Monday, April 7, 2014

Same Story

Well actually, the weird thing is that she hasn't become a problem at all! She's been a dream deer. No pooping, no eating, no trashing the upholstery with her small, sharp hooves. No one's gotten Lyme's disease or even fleas. She takes quick showers. She cooks dinner twice a week. She's great! But I just know I'll lock her in her sleeping closet one day and forget her until six months later, when I open the closet and a tiny deer skeleton pops out.

7 comments:

Ken's Orange Overcoat said...

Exactly. The Lily situation might have worked as a zany, retro little-deer-in-the-big-city story, but nothing was done with it at all except for a few bleats, a feeding and a stilted conversation with Margo. I guess Shulock was going for an homage to some zany Doris Day movie or something. Or maybe she was copying the experience of one of her neighbors in rural New York who took in a fawn. Who knows?

I also love when Tommie reminds people she's a nurse and a darned good one. If I ever met a nurse who described herself like that, I'd have a sudden desire to see a drug test and/or her disciplinary record!

Elaine said...

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble getting past the idea that Tommie is just a nincompoop. Period.

Anonymous said...

When was the last time Tommie actually WORKED as a ''darn good'' nurse? She spent most of the past year vacationing in Italy, then her road trip to her mother's wedding, then her fiance's death (What was his name again? I'm thinking Jim?)& when she supposedly wanted to return to work ''A few weeks later'', her old timey nurse hat wearing supervisor wouldn't let her! In the real world, she'd probably need a refresher course by now!

molly said...

It's always the same story, Tommie. Girl hears deer getting hit in the road and stops to view the gruesome scene up close. She encounters a fawn, feral yet willing to jump into girl's arms and be whisked away to a Manhattan apartment, too small for even a lapdog. Girl shoves fawn into a closet, forgets about her for a few weeks while she makes love to her fiance, and then quickly mourns said fiance after he dies in a plane crash. Then girl loses job and drives out to EBF, NY to a large--domestic--animal vet who can't help her out. Oh ho-ho! If I had a dollar for every time I heard that old story, Tommie...!

JayKay said...

You hit it on the nose, Molly! The whole story is not only stupid, but improbable as well. Oh well, that's Apartment 3-G!

Barking Monkey said...

"And now she's become a problem, right? Stealing from your purse, raiding the liquor cabinet, slutting around from one trashy buck to the next, experimenting with drugs? You can take the animal out of the wild, Tommie, but you can't take the wild out of the animal, YOU...JUST...CAN'T!"

Maggie said...

Oh my god I love you guys so much right now