OH SNAP!!

Whoaaa! I know I was pretty harsh with Lu Ann yesterday, but damn, Margo! She is your roommate, there are certain manners and etiquette we observe so things don't get awkward! For example, Emily Post would advise against calling your roommate's passion/life work as "cheesy." Especially while wearing pearls! What's tomorrow's strip going to be, Lu Ann fleeing the gallery in tears and Margo yelling "AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU LEARN SOME CUBISM, YA HIPPIE!!"?

It's "Rag on Lu Ann" Day!

Oh Margo, you tease. "Oiled, steamed, and rubbed"? Are you trying make Lu Ann jealous or turn her on? I'm not sure you could do either, her mind just doesn't work that way. Try to imagine making a parakeet jealous of you. See? Doesn't work.

In any case, the art gallery must be doing pretty well if Margo can nip out for a mid-day spa appointment long enough to come back and blithely inquire, hey, what's going on with my business, anyway? Jack and Lu Ann have been brainstorming.... which basically just means Jack has been brainstorming. Ah! Sorry Lu Ann, you just make it so easy!

I'm On Board!

How I could've managed to miss a single day of this nonstop breakneck action I don't know, but after reading Monday's comments, I'm fairly sure we're on to something: GROUP MAKEOVERS. Oh. Man. Tommie will be crying with happiness, Lu Ann will reluctantly go along with it, and Margo will throttle the host within an inch of her life. Now that's good TV!

Also, I had the same thought as mrvy: this would be a quite clever way to integrate a new illustrator into the strip. Frank Bolle has been plugging away for the past decade like a champ, but he's well into his 80s and he's got to be thinking of retiring. Replacing Mr. Bolle would not be easy: his art exudes a bobbly--er, bubbly--kind of charm, with nice thin line work, occasional bizarre background details, and hilariously misguided fashion choices. And the finger pointing! Would this be the end of finger pointing??

Secrets Are for Everyone!

Okay, looks like we're all really and truly over the whole Bobbie thing. As several commenters have suggested, I think this is the resurfacing of the very promising I Dressed in the Dark story arc. I know we were all hoping Ruby would be chosen, but Tommie aced her audition with dramatic gestures and Emmy tears.

So, assuming they're setting Tommie up for a What Not to Wear-style ambush, here's my prediction for her makeover: extensions. That's right, tracts! Ooh hoo hoo! This is going to turn the world of A3G on its ear!

School o' Bad Choices

Oh Ruby! You and Taser Lady should just have your own strip. Taser Lady will be widowed at this point, and she'll get together with Ruby and they'll found the School of Bad Choices to help other lost souls. Maybe the School of Bad Choices will be a traveling reality show. Ooh, you know what? That sounds like it could sell on TLC or A&E. A comic strip about a fake school on a reality show... sounds good to me, good luck, girls!

Okay, I'm officially giving up on the Bobbie storyline. The way this story ended was really deeply disappointing for me. There were a few days after Martin took the gun where I thought, Is it really worth posting today? Is it worth posting ever again?

That said, I wanted to congratulate Margaret Shulock for really pulling off a good deal of deception in the early part of the story arc, not an easy task for a strip with a relatively small cast. It took most of us a long time to figure out the connection between Bobbie and the Magees, and when we did, all the little details--Bobbie's vague memory of the Professor, the private detective's accusation that Martin was dating a blonde--all made delicious sense.

I'm sure we all had years when the anticipation of your birthday was more exciting that the actual day. For example, one year my older sister was convinced she was going to get a pony. I wonder, how did she get that impression, and where on earth did she think we were going to keep it? So while she was pretty devastated on the actual day, the she was very happy during the weeks leading up to her birthday. This is one of those storylines: expert setup, fumbled on the followthrough. Better luck next time.

So, time to move on! What is Ruby talking about here?

What Are Neighbors For?

Why, Ruby! You're still alive! Phew. I was nervous that while we were distracted by all this Bobbie drama, Lyle had quietly kidnapped you and cut you up into tiny little pieces or something dreadful. I mean he does live in Queens, of all the god-awful sinkholes on the planet. But enough about Lyle! The Professor has been single for at least a half an hour now, get over there and feed him, for god's sake!

But uh... this doesn't mean that Bobbie's been disposed of already... does it? Because I feel like I never even got a chance to say goodbye! It's not fair! It can't be true! Professor, please tell me you've been doing some moral waffling on driving Bobbie to the psych ward and she's hiding in your closet right now. Please please please.

No Problemo

Well that's kind of interesting. I presume Margo's talking about Detective Collins, who made some pretty wild accusations about her former fiance Eric Mills and then was all snippy when Margo started lashing out. Still, that was pretty long ago, and I'm pretty sure being wrong about Eric doesn't put him in Margo's debt, especially in his mind.

Still, I bet she marches down to POLICE STATION right after this conversation. She'll knock on the door triumphantly: "Excuse me, is Detective Collins here? I demand to see him-- I have a gun! He owes me a favor!" Then she'll be all bobbly when they cuff her. Good times...

Flip Off

I'm with Margo, the cops would've been a much more practical (read: entertaining) way to end this, although I still have hope for the Bobbie-Ari road trip rom-com Crazy in Love. But agreeing with Margo aside, when did the young people start giving the middle finger so casually to their elders? Disrespectful little whelps.

No Cops Allowed

It was a shock, Dad! A real shock. You should've seen how shocked I was! Oh wait, you were there. Who wasn't there? Everyone reading the strip? Oh well, you guys didn't miss much, it wasn't that that shocking.

Is that Lu Ann hanging around in the background? Bless her heart, she must be bored as hell. When's the last time that girl had anything to do?? The South Dakota Affair notwithstanding, since that was even more boring than the "Coming Back to New York and Waiting for Margo to Talk to You" storyline that's been happening for the past couple of months now. Time passes more slowly in South Dakota...

That's Been My Bitchy Ol' Choice, Dad

Sorry for the late update, gang; work's picked up again, and on top of it, what can you say about this? Except that Martin kind of looks like an owl in the second panel. And the (not shocking) revelation that Margo the only thing that wins over Margo is the prospect of spilled blood. But...

ARRRR, yes, okay. I admit defeat. I rarely go back and visit the Sunday strips, but the below panels from yesterday were actually quite revealing, and they confirmed it for me: there will be no violence, and there will be no final twist, to the Tale of Bobbie the Bobble Merrill.

So Bobbie's going to be locked up, and that's that. There is, however, the tantalizing prospect of an awesome roadtrip on the way to the asylum!! Oh my gosh, yes. My vigor has been renewed. What kind of munchies will they bring to snack on? Who will control the radio? Will Bobbie throw herself out of a moving vehicle?? There's so much potential!

Warm Milk?

"Nope, I wasn't really scared of my lunatic stepmom threatening to shoot me, Lu Ann. This kind of thing has happened before, and heaven knows it'll happen again! Plus Martin proved that he would literally take a bullet for me, so I wasn't in an real danger. And then the phone rang, thank goodness. Martin took the gun from Bobbie while she was distracted, and then I took the gun, for reasons that we all understand. Maybe I've misjudged Martin for the past year that he's been buying me things and trying to convince me to love him. Who knows! Hey Tommie, keep this warm milk coming."

Gasp...

Ohhh man. Margo, can you please have the decency to flashback tomorrow to goggle-eyed and then ultimately violent reaction when you learned this? Because explaining it to your friends later is really just bumming me out more that I didn't get to see the whole thing go down. Even Lu Ann's "gasp" looks a little deflated.

Not a Bang, but Definitely a Whimper (from me)

AHHHHHH oh my god, that's really the end of that scene??! Ohh. You guys. I feel cheated. I feel cheated, I say! No violence at all? No lunging for the throat, or nervous rambling accusations, or complete mental breakdowns? Not even the consolation prize of everyone learning that Bobbie's been dating the Professor?? Just Margo running straight home to change into a jumper and bobble the empty gun upside-down in front of Lu Ann?? AHHHHHHFine! Let's get on with this curator nonsense, then. But I'm not okay yet! Bobbie better escape her captors rustle up some WMDs or something. I might forgive her then.

Oh, and thanks for voting, everyone. A surprisingly high number of you bet against the gun ever getting used, and you were right. It must feel good, being right. You know who was wrong? Chekhov.

No. Way.

No way it's going to end like this. I don't believe it. I feel like I've gotten to know Margaret Shulock pretty well over the past year of writing this blog, and I feel like... she... she wouldn't do this to us. No way. Nope. There's a twist coming. Bobbie must be hiding some kind of second gun or knife under that orange trenchcoat, because this is not over. It can't be! Gabriella hasn't even come down the stairs yet!

Try, Try, Try to Understand

"Jingle jangle tinkle" is probably an approximation of a generic ringtone, but come on, we all know Bobbie would've shelled out for a custom ringtone for Ari by now. My guess: either "Magic Man" by Heart or "Smack That" by Akon. Or something equally gross.

Meanwhile, while Bobbie's distracted, Martin takes this opportunity to... not so much disarm Bobbie, but maybe conjur some kind of magic spell on the gun? Interesting strategy.

You're Not Well

Bobbie, you're being unfair. Martin's helped plenty of people! Like how about that apartment building he bought to keep Gabriella sheltered? He didn't just buy it to make bundles becoming a slumlord. And remember when he went to India with Margo? That.. was helpful. It was really nice that he presumably took care of booking all the flights and hotels! Now don't make Martin slap you with that tiny arm sticking out of his chest.

Poor Wittle Awi

Oh shucks. I wish that Dr. Bryant hadn't called before my date with Bobbie. Might put a damper on the whole evening now that I know she's a psychopath.

And yet, look at him in the last panel! He looks so adorably unsure! Aww! He's like a lost little puppy that's dating a crazy rich lady! In fact, he looks so doe-eyed and precious that I actually, fleetingly, sympathize with him and all the blood he's going to have to mop up.

Uncanny!

I liked the Jedi brainstorm from yesterday's comments, but after seeing today's comic, I would guess Martin's an X-man. Like Kitty Pryde, he has the power of "phasing," managing to "push" right through Margo and pass her on the narrow staircase. Margo is shocked; clearly Martin never revealed his powers to her, and she probably hasn't come to terms with her own mutant abilities yet (disdain that can chill the soul and razor-sharp fingernails, to name a few).

Finger pointing, too, is hereditary. Finger versus gun! Maybe if Martin's finger and Margo's finger team up against the gun they can take it down, but I'm not positive about a one-on-one matchup.

Stand Down!

This is more like it! I love the staircase floating in space, Bedknobs and Broomsticks style, while Martin continues to look only mildly perturbed by the situation. Margo, of course, is hilariously off the mark thinking that Bobbie won't shoot her. I mean, I can't believe she even got the entire sentence out of her mouth while striking that classic "step off, dad!" pose without everyone bursting out laughing.

The Rat Himself

I don't know how the Event of a Lifetime I've been desperately awaiting for the past three months could get boring after a couple of days, but somehow it has done just that. Bobbie, the gleefully manic star of the show, is somehow getting pushed into the background. How can that be allowed to happen??

I know this bland bit of exposition is necessary for non-regular readers to get their bearings plot-wise, but when the dialogue sags, that's when the art should really sing! How about a close-up of Bobbie's deranged face? Or maybe Martin could have some kind of a reaction in the second panel--even just a BOBBLE, for goodness sake!--to his estranged ex-wife showing up out of the blue calling him a rat and shaking a gun. It's pretty shocking, right? Right Martin? Hmm? Yes? Shocking? Martin?

Not Now, Dad!

Margo will (probably) not move, but come on, like Bobbie could ever take a nice, clean shot with her hand bobbling all around like that! I'm going to put up a reader poll posthaste. Who, or what, will Bobbie shoot? My guess: the staircase, or maybe a wall.

In all this mayhem, there is a clear cry coming from the people, and that cry is: where is Taser Lady? And where is Ruby and her bucket of suds? Where are the other members of Margo's impromptu criming-fighting club when one of their own is at risk? I suppose they're "at their own apartment building" or some such, but their extrasensory perception for danger must be pulsing in their temples by now! Ruby is probably just whipping up a fresh batch of hot water and palmolive.

Ar-Magee-don

First of all, I'm so excited to see all the commenting going on. I mean, how can you not want to comment on as Randy/KarMann calls it Ar-Magee-don, but it's such a thrill to have intelligent and enthusiastic observers. Keep yapping!

Second of all, oh my god, Margo is so awesome. First she scolds Bobbie like she's a child, then she calmly, even philosophically, tries to reason with Bobbie. Who negotiates with someone holding a gun like this?? Besides Bobbie, I mean. ...huh. Maybe it's just me, but the way I would've handled this would've been more like:

Bobbie: So you're in on it too. I should've know. (reveals gun)
Me: OH, WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. Is that a gun?? Oh shit oh shit! Ahh!! Wait a second, is that real? uhhhh OH NO IT'S REAL IT'S REAL OH F^@* I'M DEAD
Bobbie: Don't come any closer or I'll shoot.
Me: I know, I know! No! I know! I'm not coming any closer! Look at me! I'm up and leaving! You want me to get my mom real quick? WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THAT GUN ALL SHAKY AND CRAZY LIKE THAT?? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Are you thirsty? Can I get you something to drink?

Annnnnnd then she'd shoot me.

Stairway Negotiations

"Whoa there, Roberta. You've got it all wrong. I don't even like the idea of my parents getting back together. I think it's way icky. How about you just put the gun away, and we'll go out and get something to eat? I'll order an appetizer, and you'll tell me I'm fat, and I'll develop an eating disorder--just like the good old days!"

I have to admit, I did not think Roberta would reveal her gun this early in what is sure to be the climactic scene of this plotline. And on a Saturday whatsmore, traditionally a slow day for comics! I'd say we've got another three weeks or so before it actually goes off. April 28th. Any other guesses?

OMG OMG OMG

Yes yes yes!! So it begins! We go from my pathetic comments on wall art to the awesome promise of a showdown between Margo and Bobbie, or as it appears today, Margo versus the anthropomorphic dimly lit stairway.

In the blue corner: the Maven from Manhattan, the original Problem Child, Margo "finger-pointin" Magee. 135 pounds of irritation, with a bun pinned up tighter than a subway car at rush hour. Ultra-surly from her conversation with her parents, possessing a natural disposition of impatience and a grudge against her stepmom. Weapon of choice: umbrella, or her fingernails in a pinch.

In the black corner: the Bobble with the Hobble, the Witch with the Waggle, the Cherry Bomb Stepmom, Roberta "Bobbie Merrill" Magee. Wirey, distracted, tense. Flaming yellow hair. Has a drug problem and/or a problem without drugs. Weapon of choice: handgun, which, yes, she probably had embellished with a pearl handle and her initials in the interim.

Ohmygodohmygod, I can't wait. Is it Saturday yet??

April Fools

Again the nuance of this strip astounds me! They could've done something really over-the-top for April Fool's Day--Margo laying down a piece of cardboard and breakdancing, Bobbie sitting down and taking a good hard look at her life, etc.--but instead we're treated to a subtle easter egg. (also seasonally appropriate) What's that hanging on the wall behind Gabriella? Could it be... the same painting Dr. Bryant owns??

What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?? I don't know, but I'm starting to think I might have a chance at an art career in New York. Happy April Fool's Day, everyone!

UPDATE: I just noticed the Professor has this painting too!! I hope no one thinks it's an original.