Curate Some Computers

Hey, don't underestimate how romantic computers can be!

Anyway, I was going to go back in the archive and remind myself of what Gary's deal was, but then I saw some strips with Margo and I decided I'm going to pretend that this is today's strip instead:

Curate this!!!

Margo..... come back to us.....

Breathtakingly Awful

Thanks for all the comments on where to find info about Neil Flynn.  I took your advice and trolled through the archives.  I guess Neil is handsome, in a "moonlights as a gay porn star" kind of way.   Either way, he does look like an asshole, Tommie should have seen that coming.

Tommie looked like a much more sophisticated woman back in 2007.   Earrings...a hair style...cheekbones!  Now she's just an awkward, androgynous teenager.  The good news is, we'll wrap up Neil Flynn 2007 this week and then tell the sob story of the "totally real" British fiancee next week, then maybe the farmer guy will come back and this story can end?   #WheresMargo

Sick and Suffering (From this Strip)

Of course Maggie is on a business trip to an internet free bunker the week that Tommie starts to rattle off all her old boyfriends, so she can't explain who this Neil Flynn character is.  Any other longtime A3G readers who can enlighten us?

If nothing else, I hope that Carol's gravity defying forelock continues to make sassy girlfriend comments for the remainder of the list of Tommie's "boyfriends."

Daddy Issues

Ohhh what's the other side of it? Based on the look she's giving in the second panel, she got into her dad's painkillers and developed a lifelong addition? (That might explain a lot about Tommie.) She never actually went to school because she stayed home taking care of her father? (That might explain a lot about Tommie.) 

Short Stories

Well at least this Carol/Lu Ann tete a slowly morphing tete will be mercifully short.  Tommie's list of boyfriends is a list a guess, if you count one thing as being a list.  I mean it's pretty much been Sir Nigel Tweederson, right?  Or was there some other slightly exotic gentlemen that gets talked about for six months and then meets some unfortunate end before anyone gets to meet him?

How Do I Begin?

Allright, everyone, it's back inside for story time! (Wouldn't want Mary overhearing this... she's so judgey.)

I hope Tommie's story is visually aided by some flashbacks. It's always so fun to see how people have changed over time. Remember that ridiculous Prince Valiant bowl cut Tommie was rocking back when she was engaged to ol' what's-his-face? Sadly, I legit cannot remember Tommie's fiance's name. Windsor? Nigel? Something British.

WAIT WAIT WAIT I take my sarcasm back, if we get to see Tommie flashback to her days in Italy when she was being wooed, this would maybe be worth it.

Boring Promises

I actually had to go back and look at past strips because I was confused. The only promise Tommie seems to have made to Carol is to tell her her story, but surely that's happened already? Off-panel? In the weeks they've been developing a friendship? And they just felt no need to rehash the story for us readers since we actually saw it happen?

My only hope is that this is a different promise that occurred off-panel and involves some kind of suicide pact. Makes you wonder what Tommie is referring to in the second panel. (Of course, if this did happen, it would definitely never be shown and would only be explained by turtleneck-wearing Margo and LuAnn in a future strip, whereas in reality I think we are about to get more exposition about something uninteresting we've already seen. And that's A3G, ladies and gentlemen.)

Almost

YEAH!! The end (of this storyline) is near! Kudos to Carol for very artfully, very tastefully, indicating to Tommie that it might be time to hit the old dusty trail. But you won't be rid of Tommie until she...

• finds a good home for Lily?
• hooks you up with Jack?
• rides Mary the Mare into the sunset just once?
• plays one more hilarious prank on town gossip Tina?
• has something done about her Johnny Tremain hand?

After Megan's post yesterday, I do feel bad ragging on the art. I will just say this: Tommie has been wearing that turtleneck since March. (Although there was a brief interlude in the month of July with a blue turtleneck... because Carol was wearing pink and it would've been too gauche!) So we're up to almost five months. Turtleneck Watch.

Need to Fill: Artist

Guys, I think today's strip might be Frank's plea to be allowed to retire in peace/humanely euthanized.  Lily is either suckling at Carol's teat or was drawn over after Frank realized that Tommie wasn't supposed to be having a conversation with the deer.  He also forgot to draw Tommie's right arm, and just slapped it on there at a weird angle. At least that's better than Tommie's face in the second panel, whichiws collapsing in on itself like a souffle in a cupboard.

I feel guilty even commenting on this anymore.  I just think of this poor old man being forced to draw torsos and terrier deer in a poorly lit room at Shady Pines.  Frank has a website, but his latest news was appearing at ComicCon in 2004.  I tried to join his mailing list, but it came up with a "page not found."  Check it out for yourself: www.frankbollestudio.com.  It's grim.

A Happy and Trusting Horse

I never thought I could help Mary (who's a mare, by the way, get it??), but look at her, Carol! Now she can stand near the fence and gaze mournfully in our direction as we refuse to come near her. She's doing great over there! And it's all thanks to Lily. I adopted a brindle terrier named Lily, by the way.

Nothing But the Best Storylines Here

Am I the only one who thought that Tommie willed the bed into being through the sheer force of her imagination?  And am completely not surprised that her imagination came up with the a bed that looks like the very cheapest bed that you can buy in The Sims (if you were actually playing the game correctly and not using a money cheat so you could just buy whatever you wanted?)  And that said bed is perilously perched on the edge of a black hole?

That Amazing Pill

WELL THAT'S OVER! I hope no one thought something actually happening would be more interesting than talking! Certainly I'm satisfied with Carol's dramatic sudden illness being almost entirely psychosomatic and resolved within two days. Two days of real time, that is, which translates to roughly five heartbeats in A3G time.

Just Let It All Go

This is really non-ironically coming out of nowhere for me. Is Carol talking about her physical state or her psychic state right now? Perhaps this is another poorly staged PTSD storyline. And WHAT. THE HECK. is Tommie doing in the second panel?? The ol' obscene-gesture glass-of-water switcheroo?? She is way out of practice with this nursing thing.

Help Me!!

Whaaaaaaa? Things sure went south fast! With Carol's really really suddenly declining health, I mean. Good thing Tommie followed Carol into the bathroom. Maybe this incident will help Tommie regain her zest for nursing. "I forgot how good it feels to have a job that isn't shoveling horse manure!"

Is This About Jack?

I'm pretty sure that's the first time anyone in this strip has ever uttered the words "You're right, Tommie."

So the odds of this ending with Tommie and Carol going on a misguided wilderness adventure to rescue Jack from whatever peril he's in are pretty slim, right?  Because that's the only way I'm interested in this.

Friendship Blossoms

I don't know, maybe I'm worrying for nothing, but... if we're a vet, should we be taking care of animals? Do people around here have animals that need taking care of? Are we billing them? Speaking of bills, I'm not positive when bills are due for like, water and lights. Do we have a mortgage on this... small campus? Also, Tommie, have we been paying you? Perhaps in small bags of yellow feed corn? But anyway, I'm super glad we're becoming friends! Can I get you a green box of cereal? Or a change of clothes?

Worse

Were things that bad? Were they? I mean, yes, your snoozy too-good-to-be-true British fiance died before anyone even met him, rendering your roommates incapable of truly understanding your grief and clouding their sympathy with mistrust (because really, you bagged a guy with a British accent?). Then there was your mental break where you kidnapped a fawn and raised it in a Manhattan, which couldn't  be healthy for anyone, least of all the deer. And also you were basically Margo's housekeeper in addition to being a nurse and a midwife and whatever else they used to let you do at the hospital. Plus that hair. That turtleneck. That everything. But I mean that was all pretty much normal Tommie! On the Tommie continuum, I wouldn't say we're rock bottom yet.

Surprises

Guuurrrrrllll.... I thought you were fired from that job? Why the present tense verb, girlfriend?

In the first panel, do you think Carol is horrified at the prospect of horses being bolted to a merry-go-round ("Is that what it's like in the big city?!") or super bored and yawning because this will just. not. end?

Playing Cowgirl

Hey everyone! Yesterday, my computer was rejecting the Google Blogger plug-in, making it impossible for me to sign in to the blog. Computer virus, or intervention? I don't know, but it's all fixed today, so here's Wednesday's comic a day late:

.......welp. That plug-in can break again for all I care. "Big Wheel" never even came up in Carol's story! No follow up on possibly the most charming old man in the strip since Hobotramp Dan. And now for the Act 2 in Not Looking at Each Other Theater: Exploitation, Exploitation on the Range.

Survivor

Look on the bright side, Carol.  You may have lost everyone you've ever loved, but your hair is full of volume in the first panel.  Or it's just slowly stealing it from Tommie.

In the alternate universe of my mind, the logical next panel would be Tommie and Carol drinking margaritas while lip-syncing into their hairbrushes a super cheesy girl power anthem about living, loving, surviving and thriving.  "I Will Survive" has been done, I'd take it back to 1999 with "Believe" by Cher.  You're welcome for that little earworm. 

Mini Breakdown

Come on, Carol. It's not a breakdown until you lash out physically against inanimate objects. What you actually experienced were "tequila tears," a not uncommon condition brought on by one or more margaritas combined with excessive needling from a second-tier friend. Just lie down, drink some water, maybe have a few crackers. You'll feel better soon.

Hard to Bear

Wait, someone left Tommie's presence emotionally beaten down and in tears?  Margo would be so proud!  Spending time with Tommie is almost as unbearable as commenting any more on this storyline.


If only Tommie's being able to see Carol's tears despite looking at the back of her head meant she had super human vision and not that Frank and Shulock can't draw/write cohesive action.

Poor Carol

Back when I started doing this blog, I wouldn't say the plots were that much better (okay, a little better), but there were always multiple irons in the fire, so if you ran into a slow patch of "Tommie avoiding that icky Gary guy" you could, say, switch to a few days of "Lu Ann being depressed in North Dakota!!" or a couple weeks of "Margo flies to Tibet and harasses some monks."

But this! This is just brutal. I don't even know what to say anymore. Maybe this blog should go on a vacation for a bit. At least until we switch to Margo, or one of these ladies moves from the spot they're rooted to, or Lily learns how to drive a car.