies?

Pie to Go

I can only hope that breakfast pies are going to be the cronut of 2015.  And I think we can all agree that Margo is a stress eater.