Words to Be Haunted By

Oh Margo. Sweet, bitchy Margo. How you will regret your flippance when you father's been shot.

Meanwhile, how nuanced has this strip gotten recently? Is Gabriella foreshadowing the violence to come by quickly restyling her hair after Javier Bardem's character in No Country for Old Men?

It's not a look for just anybody.

"She Seemed Normal at the Time..."

UM YEAH HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED ALL THE RED FLAGS?? I know I'm being an armchair quarterback here, but if I was dating a guy, and he came into my office and cursed me out for not looking over paint samples with him, I'd probably think "psycho" instead of "what a guy!"

Perhaps the Professor can help more as a friend than as a Doctor. You know, since he's not a Doctor. I'm liking Dr. Bryant more and more. He's one subtle guy.

Oh $#*@.

I just love the Professor in that last panel. It's such a classic "oh shit" moment: face frozen, clutching the phone for dear life, absense of any noticable reaction while his mind screaming "OH CRAP OH CRAP THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE I'M TOTALLY SCREWED."

Meanwhile Dr. Bryant looks happy as a clam to describe how crazy his old pal's girlfriend is. "Yup, the pills used to work, but she stopped taking them because she's crazy! Chuckle chuckle! You still there buddy? 'Cause there's more."

The Professor today reminded me of one of my favorite A3G panels in recent history:

The Professor has a perfectly good reason to be dumbstruck in his panel; Lu Ann, sadly, does not. Here's my post on the panel for context.

A Dicey Situation

"Look Dr. Bryant. If you're going to tell me that she's married, or has an addictive personality, or exhibits manic-depressive tendencies, I already know all that! What I really want to know is: what is she looking for in a man? Does she like the intellectual professor type, or the sensitive counselor type? Does she like full beards, or will she settle for a goatee? Is she a Taurus? I bet she's a Taurus. She is stubborn as a bull. She's no Virgo, I'll tell you that!"

Ahhh... okay. Let's please let this conversation lie and get back to some gun-toting action!

This is a Surprise

Uh oh. Not in my dullest dreams did I imagine this big payoff, this beautiful reveal that has taken months of set up and teasing and waiting, always patiently waiting... never did I imagine it would be exposed so boringly. A calm, sit-down PHONE CONVERSATION between the Professor and DR. BRYANT, a character so minor that he hasn't even been in the strip since September??! Oh God. This can't be it. Please no. Cut away to Bobbie, Margaret, cut away!

OhPleaseOhPleaseOhPlease

Ah. I think we all know that feeling of being in over your head, overwhelmed, or underprepared, and praying everytime the phone rings that there has been some sort of Horrible Accident (a fire, a hurricane, an unexpected sinkhole) that delays or cancels the event.

I remember back in grade school I was in grade school, I was getting ready to go to piano lessons, having not practiced at all the past two weeks. As I sullenly packed my bag with piano music, my mom got the call that my teacher had suffered a heart attack. I just stared at her when she told me. I was a little relieved for myself, but at what cost? I should've just practiced, I remember thinking.

Willing to Wait

"Happy?" "Willing to wait?" "Love?" Margo looks downright perplexed. Makes you kind of wonder about her relationship with Eric, but probably not more than you already did.

Also folks, I think we're jumping the gun (so to speak, oh ho ho!) on when Bobbie's going to burst in on this scene. I know, last week's antics pumped me up too, I am psyched for this eventual payoff, but there's no way we see that bad boy until after Easter... maybe Memorial Day. You've got to be willing to wait as long as it takes with this strip.

I Accuse My Parents

I'm trying to figure out everyone's reactions in the last panel. Martin looks like he's embarrassed Margo brought that up, since he was hoping Gabriella forgot. Gabriella looks like she did forget and is checking Martin's face for signs of guilt. And Margo, that little spitfire, she just loves to point that finger, doesn't she? "Finger-pointin' Magee" they called her back in college.

Fiddle Faddle!

God I love Margo! The only thing that makes me okay with getting torn away from the Tale of Bobbie and the Bandit is getting to hear Margo's catty inner monologue.

She's sounding a little paranoid in panel two, and she definitely doesn't want to go back to the apartment... Maybe she's going to rustle up another green-hooded vagrant and buy a gun off of him!

gasp

What if Bobbie and Margo get into some kind of old timey duel?? Burr v. Hamilton, Jackson v. Dickinson, Merrill v. Magee??? I... I think I'm dreaming too big.

Crazy Woman Bingo!

Hahaha! When I looked at yesterday's comments, I was like, "Crap, I blew it one this one. Marguerite is totally right, she's going to hire him as a hit-man, it makes no sense that she would risk trying to kill him herself." But apparently, yes, she is comfortable waving around her own pistol! How... responsible?

For a brief moment, I thought they were going to team up and rob BANK, but alas, that even wackier plot twist was not to be.

Dah! The W Word!

Didn't think Bobbie would continue being so smart alecky about the situation, especially after being called the W word. She even tosses around some casual finger pointing. No idea what she's pointing to, since it's politely below panel, but I'm not sure what I think of trying to negotiate with street thugs. Oh that Bobbie! She's so impulsive.

So let's think about some scenarios here.

1. He doesn't have a gun, but bludgeons her and takes her purse anyway (not likely)
2. He doesn't have a gun, so he gets embarrassed and scampers away (more likely, but dumb)
3. He does have a gun and pistol whips her and takes the purse (more likely in real life than here)
4. He does have a gun which he decides to sell for all the money in her purse (most likely)
   

All right, dirtbag, your move!

Uh oh!

I was kind of hoping my commenters were right and the guy in green would wind up being a poorly drawn Martin or Gabriella, but it turns out it's just some thug. A pretty gutsy one, purse snatching in a busy city in broad daylight! Um, hey, where is everyone? Maybe Bobbie's lawyer is located in a rundown, unpopulated part of town... like the Pink Brick district.

Look, it's not that I don't believe this doesn't occasionally happen, it's just that in New York City, I think there would be at least a couple of witnesses who would just be too scared or indifferent to help. And I'd think a purse snatcher in this town would have a bit more sophisticated technique than, "Gimme the purse, lady!" I've ever been a victim of purse snachery, though... anyone have a story to share?

Step Aside, Ye Knave!

WHOA, awesome! Who is THAT? Is that supposed to be a full raincoat, or some kind of angular hoody? Or is it a cloak and this guy is a straight-up comic book villian? In any case, he's looking pretty menacing, and yet Bobbie could care less. I think she assumes anyone wearing a garment with a hood must be a homeless person... probably begging for money to buy booze... booze she could be drinking! Ah Bobbie, you warm my heart right to the very bottom!

Any Ideas, Jack?

Hahaha! My reaction exactly, Margo. Look how calm and poised she looks in the first panel, and then how intensely worried she looks in the second. I'm going to go out on a limb here, Jack: do you think Lu Ann is perfect for the job because she's the only artist you know? Because I'm sure you could find a couple more in New York friggin City.

Over a (Liquid) Business Lunch...

I don't see any tables. They look like they're mingling at a party, or are they having their business lunch at a bar? God I wish I watched Mad Men. I just don't understand this fast-paced business world! I would probably just focus on arranging exhibits and staying sober, but that's why no one lets me manage an art gallery, I guess. An artists' salon is probably a great idea. Is that like a pet salon?

Lunch Date

Well good for Margo! Sounds like she's over the whole "grief" thing. You know what? Jack is so old, I bet he's a widow, and they'll find solace in each other's arms, and that will lead to my favorite thing: fumbled embraces and whispered apologies. Maybe in about two years. And THEN Eric will come back, frost still clinging to his jacket. I really do think that's coming. Maybe in about three years.

Oh, I'll Wrap Up This Scene, All Right!

"Oh, I'll think about it, all right!" is one of those feeble things you say when you're trying to muster up your last shred of dignity in the most transparent way possible. Oh Bobbie will consider that offer from her husband, but she'll think about it in a very defiant manner. You got that??

I hope this is not the last we see of James Lipton. If Heaven exists, I wonder what he'd like God to say to him when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

Scrumtrulescent

James Lipton proves why he's the best in the biz: thoughtful, provoking questions that produce honest, crazy answers. So brazen pettiness is the only thing that will hurt Martin? This explains a disappointing lack of violence in this story arc thus far, as well as Margo's general demeanor.

Or maybe Bobbie literally doesn't own any weapons... yet. Maybe tomorrow James will suggest use of conventional weapons ("Have you considered challenging your husband to a knife fight?") and then this story will REALLY get going! Hope, people.

The Best Things in Life Are Free

As troll-like and scary as she looks here, I kind of do feel bad for Bobbie. Her husband trying to pay her off to get rid of her is kind of heartbreaking. But then, we've learned that that's all Martin knows how to do - use money to fix his problems. He's trying to build his family with Gabriella and Margo by spending money, but not on them, so they can't get mad. Right? He's got to learn that it's not all about cash! See, Martin, just move to Utah and marry Gabriella there, it's all good, and she'll be swooning at your romantic gesture. (No offense to any of our Utah friends out there. I know polygamy isn't 'legal' there.)

Man, this whole Martin theory better pay off someday.

A Deal You Say?

I think we all saw this coming, but I love bobble-head Bobbie's reaction to the news. I'm digging her complete shock at this turn of events. Oh, you made a deal that you wouldn't get divorced? Yeah, isn't that called "getting married"? Like, I take you forever and ever even if you dye your hair some hideous shade of yellow and turn out to be a bipolar radiator-obsessed pill-popper? So why are you so astonished that he'd go back on this sketchy "deal" to hold on to your sham of a marriage for the sake of apperance?

But hey, now the Professor can feel better about his relationship. Go get 'er, Prof. You win, I guess....

Not Exactly...

"No, no... I have this screenplay I'd like you to read. It's about this prison warden...."
OK, too obscure?
Thanks to McClure for the inspiration, because I had literally nothing to say about today's strip. Maybe her husband hired PI Alecx and found out she was cheating and she's gonna get screwed in divorce court. Woo!

Inside the Lawyer's Studio

"No, I just wanted to ask you a few questions. What is your favorite curse word?"
Please tell me I'm not the only one who saw him.

I really worried for a second there when I saw the words "tax lecture," but maybe something will come of this yet.

You Can't Go....! Well, Guess It's My Lunch Time....

You know, I don't like to brag, but I think I must have some kind of magical powers. I mean, look at the evidence. I ask to see Tommie, and she appears. I ask to see anyone BUT Tommie, and wham. It's Bobbie time!
Speaking of magical powers, I think Bobbie must be wielding some major ones herself. She's not only able to render the Professor powerless, but has clearly stricken this poor receptionist (receptionists? I think she got some plastic surgery between panels 1 & 2) with some kind of paralysis (though she IS able to get some finger-wag action in there). This strip opens up limitless possibilities! I'm so excited. Let's examine some of them, shall we?

a) Bobbie's husband is there! (Martin?!)
b) Margo is there! (with Martin?! for some reason)
c) Arnold Ackerman is having some kind of torrid affair in there! Maybe with someone we know. Lu Ann? She hasn't been around much, right?
d) The receptionist is just legimately concerned that Bobbie is storming into the lawyer's private meeting with another client, who has no connection to Bobbie or anything particularly interesting about him/her. Bobbie will come in and berate the lawyer in vague terms for a few days, mostly recapping what we already know and then presumably leaving while we turn our focus to the Professor, who will be resolving to dump her yet again.

I'm personally predicting option d, since it's pretty much been the pattern of late. I'm hoping for b or maybe a, not c because the way I'm picturing Arnold Ackerman, I don't think I want to see that.

e) Choose your own adventure! What do you think will happen when Bobbie goes into the lawyer's office? If I like it enough, I'll make it happen with my magical powers.*


*disclaimer: no guarantee of actual magical powers or ability to make things happen in a comic strip that was written months ago.

Form of.... Bore!

I wish you would TRANSFORM by going on that TV show, Tommie. You playing piano is pretty much as boring as you talking about playing piano.
It worked last time so.... I wonder what Margo's up to! Ruby? Lu Ann? ANYONE?

Hi again!

What's put that sparkle in your creepily skin-colored eye?

Oh, Professor, how good of you to wave off Tommie's wide-eyed concern over growing old alone. "Since things suck so much for you now, Tommie, it's really quite possible they'll get easier. But let's not talk about that, because then you'd become my patient and I'd have to sleep with you. Damn my moral convictions!!"

Do I? Do I Say That?

I wonder what the Professor considers their first date. That fateful day at Wardle's, perhaps? Love was heavy in the air that day, and so was the scent of waffle syrup.

Well Professor! Tommie says you tell people to follow their hearts, and even though I've never once heard you say that, I agree! Maybe if things go well and you don't enfuriate Bobbie somehow, you can propose a second, alternate marriage.

In any case, I'm going to leave you to deal with this problem that you've been wrangling with for two solid months now. Remember yesterday when I was all sad that I was still in New Jersey? Well, my vacation is back on and I'm leaving the country tomorrow morning! Goodbye, seeya, I'll take pictures! I will once again leave you in Casey's gentle embrace. Hopefully. Hey Casey, what are you up to?

Back on the Block

Well hello everybody! It's me Maggie! I'm here in New Jersey, fighting a stomach flu, instead of lying on the beach drinking pina coladas like I was planning! AND I'M OKAY WITH IT! Heh.

So uh, let's see what's going on here.

Oh Tommie... sweet Tommie. That hair. I never thought Prince Valiant would compare favorably with any of my girls. When is I Dressed in the Dark going to call back, for heaven's sake?? I hardly recognized her.

And WHO GOES TO A CAFE TO DRINK PLASTIC CUPS OF WATER?? You guys are New Yorkers, demand the best! If you're not going to get coffee, you could at least go for a trendy cup of tea, or add a slice of lemon to that plain water, or insist on a fancy glass, something! Unless... that liquid is opaque, isn't it? Oh god, you guys are drinking milk?? I can't take you guys anywhere.