Sweet Dreams are Made of These

Uh oh. Danger Will Robinson. Slippery slope. Do not get involved. Abort. Abort.

Oh Dear.

I... I'm sorry guys. I thought since Aristotle is a professor, he would be talking with college-age kids. With the binge drinking. And the Twitter. I guess he's filling in for some other kind of couselor, as this lady has got to be in her forties.

But if it's not academic counseling we're talking about, I have to wonder: does the Professor have any qualifications to fill in for this Dr. Bryant? My guess is no. Nevermind the credentials; he's reviewing notes by looking at the outside of a manilla folder stuffed to the brim with papers. You've got to open the folder, Professor! Sheesh. Also, shouldn't counselors meeting their patients for the first time at least try to respect personal boundaries? He's leaning his entire head into her bubble.

I'm using Margo from now on when I type something that sounds dirty. It's nice to have a foil.

Counselor Aristotle

Oh Professor! I almost forgot to ask you about your new job that I didn't know you had because no one ever brought it up!

So... the new storyline is going to be about the Professor? Being a guidance counselor? I have to admit: I did not see that coming. I guess his college-age counselees will bring in a new, younger demographic that otherwise is totally neglected by this strip. Probably they'll all come to the Professor with problems about Twitter and sexting and whatnot. Plus binge drinking, of course! Okay, this should be good.

Who's Next?

Well! I think we're jusssst about to wrap up with the whole "grief" thing and all of its social awkwardness. From now on I want to see smiles, ladies! Not these half-assed Sally Forth-esque smirks! Time to move on dot org!

I do wonder who's going to get the next juicy plotline. Logically, Lu Ann's the next in line, but as we all know, Lu Ann is constanly getting the shaft when it comes to anyone paying attention to her. (You might say Lu Ann is the new Tommie.) We could be treated to more Margo, as she copes with Eric's death by losing herself in some kind of addiction, either throwing herself into her work or crawling into a bottle or maybe just luring a whole bunch of college age boys back to her room.

My dark horse vote: Ruby!

Brave Tears

I'm just going to say it: I think Margo's faking it. She's just too quick with that handkerchief! It's probably a ploy to get poor, sweet Lu Ann to buy her something. I like the first panel better, displaying Margo's thinly-veiled annoyance: "Yes, you can come in, Lu Ann. I guess since I'm awake that means you can just stroll through my room whenever you'd like. No, you're already in here, why don't you stay a while? I'll just fold my fire blankets later."

"Maybe Margo will talk to me."

Poor Lu Ann! Everyone's happy to talk about Thanksgiving with dead Eric, but still no one wants to talk about her dead boyfriend Alan. Probably because Eric died a hero and Alan died shot to death by an addict, having succumbed to drugs himself before starting to deal drugs, then cheating on Lu Ann and stealing money from Margo (which she either never found out about or never brought up), plus he never did any actual painting for the gallery but accepted advance payment... and blew it on more drugs.

Sooooooo yeah, I wouldn't bring him up either.

...in every possible way!

Well allright already! I guess we had to see this story through to its romantic conclusion, but this should really be it you guys! Margo's been talking so long she's ready to fall asleep. (either that or she's preparing to shed her exoskeleton... could go either way)

Now it's Lu Ann's turn; she's waited patiently (for almost a year) for her opportunity to relive her fondest memories of Alan. So Lu Ann, what was your favorite memory of OH MY GOSH, would you look at the time, when did it get so late, I have an early day tomorrow, I think I had too much black wine, thank you for a lovely meal, I'll take my cobbler to go, thanks, BY-YEEEEEEE!

The Sunday strip was pretty comparable to today's strip, but the throwaway panels were awesome:

I don't really know what to say about this except: WHOA. Adding a jovial "...in every possible way!" to the end of what might be perceived as a double-entendre could be the new "That's what she said!" ....but actually a lot more embarrassing.

Who's Up for a Latte?

"Hahaha! And then he died!"

Is that joke going to keep working?

Tommie's coming back with a latte cup... full of black wine, no doubt. You'll need it, honey! Meanwhile, Lu Ann has secreted herself away somewhere. Probably powdering her nose. Or choking back her many, many unshed tears. Or talking to ghosts! You never can tell with Lu Ann.

Check it Out

Notice anything different? Yes? No? Well. I updated header. I've wanted to for a while, but I just got a chance to do it. What do you think?

Remember Thanksgiving?

"Hahaha! And then he died!"

Tommie lurks cautiously, probably feeling a little timid without the Professor, who's probably off with Ruby somewhere. I'd put some dirty joke in here about Ruby's peach cobbler and the Professor getting dessert, but I think that would be in poor taste, no pun intended. Actually, that entire sentence came out way dirtier than I expected. Like, way dirtier. Yike.

Also, I thought this whole "Thanksgiving memories" was totally invented, but it turns out they're referring too Thanksgiving '06! (click here for a divine head bobble from Margo regarding said event) To be honest, I'm impressed!

And while I was wading around to see how far back the archives go, I found this comic that made me laugh out loud. Aw!

More Wine, Aristotle?

Whoa! The Professor is showing off his awesome strategy to avoid the social awkwardness of grief: recall another socially awkward occassion! Tommie looks a little unsure, but as long the subject remains Margo-centric, there shouldn't be any problems. Just keep drinking, guys!

Walking on Eggs (reprise)

Yes, Tommie, we know you feel like you're walking on eggs. And that still doesn't make any sense, and the Professor is still kind enough not to say anything about it. BUT this time, the Professor has some new-age advice to guide Tommie. I'm kind of excited to see if it will go as I expect it will.

Tommie: (bursts into 3G renewed and full of confidence) So! Eric was a
great guy, wasn't he?
Margo: Oh my God, could we PLEASE not talk about Eric right now!?
Tommie: (stunned, scuttles back to the Professor)

Also, glad to see the Professor decided to go au naturel.

Tommie Means Well, But...

Lu Ann is right. Grief is socially awkward. While Tommie time travels back to Sunday to reinvite the Professor to dinner, I have to figure out what to say about all these boyfriends dying without sounding insensitive. ....Too late? Anyway, come on, girls! Buck up! I'm sure you'll be able to find a couple of gentlemen who look just like Alan and Eric!

Never.

I can't explain Ruby's reaction in the last panel, because Lu Ann's terse-if-well-meaning response does not merit that exclamation of love and devotion. All I can say is: Ruby must've been really bored without Lu Ann.

Walking on Walking on Broken Eggs

Odd match up here with Tommie and Prof A! I don't think they've ever really talked before. And now they're having a conversation about having a conversation. Well, I think a lot of people have been in Tommie's awkward position of trying to comfort a friend while not really knowing the depth of emotion their friend is experiencing, so that's kind of nice.

Plus, a lot of people have also probably been in the position of talking with an older gentleman who has suddenly decided to start dying his hair. Prof, I'm going to be honest: it doesn't look so natural, and everyone can tell. How can you be the silver fox to Ruby's cougar if you keep hitting the Just For Men Gel?

And Across Town...

Ay carumba! Maybe this is the new happiest day of Gabriella's life. This all seems a little sudden, though. Unless Martin has been evicted and he really doesn't have any other home.

Margo Enters Her Room and...

Poor Margo. In her heart, nothing will ever be the same. Except, since this is Apartment 3-G, she will have to be interested in another guy eventually. It's really a weird thing about Apartment 3-G; there is no chance that any guy in this strip is ever going to stay together with one of these girls, no matter how compatible they are. They're just going to get killed by a dope fiend, or disappear in the Tibetan Himalayans, or move to Denver. All these relationships are doomed, DOOMED I tell you!

Moving On!

Well I guess "Are you ready to think about going home, Margo?" actually means "Grab your bags, the limo's outside and our plane leaves in two hours," because we are SO OVER the whole India thing! As soon as Margo found out Eric was "gone," she was all, okay, meet the Dalai Lama, shake hands, smile, yeah yeah, call a cab back to the hotel, pack as quickly as possible, remember Eric fondly and LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

I mean, I presume we're in New York City here, right? No cabby from Dharamsala would wear guyliner, right? But ......no cabby from New York City would wear guyliner. Much less call someone "mister!" Hey, where are we?!

At the Small Airport...

So it looks like the Small Airport appears to be in the middle of the desert... or maybe it's the badlands. Maybe Cody decided to take her to a National Park instead. Lu Ann probably won't know the difference for a good three or four hours.

Oh, Daddy!

Huh. Some serious bonding must've occurred between this slap in the face turned back-handed compliment and today, because Lu Ann is suddenly all about her pops. With Margo off travelling the world with her once-estranged pappy, I guess this is the Summer of Father-Daughter Reciliation. Hey, have we ever seen Tommie's dad? I... I bet she's an orphan or something. Does anyone know?

I was hoping we'd get a big family reunion going before she left, but there's still hope: Lu Ann promises she'll be back... THANK GOD. I just can't get enough of South Dakota!

Lucky, the Horse that Got Away

Oh that Cody! He's so jealous of the horse, he made him disappear in the third panel. That said, this romance never even got close to taking off. Probably the kerchief and black hair made him look too Blaze-like, and Lu Ann will not be a party to kissing cousins.

I am positively delighted with Lu Ann's expression in the last panel. Is the word I'm looking for "vacuous" or "fatuous"? Why can't it be both?

Sunday Recap

Okay, so I slacked off this Sunday. I thought, oh, Apartment 3-G always does a kind of cheapo recap, I can afford to leave the laptop off and take several naps instead. HOW WRONG I WAS. I missed so much!

First, I missed Margo not meeting the Dalai Lama! I guess that wasn't exciting enough for us to see. Probably a lot of handshaking and smiling, blah blah blah. Instead, we skip right to the action: the hotel room conversation about thinking about going home!


THEN I missed the reappearance of Ruby and the Professor. The Prof looks pretty surprised in the second panel when Ruby says how much she's missed Lu Ann... I'd be surprised too.




And finally, I missed some guy who isn't Blaze but does wear a kerchief try to hurry Lu Ann along to the airport. Come ON, Lu Ann! You don't want to miss that flight! Wait... were they riding the fence line?!

Sister Act

Well I guess we heard everything we needed to from Lu Ann and Tommie! My how they drag on sometimes.

So now, these two. How the tables have turned, Margo! It burns deep, doesn't it? Nora's probably not doing it to be mean, but her incessant niceness has got to be grating on Margo. Earlier this year she scolded Nora for giving up hope on Tim, and now instead of throwing that back in her face, Nora's all, "We're sisters now, GF!" Sisters in assumed-dead boyfriends!

Or perhaps learning that revenge is a dish best served cold... frozen to death under a pile of snow near the Tibetan border. Ah, too soon?

Oh My God the D Word!!

I think this is the first time someone has said "death" in Apartment 3-G. You can see Tommie preferred to trail off indefinitely... she probably would've added "the accident" or "you-know-what" if Lu Ann hadn't jumped in.

So Lu Ann's coming back. Finally! But I wonder if we're really not going to get any kind of story arc from this 8-month jaunt to South Dakota. It'd seem a waste to ignore such juicy details of Lu Ann's life on the ranch, like how boring her paintings are and "riding the fence line" (with a BOY!). Mostly, though, I have to ask: are they gonna leave us hanging on the whole young steers thing? I mean.... that really could've gone somewhere.

Later That Evening...

After mulling it over for a couple hours, Tommie decided, yes, I will call Lu Ann. After all, she has a lot of experience with dead boyfriends. "Hey Lu Ann, what did I say to you when your boyfriend Alan died?" "Well Tommie, you kind of implied he was dead, and then you ran off to snuggle with your creepy fish-lipped boyfriend." "Lu Ann, I wish you wouldn't use the word 'fish-lipped.'"

Tommie's having no trouble reaching Lu Ann on her cellphone, despite the fact that she's on the ranch in South Dakota. She must be with Verizon Wireless, America's largest 3G network. Am I right?

That'll Help!

Phew! Let's take a break from the monastery with the B-plot, shall we?

"There must be something I can do to help!" seems like an odd reaction to finding out your friend's boyfriend just died. Sort of like saying, "There must be someway I can bring him back to life!" That's Tommie's "nurse's instinct," I suppose. You can't play God with everyone, Tommie!

More puzzling is Gabriella's suggestion that Tommie call Lu Ann. I guess she means Tommie should call her to break the news so Margo won't have to, but I read it like, maybe you could call Lu Ann and she'll have some ideas to bring Eric back to life. Am I the only one reading it this way?

Actually, Saints are Usually Christian

Am I surprised that A3G hasn't dissolved into so much punching, with Margo violently lashing out against the Tibetan monks? Yes. Yes I am. However, if she's saving up all her strength for one superpunch for the Dalai Lama, I guess that will be worth it. After all, we know Margo's contempt for saints.

How to React...

I've been late on commenting, mostly because I'm troubled by Margo's reaction to the end of Lodi's story. First tears...

Saturday August 1, 2009

...then shock...

panels from Sunday August 2, 2009

...then finally--finally!--skepticism.

Monday August 3, 2009

Look at Lodi in the second panel. He is begging to be punched in the face by Margo, and she looks like she's at least thinking about it. Don't let his fleshy crocodile tears fool you, Margo! He's hiding something! Make him crawl through the snow on his hands and knees to look for Eric.