Naked Christmas!!

The Professor has forgotten about Christmas in Queens so fast it'll make Ruby's head bobble. "Let's do something crazy" probably isn't the exact phrasing he was hoping for, but it'll do, by God! Now let's get back to the hotel, have a couple drinks, and take off our clothes!

To the savvy reader, Bobbie's "top of the world" high can be explained three ways:

1. good news from P.I. Alecx
2. the least effective sleeping pills ever
3. unbridled and unconditional love of poinsettias?
   

For me it would be number three, of course! They're lovely and festive.

Merry Christmas, everyone! I'll be back in a few days, unless the Professor and Bobbie really do get naked in print, in which case I would be forced to post. A Christmas miracle!

Party of Four

Boo! Margo, the Professor, and Bobbie all aren't going to the party? They were the ones that were going to make this interesting! Now it's just going to be Ruby and her boyfriend making out on the couch and Tommie drinking a lot to endure the awkwardness of hanging out with Lu Ann (who I bet is a teetotaler). Might be interesting to see for a few panels, but sooner than later we'll be begging to watch the Professor file paperwork.

That's a little unkind, actually. My favorite part of the The Mary Tyler Moore Show was that Mary always threw terrible parties. Sad for Mary, but nothing's funnier than a bad party. So, okay, I'm back on board with Christmas in Queens!

I'll be in Queens for Christmas

Hahaha! If the Professor had coffee in his mouth when he heard Ruby's invitation, it would've been all over Tommie's jacket by now. The Professor is shocked that not only does Ruby have friends in Queens, but that she has friends, period. (hitherto the most he could say about her was that she had a lot of neighbors) This is probably what the conversation sounded like from the Professor's point of view.

Professor: Hi, Tommie.
Tommie: Professor, I was hoping I'd run into you. Ruby invited us all to a Christmas party in hell.
Professor: Ruby has friends?! and they live in hell?
Tommie: She does now. That's where her Satan-worshipping blood-drinking ethnic-food-eating boyfriend lives.

This is going to be great! The Professor will of course invite Bobbie to tag along, and then they'll be awkward tensions between the Professor and Ruby, and Bobbie will make a lot of snide comments, and probably the night will end with Margo having another tremendous mood swing and burning the place down. I love the holidays!

Whoa there, Mata Hari

Gabriella knows how Martin feels about waiting, since she used to be his servant, but the rest of us are left to guess. What horrors did he visit on Gabriella when she was off schedule with his morning coffee, or a day late changing the sheets? In any case, it's not enough to deter her from wanting to get back into Martin's life/good graces/pants. But if she thinks it's a good idea to doublecross Margo, she is so hilariously wrong. Don't give her any more excuses than she needs to start lighting things on fire.

Speaking of which, I think Casey has a valid point about burning down the Mills Gallery. Not only would it provide an emotional release, but depending on the Gallery's insurance situation, it would be an easy way to wriggle out of all that debt that has got to be piling up.

Back from Sunny Florida!

Hi everyone! It's me, Maggie! I'm back from Gainesville with no tan to show for it. I had a lovely time though. If you're ever in the Florida area and you need an architectural photographer, may I recommend Robert Pepple? He's a gem and a lot of fun to work with, which I think is important because I'm a Millennial. Check out this fork sculpture we made!

Perfectly. Balanced.

I want to give a big thank you to my friend Casey who contributed three fine posts in my absence that either met or excelled my standards for humor and punctuality. Plus she told not even one embarrassing story about me. That's friendship.


But now I'm back and behind schedule, so let's see what's going on with Margo today!

Ooh. We all thought Margo was inheriting big money, but it sounds like all she gets is stuck holding the bag with the Mills Gallery. I don't think it's any secret that the Mills Gallery is pretty much a money pit. Art isn't really a hot commodity in this economy, and the last time the Gallery had an exhibit was almost two years ago. Actually, Margo's been in charge of the Gallery since Eric tromped off to Tibet, so I don't know why she's being so "WHY ME?!" about it, except that now she's financially responsible for all the debt she's racked up over the past year. All those two martini lunches are coming back to haunt her.

Meanwhile, jeez, would you turn around and face your mother when you talk to her! I don't think my mom would talk to the back of my head for this long.

Zzzzzz

That look in the second panel is pretty telling to me. Margo is currently plotting Eric's niece's untimely demise. Not that it'll really help her at all, but she just doesn't like to share.

And why has everything this week been like, white and blue and gray? It's really putting me to sleep. Did the colorist run out of other colors?

Maggie picked a pretty bad week to go on her business trip, because I've been hecka busy this week - yeah Maggie, let's try to make things more convenient for me next time, shall we? ;) But anyway, even though I've only had about 5 minutes to devote to coming up with something to say here and posting it up, it's been fun! Thanks for being gentle, readers! Maggie will be back tomorrow. I hope. Bye!

Brace Yourself, This Is the Greatest Story Ever

I sadly have very little to say about this strip, except that Margo is being a little overdramatic. I mean, if I were Gabriella and Margo came to me and said "Eric's will was read today, mama. Well, that's all. See you later," I think I'd be a little disappointed. So yeah, I'm pretty sure there's more to the story Margo, let's just stop throwing around terms like "brace yourself" willy-nilly - I think she's braced. You could at least say "brace yourself, there's a really cool ending to this story."

Empty Threats

So I know I said I wouldn't update until late, and that I'd basically singlehandedly ruin Maggie's blog. But I guess I'm just an old softy, because I realized that I have magic time jumping capabilities and can actually get tomorrow's comic today *on the west coast* so I figured I might as well update. YOU'RE WELCOME, WORLD.

I really like today's A3G, which is why I'm actually commenting on it instead of doing what I'd planned. Maybe tomorrow, but I'm pretty lazy so who knows? Anyway, I guess the whole Eric's will thing could be pretty emotionally draining, but I still don't buy that Margo had a difficult day. Have we gotten an actual number value on her inheritance? I'd like to think that what she means in the second panel is "YOUR money, power, and connections can't fix everything.... because now I have my own. Also, I'm made of ice so the snow doesn't bother me."

This is kind of off topic, but can we assume Tommie is in the process of throwing herself off a bridge? Fingers crossed.

White Christmas

God, it is white out today! Can't see more than three feet in any direction for the whiteness. Martin, do you think this is the best day to be driving your all white car, with white leather interior and white reflective windows? Maybe he drove that on purpose to sneak up on Margo. It didn't work out so well, with the dialogue devolving into a PSA for not accepting car rides from strangers or your dad. Always set up a password with your parents, kids.

Well guys, it's been fun! I'm off to sunny Florida on a business trip for most of this week, but one of my friends suggested I try installing a guest blogger while I'm out. After all, we can't afford to miss a day of this action-packed plot! My longtime friend and sometimes commentator Casey will be filling in for me while I'm gone. It's her first time blogging so... please be gentle.

Goodbye, Tim

Yes, it's a long drive to Tibet or wherever. Thanks for the offer Tim, but I need to walk... down to Saks Fifth Avenue. This money isn't going to spend itself, and I should really get something for Lu Ann and my maid Tommie. It's the holiday season after all!

Tim seems a little taken aback by Margo's display of affection... he probably hasn't heard very warm things about her from his wife Nora. I'm not sure if it's a genuine hug or if she's trying to dig her hooks into him as deep as she can... she's probably already missing the other 50% of the inheritance.

Dollar Bills, Y'all!

You were silent in the attorney's office, but you're allowed to say it now, Margo: PAYDIRT!! Whoooo! What color turtlenecks do you think she'll buy first??

Also, let us briefly observe what a subtle and nuanced euphamism "left the country" is for death. It's like "went on vacation" for adults.

Tim?!

Weird expression on Margo in the second panel. Maybe she was expecting to see Tim Mills'
Journal, not the man himself, but if that's the best brave smile she can muster, she's in trouble. Where are they, anyway? Are they outside, or is that a blue accent wall? Attorneys are such a colorful bunch.

Oh, How I Dread This

Oh, so Margo's still alive! That's good. And Eric's still dead. That's bad. But at least Margo is present enough to keep up with the fashion trend that's sweeping New York City: white turtlenecks! Bobbie can't get enough of them. Alecx can't buy them fast enough. Add a jacket or blazer and you'll look as regal as a captain on a tugboat. Although I will say, I'm surprised Margo isn't wearing a hat. Judging by the background characters, at least 78% of New Yorkers wear hats.

in BLOOD!!!

I'm starting to wonder what Bobbie thinks her husband that's so awful, in addition to cheating on her with a younger women. Maybe she thinks her husband is cheating on her with her twin sister, Bibbie. OR BETTER YET, her twin brother, Robbie. Yess. And they're emotionally invested in each other. Double points. In any case, she's pretty rattled for a lady with a stone for a heart.

Thump

Ah!! Okay, the thing about Bobbie is, she's supposed to be pretty, right? Or at least alluring and well dressed? Or something! And most of the time she looks borderline normal, which is the best we can hope for maybe. But once a week or so her face transforms and she looks terrible! I don't know who she looks like in the second panel, but I think it's Jughead. And NO woman wants to hear that.

Meanwhile, I will take that tiny "thump" sound effect to mean that Alecx's chest is an empty, heartless cavern. Probably the right choice for Bobbie, if only he could figure out what she wanted to hear.

Look, Bobbie...

Sorry for the lame post yesterday. I was on a tight deadline at work, but I felt like I had to say something. Yet there was nothing to say yesterday, and there's pretty much nothing to say today either, except that you would think a professional private eye would have higher grade photographical equipment than an iPhone. Give me a reason to snark on you, Apartment 3-G! I need character development, rising action, plot twists, crazy outfits, angry Margo, ghosts, anything!, not a retreaded plot point from a month ago!!

That's Not His Style

I don't know about this Alex Alec character. What more can I say?

On the Lower East Side?! .......is that bad?

Okay, this is kind of embarrassing to confess, but even though I live in New Jersey, I don't spend that much time in New York City. Like, at all. All I know is that I like to party in Koreatown. Could someone who lives in New York, or knows New York, or at least watches Sex in the City, tell me how justified Bobbie's reaction is?