Great! Now, can you say:ALL THE STARS WILL BE THERE, TOMMIE. You might want to bring a couple extra video tapes of your album. You know, JIC.
Allright, Tommie is holding a box--a box so aptly labelled "Tommie"--that is far larger than anything used to record music on in the last, mm, thirty years? It's way too big to even be a tape casette. It could be a VHS tape. It could be an 8-track. It might even be a Super Nintendo cartridge. My hypothesis: that's what Frank Bolle thinks an MP3 looks like.
Tch. That psychic had a name you know. And it was Laura. Madame Laura. And yeah, you're a dope, but I commend you for describing yourself with such a great, underused word. Dope!
I have to admit, I feel for Lu Ann here. Pretty much the only reason I would want to salvage my relationship with Icky Paul and the Linskiettes would be to avoid the scornful mockery of Margo.
Tommie's back! We're done with the Lu Ann plot! Yay! However, someone will have to break it to Tommie and Margo that being mistaken for Justin Beiber does not a recording star make. Sad.
"Someone who understands me and won't judge me." Well, Margo is right out, obviously, but I'm surprised Tommie wasn't a consideration? Maybe "and won't bore me to death" was one of the implicit considerations. What about the Professor? Where the heck has he been? The last time we saw him was Christmas of last year, for a hot second. He's hanging around inside his apartment, dusting off the bookcases, just itching to give someone advice.... I guess ever since he got involved with Bobbie "the Bobble" Merrill, no one's really wanted his advice.
A sudden flash of insight? So, Gary Powers really was trolling around in heaven/the afterlife/between incarnations, just waiting for the right time to reveal that yes, he totally is dead, and haunt Lu Ann's dreams like, don't get married to that shlub, you can do better, GF! "He always was protective of me... like that time he used his ghost powers to have that junkie kill my ex-boyfriend. I miss Alan, but I have to admit, it was kind of cool."
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Have we really disposed with Paul Linski and the Linskiettes THAT QUICKLY? I mean, you kind of liked him, right? Maybe just not enough to move into one of multiple houses right away? Give the guy a chance! Think of Wally! Will no one think of the children??
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, gooodbye! Don't let that park bench hit you in the ass on your way out...I'm actually a little disappointed that Paul isn't putting up more of a fight. What happened to "I have Lu Ann, and she's the best!" and your mild to moderate stalking? You're not even going to try to work it out? 
I thought we were on the same page with the in love/ready for babies/constructing covered walkway between our house and my parents' house. But I guess I was wrong. You and your urban feminist ways, I guess you expected me to just come up and ask you if you were ready for marriage/babies/my parents as your overlords. So what do we do now?
I can't believe Papa Linski would be like "Oh Paul! Bee tee dubs, before I forget, again, the love of your life was married seven years ago to a guy named Gary." And leave his beloved, golden haired son to believe that somewhere out there was a completely alive Gary Powers. A brown haired, orange jacket and black shirt wearing, piano affixer Gary Powers.
Originally I was going to make fun of Paul for being uncommonly affected and hurt by the name "Gary," buuut... when I think about it, I think I get the sentiment. It's like if I found out my boyfriend was married to a girl named Tiffany. No offense to all the Tiffanies out there, but I'd be like "TIFFANY?? Oh come on. No. You did NOT marry a Tiffany. Ugh. Who were you??"
"You're wrong, Paul! I never lied to you, in actual words, about stuff you knew about! But I should tell you about this weird dream I had last night. My old husband was in it! You know, my old husband? I just found out he died! .........oh I see what you're getting at."
Uh, is it the economy? Afghanistan? Long harbored resentment for the Netflix price increase? Paul's so angry his hair has gone highlighter yellow, while Lu Ann has gone into a full, preemptive worry bobble. I can only hope this break up is swift, so we can finally see what Tommie is up to.
Let's file this one under "more creepy things my perfect boyfriends says." By the way, pretty sure this is not how cell phone voicemail works.
I like how Margo is totally scandalized! "Wait a second, I finally approved of this and you're going to THROW IT ALL AWAY?? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, LU ANN?! That I CAN'T convert your room into my personal gym?? I ALREADY ORDERED AN ELLIPTICAL MACHINE, so you'd better DRINK SOME MILK and GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT!!"
"It'll pass, kind of like my face is passing from my skull." Seriously, is her face melting? Maybe it's horrified at what Margo has become - a supportive, encouraging person - that it is leaving to find a new host.
Dear Mrs. Powers,
sor-rry, we have been way backed up lately, jumping in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan, and then that whole Arab Spring thing happened, plus Libya, and just everyone was distracted. But enough about us.
U.S. Army Air Force Major Gary Powers has been declared killed in action. Like, a while ago. We are so sorry. We will send you his remaining possessions, including his Athens Summer Olympics hand towel and his Ashlee Simpson Autobiography CD. He sure did love that CD. And youuu...!
Take care,
Your friends at the U.S.
Army Air Force
I wish that I would wake up from a nightmare/roommate having a nightmare with my hair perfectly coiffed, eye makeup that highlights my eyes but isn't too heavy, and pouty, dew touched lips. First, if my roommate was having night terrors, I would, 95% of the time, sleep through it. Second, if actually awakened, I would have a full head of frizz and spend the first two minutes of being awake fumbling for my glasses, which were probably on my face when I fell asleep, and thus the entire night was spent crushing them out of shape before knocking them into a crevasse somewhere in the bed vicinity.
We can never see below these ladies' armpits, but it's pretty obvious Margo is folding her arms as she delivers that line in the second panel. And with a smile! "Dead lover nightmares? You can bet I've been there, girlfriend! Ha ha! Ha...." Meanwhile, Lu Ann is serving up some major Ann-Margret/Natalie Wood. Looking good!
Oh Margo, it's like the software that pairs emotions with the proper facial expression was being updated when you were awakened by Lu Ann's night terrors. Poor Tommie is even losing strip time comforting Lu Ann, which she would be way better than Margo at. Maybe she's at the hospital nursing an orphan.
Oh my gosh, Lu Ann DOES care about Gary! ..........you know, Gary? Good ol' Gar! I guess that's the name of her dead fighter pilot husband, who she hasn't mentioned for 35 years. But what if she's talking about Tommie's old flame?? That would be totally scandalous! And weird. That guy was icky.
She probably just hasn't had time to bring it up, Paul.
Oh my gosh, what a tease. First you say you've run a background check on Lu Ann, and then you report NONE OF THE FINDINGS?? For shame. I mean, what can it possibly say? "Reports indicate she totally hated her hair after her I Dressed in the Dark makeover."
OK, it's one thing to paint the extra room a pastel color just in case you decide to use it as a nursery, but to go out and buy a crib before you even get married? That's a dealbreaker (don't sue me Tina Fey). Is Paul's dad supposed to look worried in the second panel? I would have thought he was having a stroke. Don't worry, Lu Ann's the best*!!
Hey there Gene! Just so you know, I've been working on this blog for like a year and I don't really know Lu Ann Powers all that well. There's really not much more than meets the eye. Have you bought a squiggle painting yet? I'm pretty sure the explanation is in there somewhere.
Oh boy, this Lu Ann thing is killing old man Linski. He has aged twenty years in three strips! The Linskis have two rules. Number one, always make life changing decisions without consulting your significant other/family member. Number two, it is unnatural to want to live more than two houses away from your immediate family and reflects poorly upon your moral character. The Linski Congress is considering adding a rule (Number three, always wear white shirts), but they're not sure they can get it past Wally's subcommittee.
Paul, you should have seen this coming! It's Linski Rule #1! But it is a little crazy. I mean did the Linskis even ask Lu Ann about her family? Paul's so mad he's developing a hunch, and that hunch is bobbling!
This fairly obvious exposition is made a little more interesting by Ruby's shrinking head and giant hand. Buuut, not much. May I instead use this opportunity to say how thankful I am that I do not have Lu Ann's family. They really seem like a bag of nuts. I think the "Lu Ann's adopted" theory has real merit, except that it seems a lot like the "Margo's a love child" storyline, which happened not long ago. I'd take it though!
Dear mystery colorist,
Oh Ruby! You and your soup. Soup that you carry around in a tiny little ice bucket. How does she just assume that the person in there crying her eyes out is Lu Ann? I mean, Tommie lives there too, it could just as easily be her. I mean, more easily! SUPER easily!
First of all, may I express my sincere delight at the appearance Crazy Janey! (she's troubled) I was just thinking about her! Every now and then, it's like Margaret Shulock and I are on the same wavelength. It's a little scary at times, as I'm sure it is for Margaret.
Technically, the trip would be to Hoboken, which I imagine has cheaper hotel rates than Manhattan. Did you even check Priceline.com? William Shatner has led me to believe that whatever you want to pay for a trip is what it costs!
Holy crap holy crap! I feel like I hit the jackpot here, but I have no idea how to spend money so I'm just going to blow it all in one place and say something stupid like OMG LU ANN'S SISTER IS A HIDEOUS WITCH. And may actually be a witch, since she is somehow able to make Lu Ann's phone ring more insistently than I've seen a phone ring in this strip.
Whuh oh, Paul. Looks like Lu Ann's giving all her smooches to Ruby. Not good news for you, pal. Or "Master of Puppets" Mama Linski. I try to keep this blog pretty PG but... I mean, that's pretty racy for 3G. PRETTY RACY. I'm pretty sure in Apartment 3G, a kiss on the cheek is second base, maybe third. I think Lu Ann's just lashing out against the establinskiment; as for Ruby, there are three ways to interpret her expression in the second panel: 1. agape 2. eros 3. straight-up sleepiness (it was a long day)
For all the talk about how Frank Bolle has been phoning in the artwork, I have to say there are interesting and subtle nuances to this strip. Note that Lu Ann is shrouded in white on one side of the panels, whilst Paul stands opposite, her in a doorway that leads into darkness. The darkness of a Linksi future in Hoboken, perchance? In the final panel, they are separated by Ruby, who is perhaps the pink personification of Lu Ann's yet unspoken doubts.
Look, it's really precious and all, but I don't know how Lu Ann is going to fit into that adorable tiny little dress. And aren't we taking this "Lu Ann as the Linkski's doll/puppet/plaything" metaphor a little far?
Okay, so as mrvy pointed out in the previous post's comments, Paul might have a legitimate reason to have some say in Lu Ann's attire on wedding day. And he can't possibly call or text, he has to tell her in person. Right now. Of course.
That said, when a bride is wearing her dress, most gals want to hear their grooms say that they look "beautiful" rather than gush that they look "modest in every way!!" Ruby gives no reason as to why she's crying. If I were Lu Ann, I would press for details. I think maybe she's shopping for dresses at the same bridal chain Adrian Corey was.
"And by wrong dress, I mean any dress. Because obviously you are going to wear Mother's wedding dress. In fact, I brought you some of her clothes to wear so you'll smell like her. Don't you think your hair should be greyer?"
MY GOD LU ANN WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF SOCIALIST HIPPY FREAK?? Of course the dress is that important. It's like you've never been married before. How about you try to find something like that peasant shirt you're rocking, except one that goes all the way to the ground? Something that says "Bohemian meets Hoboken."
Wow, who thought we were actually going to get to see Lu Ann try on dresses? Or that Lu Ann was going to bring the twins out shopping? I'm going to go out a limb and say this is the first time that cleavage has been featured in this strip. Also, I would say that it smallest line ever drawn to represent cleavage. I wonder what the name of this store is? Victorian Secret?
Ruby may be unphased by the oft-hurtful "are you her mother?" comment, but her world has been rocked by Lu Ann's unbridled thoughtlessness regarding the design of her wedding dress. It is a little surprising, Lu Ann seems like the kind of gal who dreams about her wedding day... and in fact, she has been married before (Lu Ann Powers, nee Wright), so that should give her a few thoughts about how to approach the event. But nooooo, she had to throw Ruby into a swively, bobbly catatonic state. Just look at her. 
Will she ever recover? We can only watch and pray.
Sugar, are you trying to tell me that Paul is a weird Oedipal oaf and deep down you think you're making a huge mistake marrying him? ...No? You're just worried about the dress? Whoops, sorry! Did that come off as TERRIBLE AND BITCHY? You know us Texas ladies, not a thread of tact strung up in our magenta hair.
I though Lu Ann's mom was institutionalized or something crazy like that, but I think actually Lu Ann's sister was institutionalized (or something) and Mrs. Lu Ann is taking care of her. Or something. Here's the only strip I could find about it, back when Lu Ann was hanging out with her pops up in South Dakota. Funny she didn't want to spend more time out there!
So, things have been kind of crazy, which is why I spaced on my Thursday update... but honestly, it's about how tired Lu Ann is? That's really lame. I'm just hoping one day really does matter, and then we see stuff really go down with Lu Ann's family.
