Miracle Man

"You heard what the man said! And by "man" I mean "Cole" of course, not some uncanny cannibal deathbot with the ability to approximate human speech patterns in order to lure his prey in for the kill!"

"Hey doc! Hurry up! I can't wait to see [acquaintance 1] and [acquaintance 2]! I'm out of pudding! More drugs? Merry Christmas! Where is [acquaintance 2]? And that crazy [acquaintance 1] of course! I can't wait to see him/her/it! I think I saw a ghost! Course clear, you got a card! Chuckle chuckle!"

"Oh Cole. Ha ha! Anyway, he's just off-screen, why don't you go on and see him! You might want to hold this bottle of Sriracha when you go see him, just for kicks."

Why, Lu Ann?

How can Lu Ann cover Marty's $500 mistake.  That's going to be a lot of shifts at the gallery.  I can't imagine that Margo pays anything over minimum wage.

Five Hundred Dollars More

Well that bombshell had.... exactly zero impact. It seems like the more Lu Ann learns, the less impact it's having on her attitude. "Stop punishing yourself for betraying your veteran single dad, who's struggled to overcome alcoholism and PTSD to raise you before succumbing to a brain tumor. I mean, five hundred dollars, what is that even? Ever since the Governor's prize patrol started funding my art classes, I've been spending that much a week on pedicures."

Sweep Your Angst Under the Rug

"But you didn't, so you showed you wanted to stay, yay!" "No, I got ditched." "Oh, uhh...well..... this is awkward...... can't you just like, ignore how you were completely hurt and abandoned by almost everyone close to you? Just get over it!"

But Marty, to be fair, just because Lu Ann is a little dim doesn't mean she's a loser.

Everyone's Awake

Looks like the colorist was so shocked by the rare appearance of Lu Ann's hips in the first panel that he or she forgot to color in the rest of the wall.  Luckily the wall-mounted table-height toaster is the expected gray.  Got to focus on the important details.

Are You Sure?!

"Hello, is this the service? Can you please tell me the status of Spencer Cole? Or... Cole Spencer? It sure is hard on everyone when you have two last names. Yes, I'll wait. What?? Five to ten minutes to talk to a live professional??! YES, hospital answering machine robot, I understand. I can handle it. I'm not some dumb baby who goes around handing out five hundred dollar bills to teenage runaways. But thank you for saying you appreciate my call."

Thanksgiving Recap

Thursday, November 28th

"There's plenty of room now that I finally sold that other girl's stuff on Craigslist.  You remember her, right...the red head?  What was her name again...Tina? Terri?"

Friday, November 29th

 

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm probably going to leave some drool marks on this overstuffed, kelly green futon.  If I start screaming, don't be alarmed.  It's just my night terrors, and the doctors say I haven't sleep-murdered anyone for months."

Saturday, November 30th

Maybe Mrs. Ward is just a little bit angry at the world that she's had to go through life with her wrist attached directly to her shoulder.  It definitely makes it hard to reach the receiver to her ear.