What Up With That

Tuesday September 28, 2010

Wednesday September 29, 2010

Lu Ann is right. What is UP with Jack?? Panel three on Tuesday is one of my favorites in a long time. "Oh, just talking. Chit chat. AND IT'S KILLING ME INSIDE."

And then he goes from shocking dispair right back to, "Oh Doris, you rougish waif!" All while somehow transporting Margo and Lu Ann onto the other side of the room. What's UP with that?

Sweet Sweet Doris

Dorrrrrisssssss...! Why you gotta be stirring up shit that Lu Ann clearly doesn't remember? She could've had a precious few more seconds of thinking she was tight with Margo (according to the thought process Margo = liked old hair = friend!) instead of being racked once again with the suspicion that, yes, just days after "teaming up" with you Margo's talking shit about you again and yes, it's probably centered around a catty remark about your precious hair that will hurt you deeply. Because that how Margo does.

Poor Lu Ann

Please let it be about how stupid Lu Ann looks with her new hair. She'll never be curator now!

Incidentally, it seems Lu Ann is the new Tommie. And it's really getting annoying. First of all, as a brunette I'm a little offended by her attitude toward brown hair - even if her hair is only borderline brunette. Secondly, as a rational human being I'm offended by her inability to SHUT UP FOR ONE MINUTE ABOUT HER DAMNED HAIR.

That's a Good Girl

I like how the "dark corner" seems to be just as light as the rest of the restaurant. And that Ruby seems to have stolen Kat's pearl necklace. I just find it hard to believe that Ruby walked up to Kat, showed her pictures of Lu Ann, Tommie and Margo and said "Look at those three, they look ridiculous, they need a makeover! Now excuse me, I need to go out and find a chartreuse satin ribbon to match my new cardigan. Don't you just love my oblong, translucent white earrings? I think they really flatter the curve of my lobes."

As an individual with naturally curly hair, I find myself slightly offended by how much Lu Ann hates her hair. Just because it only looks really good on days with zero percent humidity doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a try. That being said, Lu Ann does kind of look like a cocker spaniel:

What Ruby should have done was just give Lu Ann a nice pat on the head and a Milkbone.

Don't Anger the Margo

That's also what Bobbie said.

I really like Margo in panel 1. She looks more disgusted than mad, but I would NEVER trust Margo saying "I'm not really mad." Isn't her default state "mad"? She's just biding her time until she can take her sweet, sweet revenge - not just on Martin but on everyone. Especially Kat. Don't think you'll get away with this, Kat.

Leslie and Marcie!

OMG, Tommie has a black friend! Is she only half a shade away from being as white as Tommie herself? Maybe. But this is major progress nevertheless. It's like the whole strip is getting a make over!

That said, I think Tommie's getting a little too into the new Tommie Thompson. (I bet she starts going by Abigail soon) Ending her sentence with a wistful "promise?" combined with that weird, exaggeratedly sentimental look is a bit theatrical. Then again, she is in the theater now, and she's not hiding behind curtains anymore! ...or something!

A Star is Born

I certainly didn't recognize Blaze without his trademark neckerchief/ascot. Maybe the play is Oklahoma or Annie Get Your Gun, and it's part of his costume. Perhaps this is the start of a blazing love affair for Tommie. Why would Tommie be mad at Blaze? Because he allowed for Tommie to be publicly humiliated at rehearsal? Tommie should be used to public humiliation, based on her previous wardrobe consisting entirely of sweatpants.

I wonder if this makeover/star turn is going to go right to Tommie's head? It will be a short, meteoric rise to the top followed by a horrifying downfall of bad men and booze. It's a cautionary tale.

In Summary

So today's strip feeds into a nagging worry I have about these makeovers: is Mr. Bolle going to be able to draw all these new girls together in one room? Interacting with each other?

Thoroughly Modern Tommie

Tommie looks mad skinny. While Margo and Lu Ann we're chowing down on steaks and martinis, Tommie was probably doing sit-ups and eating saltines. Hope her bones aren't too fragile for the inevitable group hug.

Old Aunt Kitty

I thought Kitty was supposed to be in her mid- to upper-twenties, but now I'm guessing she's about 130 years old from her homespun wisdom and her charming reference to makeup as "paint and powder." However, I don't think she was expecting Tommie to call her out on that little platitude. Tommie is dead serious. "You'd better be right Kitty. Because I won't go back to being the old Tommie. You can't make me! I can't go back to being Margo's errand boy!"

The Big Reveal!

Ah hahahaha! Yes! I got here first! I'm commenting on Tommie's new look before Casey or Megan! THE BIG REVEAL! And... well, I was kind of expecting more. Surely this is less dramatic than Lu Ann's makeover. Where are the extensions? Where is the hair coloring? What about color contacts? Did we consider those? How about tattoos? What about some new exotic piercings? Hey, she's not even wearing earrings.

So, let's see. It looks like they've exposed Tommie to the magic of the flat iron as well, and I guess her hair is kind of less red than usual... if you can squeeze that nuance out of newspaper coloring artists. Plus of course there are the mandatory collar bones, according to the accepted rule:

collar bones - sleeves = fashion

What I find more disturbing about these makeovers is that it looks like all of their faces have changed. Are we supposed to take this as evidence of make up (long taboo in Apartment 3-G)? Or is Frank Bolle at a loss how to portray the girls with new hair, so he's just drawing pod people?

Anticipation

So Maggie and Casey obviously passed the buck on this yawn of a strip, but I'm accepting the challenge thrown down by this filler nonsense.

Kat would like for you to pay no attention to the blue people over her shoulder. She's been trying to ignore them, but they keep following her everywhere. At least she's hoping that you see them too...I thought this was supposed to be a restaurant? Where are all the tables, and why is there a giant theater curtain?

I hope that Tommie got extensions and has long, beautiful blonde hair. And then Lu Ann chokes Kat with her costume pearl necklace.

Come on Out!

"Tommie had given up on herself. It was as if she was living with a noose around her neck, much like this Dolce & Gabbana designer noose I'm sporting today.

Don't Believe Your Eyes

As mrvy pointed out in the comments from yesterday, this represents a real lapse in the coloring department. While colorists get a lot of ribbing for good reason, this really makes me feel bad for the poor colorist. Just imagine him, excited about the possibilities of these brand new A3G makeovers, with no real cue as to the intended hair color. Finally, it's his turn to shine, to let his creativity show. He can make Lu Ann a redhead if he wants. Lu Ann!! A redhead!! Genius. He eagerly colors the first couple of post-makeover strips, giggling from sheer delight.

And then, today, it all comes crashing down. RICH BROWN??? Damn you, Margaret Shulock. Damn you!!!! But really, does this mean that despite the clear intention of the writer, we're going to be sticking with ginger Lu Ann? Or does it mean it doesn't really matter because next week she's dying it blond again and forgetting this whole sorry affair ever happened?

Either way, I feel like this explains why Lu Ann hasn't had a nervous breakdown yet. No one will be mistaking her for Tommie. Whew. That was close.

Conspiracy

Lu Ann is looking a little better today--a little more Geena Davis, if you will--but I have a sneaking suspicion that McClure is onto something: these are stand-ins. Lu Ann and Margo have disobeyed Kat, and they're back at the apartment, sitting around in the only outfits they have left: white sweatsuits. Tommie probably went through with it, though whether she's in on Kat's plot or not remains to be seen.

Alternate theory: these are the A3G girls, but after the makeover, the strip will take a hard-hitting look at how reality show makeovers turn out after the cameras turn off. How soon will Lu Ann have the new color stripped out of her hair? How many days until Margo finds herself unconsciously stringing her hair up in a bun? How long can Tommie resist buying shirts with strange rounded collars? How long??

a REDHEAD??!

Oh. Uh. Oh no. I feel embarrassed. They've made Lu Ann look like some kind of saloon girl. Wearing a toga. It's like looking into Ruby's past as a sorority girl (Chi O, I bet). Or like Lucille Ball before television, when she was scraping by in B movies. Well, Lu Ann, I hate to admit this, but you were totally right, you shouldn't've taken a risk on a new look, because now people are going to see you from behind and think you're Tommie. And that will really be upsetting.

Meanwhile Kat, that sadist, is reveling at twisting the knife in panel three--she suddenly looks high and/or possessed. Kat feels it. She knows. This is her year. Emmy is right around the corner.

Margo, Converted

Look at her twirl! She moves like an angel. In fact, Margo doesn't even look like herself, all smiles and collar bones and simpering compliance. All she did was put down her hair and put on some kind of textured dress and I don't know who she is anymore. When did she even buy this dress? Didn't she just buy shoes and bags as an act of defiance? MARGO WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU.

And this is just the boring makeover! What does tomorrow have in store??

Sorry!

So, pretty fairly, we have been chided for not updating when there are three of us contributing to this blog. I kind of feel guilty, so I'm stepping up here. However, I'll note that I've been completely uninspired by the recent A3Gs, and just hoping that Maggie or Megan would feel like updating. Oops. Maybe they thought the same thing. So, take today's strip for example:


I have nothing to say to this. Do Kat and Kitty look exceptionally creepy? Yes. (Are Kat's eyes rolled back completely, Exorcist-style, in panel 1?) Is Kat wearing a particularly heinous shade of yellow? Yes. Do I think she might steal my soul? Quite possibly. But really, hasn't this all been done? Well, here it is again. It would be delightful to get the final reveal sometime this decade, because then you'll probably have all three of us racing to update this shiz as soon as possible.

You Can Never Go Home Again

I like that Margo's "dramatic new look" earns a bobble-swivel combo from Nancy, who is either a. phoning it in or b. impressed anytime someone spends more than five minutes on their hair. There's a whole world of hairstyles to explore beyond the headband, Nancy... remove your shackles, embrace your options! Let Tabitha show you the way!

And Margo, you big silly, you're not going home! It's time for dramatic before-and-afters! Now put some clothes on. Your hair is already returning to normal, so we'll have to hurry.

I Don't Hate It

NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE. Margo doesn't know what a hair straightener is?? No. I don't believe it. Margo, Margo! You're supposed to be the sophisticated one! The Veronica to Tommie and Lu Ann's Betty! The Daphne to their Velma! The Stacey McGill to their Mary Anne Spier! You're upsetting me very much right now!

It's not totally clear from the depiction, but I think it's implied that Margo now has a long flowing waterfall of hair. I'm not sure if this is from extensions or if her hair was so kinky and gnarled with evil that straightening made it appear to grow 12 inches. Will this be clarified? I'm guessing no.