All Good in the Hood

I know this whole time we've been going with the "Tommie is boring so she probably had a pretty normal upbringing" theory (even though dear old Aunt Iris kept bringing up how drab and dull her sister's life is). Now, picking up cues from Tommie's body language, I can only guess that down the road, we'll be in for another tragic tale of unhappy childhood. So let's see...

Margo had an unhappy childhood, in which her poor immigrant birth mother gave her up to Margo's biological father and his wife crazy ol' Bobbie. Bobbie didn't like Margo much, but she grew up rich and entitled and wound up having a pretty good relationship with both her birth parents. Misery rating: one bowl of gruel

Lu Ann had an unhappy childhood, in which her poor teenage birth mother gave her up to Lu Ann's biological uncle and his wife, crazy ol' Vera. Vera didn't like Lu Ann much, plus there was crazy ol' Craggleface to contend with, but she wound up escaping and having a great relationship with her birth mother (TBD on father figure). Misery rating: two bowls of gruel

Based on this information, I predict Tommie's unhappy childhood will divulge itself along these lines:

Tommie had an unhappy childhood, in which she awakened from a pod-like capsule fully grown, naked, and covered in slick, gelatinous membranes. Fleeing the corn field which hosted her birth sac, she went from house to house, knocking on the door and asking "Will you be my mother?" Eventually Mrs. Tommie let her in, washed off her birth goo, and went to work making her as dull as possible. Frocks buttoned to the top button. Dinners of chicken broth and raw potatoes. Tommie always complied, not knowing any better, without even religious fanaticism or video games to distract her. Eventually Tommie went to New York, and her mom visited once. Misery rating: four fluid-filled birth sacs