"You have a camera phone?!"

"Pfft! Tail your husband? Get real, Bobbie. I leave that kind of grunt work to my assistant. She also has to take all the pictures, and steal all the receipts out of the garbage cans, and dress up like a waitress and pretend to work at all the restaurants he goes to. I hang around in my cool electric blue jean jacket and deal with the clients. I also park cars. And I do it well."

P.S. Forgot to mention this yesterday, but just wanted to point out that Bobby's wearing nearly the same thing Ruby wore to her I Dressed in the Dark audition. Who does this reflect more poorly on? Explain.

Did You Hair the News?

We are witnessing a radical departure of status quo male hairstyling in Apartment 3-G. Is Alex slicking back his hair?? Unheard of. Excluding facial hair, the men of A3G usually have the three options:

1. The "part-to-the-side-and-swoop" (popular with 95% of the male population plus Tommie)
2. Long hair (for drug dealers)
3. Bald (for drugees and monks)

I mean, that is it! What will this hairstyle signify for our new friend? Do you slick back your hair if you're, say, a younger gentleman who works as a private detective but also parks cars on the side?

I Smell a Spinoff

I can't tell you how disappointed I'll be if Tommie gets this makeover, but honestly, if you've watched What Not to Wear, you know that neither of them should get a makeover based on what they're wearing today. That said, I hope someone on the film crew is inspired to produce Tommie & Ruby: Lady Detectives. Ruby will be the loud, brash one with the detective's intuition, and Tommie will be the traditional by-the-books cop. Notice that neither of them is "the smart one."

But who will be on I Dressed in the Dark? My guess: the silhouette in panel one who thinks it's okay to wear a tiny sombrero in public. She's pretty ominous, lurking in the shadows like that...

Settling for Second Best: the Tommie Thompson story

She's chastising me. Look, I said you could dump him once you got there.

Anyway, would you shut your mouth? You are jocking this up for Ruby! They're not going to be able to do a thing with your hair anyway, would you please stop making yourself so reality-show friendly??

And why is that lady levitating an hourglass over her head in the second panel?

Negative Nelly

Yowza! Kind of dramatic, Tommie! If you're so down, why don't you go see what your friends in the theater are up to these days? And if you're not going to take advantage of New York's melting pot of culture and cuisine, why didn't you just pack up and move to Denver with icky Gary? It's the healthiest city in our great nation. You could've dumped him once you got there.

Droppin 'Bows

Just because you talk a good crazy game doesn't mean you look crazy, Ruby! Seriously, why did she change out of that housedress she was wearing earlier? She even toned down her bows, opting for white over her flashy hot pink ones. Right now those wimpy white bows are her only differentiator. Is everyone else at the audition dressed so plainly that the bows are going to make the difference? I can only hope that lurking just out of frame is a hoop skirt and Holstein-print cowboy boots.

Tommie and Ruby: Lady Detectives

Allright Tommie, don't get too excited. Professor's got dibs, and as his friend you should respect that.

Anyway, you're supposed to be here for I Dressed in the Dark! Why did you change into less crazy clothes? You just look like lady detectives! Now they're never going to pick you for the show!