Why Would He Care?

"Why would he give a damn what your opinion was, Lu Ann? He could just ask a parakeet and get the same reaction." Oh Margo. Yes, there are more tactful ways of questioning Paul's intentions, but why bother?

Options

You guys are killing me right now. Can the Murder Shack explode in flames or be a secret meth lab or something?? Maybe you find some orphans inside? Maybe you find a treasure map? Maybe there's a deranged pschyotic killer dressed up like a circus clown? Just look inside the house!

Dad Worries

But enough about the house. You didn't actually want to see the house, did you Lu Ann? Let's check out this vacant lot!

This is Your Future

So, this isn't a weird third date, right ladies? Drive out for an hour to see a Murder Shack your boyfriend is thinking of fixing up, stand around listening to him talk about "taking the next step" with not-so-subtle undercurrents of "play your cards right and you could live here!" Maybe help him take some measurements, maybe get murdered in the basement, and then stop for pizza on the way back. Jersey's finest!

Upscale Murder Shack

Sometimes when I'm driving in an unfamiliar area, I'll see an abandoned property on the side of the road--a ranch house with all the windows punched in, an ice cream parlor sinking into the ground--and I think wow, what a murder shack. I say this because from the look of that overgrown yard/vacant house combo in the background, this is one of the nicer murder shacks I've ever seen. Amazing how a plant can cheer a place up!

Getting There is Twice the Fun

Whuh oh! Looks like somebody just realized she's being kidnapped. Either that or this is the grimmest flirty bantering I've witnessed in some time. Either way, very reminiscent of The Chase.

Sunday is Funday

Just wanted to share a few panels from this week's Sunday edition:

Margo does not talk to you for criticism, Tommie. She talks to you so you'll bring her coffee.

Ha ha! I'm just kidding. Margo didn't melt the face off of one of her roommates. She's counting on Tommie to become rich and famous and pay off the mortgage. Catch the real Sunday strip here.

I don't usually modify the comics; that's the work of Dean's Comic Booth, and I'm sure he won't be able to resist Tommie's brilliant set up here. Word of warning: Dean's Comic Booth is not for kids, unless they're very perverse children. Hide their eyes! You don't want them to know how Brutus Thornapple got where he is today!

Paying Me...?

Oh my god, so you guys are depending on LU ANN to bring home to bacon?? I don't even know what she does all day! I guess when Blaze said "I wish I could pay you more," Tommie understood it to mean he would pay her some small salary, and Blaze understood it to mean sweet, unpaid labor. It's not cheap to follow your dreams, Tommie... enjoy the fresh fruit while you can still afford it.

Not Exactly Comforting

Jeez, Christopher Robin, who asked you?

Checkbook Follies

I think Margo's dramatics are meant to a kickoff a "this gallery is hemorrhaging money" storyline that will dovetail with Trey's "art deco is the greatest" subplot and culminate in some crazy "Save the Mills" effort. Either that or Margo really is lamenting the appearance of her checkbook, as in it's a few loose pieces of printer paper rather than the cute little 3"x6" book she used to know. Also sad: she's run out of ink forged with the blood of her enemies, so now she has to use a pencil.

Buzzsaw of Expectations

Well it looks like Tommie has jumped into panel just to show everyone how bored she is by the bickerOH MY GOD LOOK OUT MARGO THERE'S A ROGUE BUZZSAW RIGHT BEHIND YOU AND IT LOOKS MAD!

Balancing Your Checkbook

I feel sheepish saying this, but I honestly don't know what it means to balance your checkbook. I do all my banking online, and I track my expenses with Excel. Now I question what I've been missing. I mean, it looks like Margo is having the time of her life. So set me up with a pencil, two sheets of blank paper, and the largest pot of coffee you can find, I'm ready to switch to manual financing!

Too Late Now!

I really want to hear Tommie's new songs. I really really want to hear Tommie's new songs. They're probably about love and loneliness, but what if she writes a rock opera?? What if she writes a rock opera based on Tazer Lady?? I can only hope Margaret Shulock and Frank Bolle have the common sense to put something together and release it on iTunes. Music doesn't have to be good to be popular!

Too Hot for Merchandise

Just a note of interest to those of you who don't read the Comics Curmudgeon (ha ha): THERE ARE T-SHIRTS. T-shirts that are both too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church. T-shirts and mugs and all sorts of things.

Want to let everyone know that you're too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church? Want to let them know via underpants? Click on, my friend.

To be clear, this is Josh Fruhlinger's store, the Comics Curmudgeon. All TFFH&THFC merchandise belongs to him, and the profits go his way. But come on, how can you resist this stuff??

Everything Changes

It changed everything... my claw-like grip on inanimate objects, the way lips connect far beyond the crease of my mouth... everything. I think it even changed your hairstyle for a minute there, Iris.

Awkward!

Whoa there, Margo! Slipping into Tommie territory, aren't you? Look at your maneater stare in panel two, and then somehow in panel three you've managed to jump back halfway across the room to accept a firm and hearty handshake from Trey. That doesn't sound like the Margo I know! Buuuut, when you talk about how you're hung up on your dead boyfriend five minutes before midnight, you bring this awkwardness on yourself.

Happy New Year, everyone!

I Don't Know What I Want

Ah, there's nothing like the moment a woman looks deep into a man's eyes and says, "I don't know what I want anymore, [your name here]." Margo was probably a hair's breadth away from adding "So kiss me, you fool!" before Trey offered to help with stuff. Doh! Who hasn't been here before, am I right ladies?

Grandmargo

Monday January 10, 2011
Tuesday January 11, 2011

Ah! Why does Margo keep making that weird over-the-shoulder Grandma-knows-best look? Ignoring for a moment the totally weird white-painted chain necklace, that outfit/hair/no makeup combo is really aging her. Trey isn't going to want to date you if he thinks you're Aunt Iris' mom! Speaking of which, Trey, where'd you get that jacket?

New Banner!

Check out the new banner! Inspired by Margo's wry observation made January 3rd. Who hasn't felt this way before?

In (sort of) related news, I just found out that my source for newspaper comics, the Washington Post, has stopped archiving their comics more than 30 days in the past. This saddens me. No longer can I find the precise date when Margo heard the words "More zippers, mule!" No longer can I look up Ray the Dope Fiend or the Ghost of Albert Pinkham Ryder.

Does anyone know a website for newspaper comics that has archives deeper than, say, two years ago?

A Bad Year

Technically Eric died in 2009 (which all the girls agreed was also a sucky year), so I wonder, is she talking about him, or is she talking about the fresher wounds of the psychological loss of her stepmother? If there's any way we can get this to be about Bobbie, I think I'd be happy.

New Year's Depressin' Eve

I'm sure you're all as shocked as I am to learn that Margo thinks Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve is bad TV! She doesn't even know what Ke$ha's going to say yet. From that cheery look on Trey's face, I would guess that he's going to "help" by providing Margo with some heavy-duty tranquilizers. Unless he's going to plant those fishy lips all over Margo's stoic pout. Ick. Cheer up guys!

Make Yourself at Home

I know you might be going out, so I'll make this quick, Margo. Take my coat and scarf for me, will you? I regret that you took my commentary as criticism. Hey, I could really go for a drink if you're going to the kitchen anyway. So yeah, it wasn't intended that way, and I'm sorry, and do you mind if I turn on the TV?

Happy 2011!

Well, I've had a great time on break, but I suppose it's time to get back to work. What did I miss?

As usual, I left the party just before it really got interesting. Margo's interaction with Bike Guy the Architect was like a monument to why she's the lifeblood of this strip. Consider their dialogue:

Iris: Trey, meet Margo Magee. Margo owns the Mills Gallery.

Trey: I'm familiar with the Mills. It has a fine reputation, Margo. Too bad about the building, though.
Margo: What's wrong with my building?!
Iris: Trey Brooks is an architect, Margo. He knows everything about the buildings in this city.
Trey: Well, maybe not everything, but I know that your building was an art deco classic. And now it's a disaster.
Margo: Really... how very interesting.
Trey: The Mills Gallery is one of my pet peeves, Margo.
Margo: And why is that, Mr. Trey Brooks?
Trey: Where do I start? It's dated, drab and boring.
Margo: Gosh, free advice from Mister Genius. Ain't I the lucky girl.
Trey: Open up the middle gallery, raise the ceilings, gut the reception area, and The Mills could be a great space. It wouldn't cost much to make it right.
Margo: Now I get it, you're job hunting! At a party!! Very classy, Mr. Brooks. Trey Brooks, you are a pompous, rude bonehead!
Trey: What's wrong, Margo?
Margo: Grrrrr!!

I will admit, I'm totally charmed that Trey refers to it as "The Mills."

As of January 5th, we're still waiting for New Year's Day to arrive, which, you know, happens. Are any long time readers of Apartment 3-G getting a whiff of early Eric Mills here? Isn't this how Eric and Margo got together? Margo was generally childish and atrocious to Eric and Eric was super-genial about everything and then there was smooching?

Smooooooching!