Pop Secret

Alright, loyal readers.  Here are the facts:

1) The official name of the governor's official residence is The New York State Executive Mansion:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_State_Executive_Mansion

Which sounds awesome!  If I ever get rich, I'm going to title my house the Executive Mansion.  At least my main house.  My other houses will probably have more whimsical themes depending on where I construct them.

2) It's in Albany.  Here is GoogleMaps route and estimated journey time:

3) I think Governor Trog has a plan to lure Lu Ann to the Executive Mansion with the promise of stellar popcorn, start a movie at 11 PM and then convince her that it's too late to drive to go back to the city and that she should stay in the Samuel Tilden bedroom with it's fine Italianate decor.  Ensue hijinks.

4) I can neither confirm nor deny that the popcorn is stellar.  Or that it has a movie theatre.

The Governor Goes Out to the Movies

The Age of the Pink Cardigan continues! I know it should be here, for continuity's sake, but every now and then there's an unscripted wardrobe change at the beginning of the week. So the Governor goes out to the movies? Not exactly.... but perhaps his doppelganger/alter ego Dirk Slabchest would be willing to accompany you?? I really hope we're drifting towards some weird modern-day "Prince and the Pauper"-type story here and not another "handsome rich guy with his own private movie theater" story.

For the Kids

"If I really cared about the children of this state, I would have given the thousand dollars to the handicapped kids who finished second.  But I can't stop thinking about you and this intoxicating outfit that you've been wearing to all occasions for the last week.  Say, is that a Pollock on the wall?"

Tools and Media

Let me give you the tour. First, you'll notice I'm wearing my pink cardigan smock, which as you know is also perfect for formal occasions. Here we have the mini gallery. I don't frame the students' art so that I don't get confused and think I'm back in MoMA. And over here you can see we have lots of tools and media. Here's a hammer, and next to that, a copy of the Wall Street Journal someone left at Starbucks. I figure the more tools and media we have, the more art we can do! Today's class, I'll video tape all the children hammering different sections of the newspaper and call it "The Death of Print." See? Art!

Desperation

Now I know Doris doesn't own one of those newfangled television sets (for heaven's sake, she doesn't even go to see those talkies everyone's always going on about), but you'd think she would have at least seen a photo in the newspaper of her own state's Governor... I guess when all men look essentially alike though, it's hard to keep track.

Meanwhile, Peter, what happened to the 3-day rule? Even Lu Ann is saying (not in so many words) "Wow, this is a pretty desperate move."

Side note: What happened to Doris??? She aged rapidly. Maybe she's just losing her eyesight and I should go easy on her.

Governor's Mansion

I'm a little surprised Margo wasn't pushier about getting inside the Governor's house, she totally could've forced Lu Ann to go. Whatever Margo wants, Margo gets, girl! However, I gotta side with Lu Ann on this one: just as baffled as her that any of the conversation from the last week could qualify as a romantic overture (besides the nightcap thing). Then again, I haven't noticed his charm yet either.

Taking A Schvitz

Peter?  Geez Lu Ann, have some respect for the office!  That's Governor Troglodyte McCharmer to you.  Nothing like flirtatious pillow talk about a children's art project and avoiding eye contact by awkwardly staring into the distance to steam up MOMA like a Swedish sauna.  I hope all of the Pollock squiggles are hermetically sealed!

Nightcap

Okay, so for those of you who didn't check out Saturday's strip on your own...

Saturday April 20, 2013

...Lu Ann won. Wooooo. She looks thrilled.

Monday April 22, 2013

So then, Governor Sleazy McTroggerson pulls the ol' over-the-shoulder nightcap offer. Is it just me, or is this wildly inappropriate bordering on gross? Is this how Governor Cuomo operates? If I had been going for the same prize as Lu Ann, and I saw them all cozy before and after the ceremony, I'd be pretty mad. And if I was Lu Ann, I'd definitely be really skeeved out. And if I was Margo... well, I guess I'd be circling the Governor like a shark, if this strip is any indication.

So Darn Rewarding!

I don't know, guys,  I think Governor Charmy McTrogface is setting up our Lu Ann for a fall! I mean, first and second place both going to children-related charities? No way. I guess 1000 bucks can buy a lot of construction paper and glue sticks, but still, Lu Ann, couldn't you just sell some of your squiggle art originals/Jackson Pollock look-alikes and make that pretty quick? I presume that's how Lu Ann and Margo have any money at this point.

Fun with Money

He's so charming, the room is spinning! (Where is everyone standing in this scenario?)

And really, a future president? Maybe of the Hair Club for Men, with the way his hairline is suddenly receding in the second panel (or maybe his face is just drooping down?) But he seems more like Oprah than a presidential candidate to me. "And you get a check! And you get a check!"

Serious question - did the diner come in third place and the academy come in second? He didn't even mention if these are all in the same category... or really much else other than that he likes to give out money. The important thing is, Lu Ann is going to win because she's pretty. Take that, kids with special needs! It's time you learned how the world really works.

Smooth as Silk

Oh my god, what is WRONG with these ladies? Something is getting lost in translation, because I would say this guy is coming off more lazy and petulant than smooth. Am I wrong on this? Is this smooth? Because Margo is deeply turned on right now.

I Wonder Who Wins?

Lu Ann's left eye is skeptical of what her right eye is seeing from Margo/Winkin' Pete.  Is it just me or is the colorist doing something different?  Do I see salmon and red in the last panel!?!  Do those tuxes have TWO COLORS?!?  It's unfortunate that the hunky governor's fabulous cocktail party had to coincide with the museum's "Matron Night" promotion.  Find a friend, wear your most frumpy attire, and get buy one get one half off your ticket price!

An Extra Scoop of Charm

Gee, Lu Ann! I don't know if I would've characterized that as a "nice chat about art," or Governor Trog as an extra-scoop-of-charm-possessing kind of guy. I would've said something like, "I don't know, he was kind of weird, just kind of screaming about how he doesn't get art. So I was like 'uh, that's a Jackson Pollock,' and he was all like 'WOW, you're soooo smart!' and I couldn't tell if he was being like sarcastic? or maybe he was hitting on me? But yeah, on the upside, he doesn't give a crap about the New in New York thing, so I think I'm gonna get a thousand bucks out of this!"

Real Politics

"To be honest with you Lu Ann, when I ran for governor, I thought I would be doing meaningful work.  Improving education for all of our children.  Reducing poverty.  But I'm here at a cocktail party looking at a bunch of squiggles and talking to an air head who thinks that the only important and impartial decision that I have to make today is whether to give her orphan art class a thousand bucks and the key to the city.  I've made a huge mistake..."

I Must Confess

Bad touch, Governor Trog! See that random stack of papers over there? You're in for a world of paper cuts if you keep being so handsy.

Art Schmart

"You see, Pollock was the grandfather of the 'squiggle art' movement..." So that's what Bolle has been going for with Lu Ann's paintings and every single other piece of art for the past several years. It almost makes sense... but no, not really. If Pollock bred squiggle art in the A3G universe, I'd say it was for worse.

But enough of that... it's eligible and gorgeous Governor Russo! You can tell he's gorgeous because... hey wait, isn't that James Bond?

He's definitely a charmer, I'll say that. "Wow, you said one thing about art! Gee whiz, you sure know a lot about this whole 'art' thing, whatever that is. Isn't my lack of culture and dismissal of something that clearly interests you endearing?" Actually, James Bond has nothing on him.

Troglodyte

Art is so subjective, few people just shout their opinion about it (except Mark Trail... HAHA that's a joke, Mark Trail would never go to a museum). Therefore, I have to guess Troglodyte Joe here is trying to pick up Lu Ann by making really obnoxious, pedestrian comments about Jackson Pollock... who feel like is pretty well known, even by trogs. Where I would take that as a cue to wander off to the punch bowl, Lu Ann is ensnared in his clever conversation tactics. Hook line and singer, trog man!

Fancy-Schmancy

Nothing says fancy-schmancy like a crew neck Hanes tee.  I don't know what I really expected the A3G "Museum of Modern Art" to look like...do I even have expectations for this strip any more?  If I do, what does that say about me?

I guess having all the artwork neatly framed and accented with decorative ficuses (ficusi?) is probably pretty close.  I guess Queen Bee wasn't available for a performance piece/the sculpture wing is closed?  The Cialis commercial couple in the background is way more interesting than Margo complimenting (what is happening in the world?!?!?) Lu Ann.  They're admiring art!  They're dancing!  They're ready for when the moment is right!

New Dress

You can buy a new long-sleeve mauve dress? ....where?

Governor's Ball

We'll have to stop and pick up our formal turtlenecks at the cleaners, we've got a man to impress!  I'm guessing that Margaret Shulock was not inspired by/plagiarizing the Netflix original series House of Cards, which featuring a gubernatorial candidate/cocaine aficionado named Peter Russo.  I'll bet the A3G Peter Russo has way less character flaws.  He'll probably just want to use his office to help the war orphans develop their squiggling skills or something...:::yawn:::

Quite an Honor

I'm completely baffled by this development. It's only been a month since Lu Ann even proposed this class! Are we to believe that in that time, 1. Lu Ann organized some kind of curriculum, 2. Margo effectively publicized it, and 3. a bunch of war orphans actually showed up to multiple classes? All in a month's time?? I don't know which element of that is the most unbelievable.

And THEN "New in New York" is like, "Wow, this art therapy class that started two weeks ago for war veterans....' children... is something more tourists should know about, because it's good, and it's so gall-dern CHEAP! We'll put it on the short list of what's apparently a competition to determine what's the newest in New York."

Publicity

"Oh sure, Rapidly-aging Lu Ann. I've heard of that. It's that thing I should probably know more about than you, given that I'm a publicist." I wonder if Margo just balked at the idea of "for the best price" and refused to be associated with anything so cheap-sounding? I don't know, I've got nothing to explain how disinterested she seems at anything PR-related, since she's ostensibly in PR and has a business that could probably use promotion as well. Does Margo even have any clients she's not in a relationship with?

(Seriously, what is happening to Lu Ann in the second panel? I can't stop looking at it.)

Amazing Cheesecake

MARGO! Jeez. I used to think she was a savvy businesswoman. Now she's letting Lu Ann's Debt for Life to her be paid by a pastrami sandwich and a cheesecake?? And... and some milk, I guess? She could've negotiated for the rights to Lu Ann's life story (Squiggles on the Prairie: the Lu Ann Powers Story)! She could've asked for a cut of the profits out of the greeting cards they make with the kids' art! She could've had spin-off rights to Mr. Bananagrabber! Ughhh.

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Yum!  Nothing like ethnic, cured meat stored at room temperature in a tiny purse to whet one's appetite.  I hope that Lu Ann put some wax paper in there to absorb the grease.

There's also a fun "What's wrong with this picture" situation with Lu Ann's hands.  See if you can find all four!

Stressful

I imagine having Lu Ann visit you at work is a lot like your mom visiting you at work. You're really flustered to see her there in the first place, and then she starts asking uncomfortable questions like "So this is your desk--but where do your friends sit?" or "I know what your job is, but what do you really do all day?" and talking to your coworkers about you and THEN out come the baby pictures. ...okay, so maybe it's not exactly the same.