One Memorable Christmas

Okay, ignoring the fact that Christmas has come an gone, because we all know timing is tricky for continuity strips I guess, WHAT THE EFF, EVAN, MORE YELLOW?? This is getting to be a joke. You are becoming jokey, Evan. And who wears a yellow raincoat in the winter anyway? And what grown man wears a hood in the first place? it's not even snowing on this side of town!

Just for contrast, what would it look like without the thought bubbles?

Yup. Even crazier. And suddenly that door looks tiny.

Be Brave

Margo? Going to a food pantry? Enthusiastically? Where she'll have to look at homeless people? I don't buy it. Margo, you can see Aristotle in a white beard and a belly like a bowlful of jelly any old time, that's just what he looks like.

Snowing Like Crazy

Uh, remember Trey Brooks? Trey Brooks of the Blue Coat and the Constant Scarf? I haven't thought of that guy for months, but suddenly he's on my mind! I hope they run into super-petulant Evan and get this storyline a-movin'.

It's Not Locked

Well, it's come to this, folks. The most unrealistic strip in A3G history. Maybe sweet, trusting Lu Ann from South Dakota would leave the apartment door unlocked, but Margo?? Please. She'd deadbolt it and demand a password before letting anyone in. These aren't the free and easy Aunt Iris days anymore.

As Margo Paces

Whuh oh! Margo's been hitting the Heinz again! And is this even her apartment? Yowza! I think it's time to make some bad PR decisions.

Quiet Time

Monday, December 24, 2012 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Jeez, Greg must have a pretty lousy PR agent if he doesn't have any celebrity holiday party or charitable outreach to participate in on Christmas.

But seriously, guys. You've all been part of my A3G family for a while now, and I think we can mark this as the dullest Christmas in A3G history.Worse than last year's "Lu Ann breaks up with stalkerface and Tommie starts her soon-to-implode recording career." Certainly worse than the year before's swingin' Christmas party and subsequent Margo meltdown. And of COURSE worse than Bobbie "the bobble" Merrill's drug-fueled insanity in 2009. Actually, I guess most of Bobbie's craziness happened after Christmas... perhaps there's hope for us yet!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Try to forget the breakneck excitement of Apartment 3-G for just one day and enjoy time with your family.

Cathy's Voice Turns Hard

Is his career in the balance?? Is it?? Because so far I've seen ZERO evidence that either PR firm does anything--like ANYTHING--and Greg still nabbed the role of JAMES FRICKIN BOND. I feel like now all he has to do is act, pretty much, right?? Like, learn his lines? Say them? Look good? Do some stunts, maybe? Stay out of trouble on the weekends? What does PR have to do with any of that? I... I maybe don't get PR.

Never Hire Relatives

Either Aunt Cathy's lying, or JEEZ, Evan, she's not even paying you?? P.S. Cathy, now would be a fun time for a deflective joke about, my, how Greg is getting into character, mister detective spy man!

Cathy's Strategy

So, Margo has no idea how to run a PR firm, but I'm beginning to think Aunt Cathy's not so good at it herself. Apparently the only ways she knows how to get clients are using a double agent, or... threatening defamation? That's right, Cathy. Open yourself up to a lawsuit, that'll teach him to reject you!

Though, I do give her props for pulling off a long pause on the phone. Usually, I would expect Greg would've awkwardly said "hello?... uhhh... hello?" and hung up before she even got to threaten him.

It's "Cathy"

Oh man, there are times when I think I love this strip too much. How does Greg know there's a connection between Evan and the Windwood Agency but Margo doesn't? It's not like Greg's a detective, so is Margo really that out of the loop?? And yes, Evan is CREEPY. He's outrageously inappropriate at the workplace and he dresses like Curious George's legal guardian. Margo, she's.... she's just so hilariously bad at her job. I just love it to pieces.

Angry Thoughts

Evan really must be angry, his mustard suit seems to have lost some of it's former luster.  I didn't really see this seething rage coming from Evan.  I can see why he's mad at Cathy and I guess he's just jealous that Greg can afford the blue suits of the nouveau riche.  Margo is smug, but that's what makes her Margo.  I thought her treating you like a convenient boy toy was part your grand scheme to steal away her clients client.  My prediction is that he steals Skyler and Greg away to his own agency and then ruins the pretty people's careers.   :::maniacal laughter:::

He's an Idiot!

Evan, Evan. The manipulation of one Hollywood hopeful does not a Puppetmaster make. Aunt Cathy sets a new precedent for intelligence in Apartment 3-G! (I think Aunt Iris was pretty smart too... all these genius aunts!) But more yellow? Really? Is that what this strip needs, more yellow?

Dallas for the Holidays

Look at Tommie, laughing away at the thought of Margo spending Christmas with her family. CHUCKLE chuckle chuckle! That's a good one. We haven't seen Martin and Gabriella in over two years! I gotta say, I miss them. Martin with his crazy hair and penchant for lying, Gabriella with her sudden bursts of ethnicity. (Let us not overlook her frequent display of hoop earrings.)

In fact, I just went through quite a few of the old Martin and Gabriella comics, I really do kinda miss them. I don't care that they're happy and boring, I say bring em back! Presumably though, Margo will visit them for two days of strips, get a phonecall from Greg, run out claiming, "it's for business!" let Greg buy her dinner, kiss him, slap him, run back to Martin and Gabriella for one strip of drunk crying, and not publicize anything.

Christmas Plot!

At first I was confused by the abrupt jump from one storyline to another, but I think this might explain why Margo has been acting so strange. Of course, the Margo we've been seeing for the last several weeks was really a malfunctioning Margo-bot. I knew Margo would go to any lengths not to do any real work... if only she knew how silly and sappy her twin was making her appear!

I am glad to finally see Lu Ann and Tommie again, even if Tommie looks so mopey about having to work that her face seems to be melting off. I'm genuinely interested in what Lu Ann has to say, which is a good sign that the current storyline needs to wrap up, stat. I can't believe I just used the phrase "genuinely interested" in conjunction with anything Lu Ann could possibly say...

The Hottest New Actor

Aren't you happy for me, darling? All my hard work paid off! Now that I've effectively handed Greg the role of James Bond, the movie studio's PR team should take over for promoting Greg and the movie. All I have to do is sit back and collect the checks. I think I'll treat myself to a hotdog. For some reason I'm in the mood for mustard.

Is Evan actually psyched up because he's going to try to go 2-for-2 poaching the stars of the new James Bond film? Because... that would be pretty fun.

Top Secret!

I'm glad that in these days of rampant morbid obesity that Margo has provided her employees with a nutritious bowl of fresh fruit for snacking. I'll give it to Frank.  He really nailed the look of pure terror on Evan's face in the last panel.  It's a good thing he wore his most urine colored suit to cover  it up.  I doubt that Greg's James Bond is the hottest movie of 2013.  I'm pretty sure that title goes to Harry Potter and the Author Who Realized Adult Fiction Doesn't Pay Nearly As Well as Young Adult Series Do.

Power Lunch

True confession: I don't know what a power lunch is. Maybe I've never been invited to one? I've always assumed it was a kind of business lunch that people wear their power suits to, and they wind up making power deals there, and they eat stuff with lots of protein, and they drink martinis. Not something I'd send my assistant to without me. But maybe it's just when you go to the gym at lunchtime? Anyone have a good definition?

Dr. No

What a chicken!  Unless he's going to lull Margo into being excited about his big news only to drop the anvil on her about Evan's betrayal.  That's the kind of psychological deception that James Bond would engage in.  I wonder what the title of this James Bond movie is going to be.  007: Yankee Doodle Dandy or 007: The Spy With 1000 Faces?

No-Talent Airhead

Oh man. Is this not the world's best PR rep, guys? The finger pointing, the nose for business... but I think it's Margo's sense of professionalism that impresses me the most. Plus her love of white turtlenecks. Girl, those NEVER go out of style!

An Actual Appointment

A little sad we didn't get to see everyone picking their teeth at the staff meeting. What a cruel tease that was. I guess we're gearing up for the big reveal that Margo's been betrayed. Unless we skip that too.

Staff Meeting

Whhhhhhhhhhhy do you guys need a staff meeting? Isn't that just Margo, Evan and maybe Carla, maybe? Couldn't that just be reduced to a coffee break, or a mid-morning massage?

The Many Faces of Greg Cooper

 

Ah, Greg's going to spend the week day making a Margo Magee Pro/Con list!  I hope he ordered a lot of canned take out to sop up his brown firewater.  It seems like he's recapped the major points, so this can't go on too much longer.  They don't actually get along but there is a great deal of mutual button pushing, plus they have the same hair color which equals soulmate in the A3Gverse.  Although he did forget to mention that Margo can be hypnotized with Sinatra and canned take out.

What's So Special About Margo Magee?

ALL RIGHT!!! Let's break out the booze! Pour yourself a tiny highball of the brown stuff, pull your chair up to a high top table, and get ready for some fun evening of contemplating the mystery that is Margo Magee! Whoooo! Come on, guys, be honest. Who among us didn't spend Saturday night the same way? He even has a picture of Margo to gaze at while he reflects! Perfect! Man, this is going to be a great week of strips.

Fast and Loose

Thursday November 29, 2012

The Professor is back, and he's challenged Greg to a Battle of the Blue Jackets! Cerulean vs. cornflower: two jacks go in, one jacket comes out. THIS WILL BE EPIC.

Friday November 30, 2012

WELP, I guess I was wrong on the epic jacket battle thing, but I really did think they were setting something up there. Or maybe merest mention of Evan was enough to scare the jacket off of Prof A.

Saturday December 1, 2012

This is really the only reason I did the recap: so I could mention "fast and loose." Ha! Fast and loose. I like this Greg guy. Too bad he looks like a neckless blow-up doll. 

Evan Shifts Gears

Ughh. Why do I always get the mopey, apologetic version of Margo? I was really hoping to see something closer to a Mortal Kombat fatality. (Margo, of course, would be Sheeva.)

The only thing I can hope for is that below panel, Margo has just stuck a syringe deep in Evan's thigh. "What do you think, Mister?!" "Margo, I... what did... I feel sleepy...." "Yes, that's right, Evan. Shhh, shhhhh. Now let's get you in your crate and visit Dr. Garuba. I should've had you neutered weeks ago."

She's Baaaack!

Wow, Evan really doesn't like Mondays.  Or maybe he just needs to finish his tiny cup of coffee in peace before he has co-worker interactions.  I get that.  So if Evan's grand plan involves becoming Margo's most trusted and loyal assistant as an artful cover for his poaching of all her clients, throwing a gigantic hissy fit in the break room first thing Monday morning is probably not going to score you any Margo loyalty points.  But it's good for us dear readers, for it has awoken the sleeping giant of Margo's rage.  Let's just sit back and watch it burn.

Not Now, Margo

With the Poaching of Skyler (a phrase I hope we will all use for the rest of our lives), I guess Evan's ready to roll out the "Mission Accomplished" banner. Now his only interest is to see how long Margo will keep paying him for not doing any work while being aggressively unpleasant. I've never seen Margo take abuse like this, so I'm hoping the answer is: not long.

Turkey Day Recap

I hope all of our loyal readers had delightful Thanksgivings!

Thursday, November 22nd

I'm pretty sure that gentlemanliness is not measured in inches.  That's something entirely different Greg, remember to treat her like your little sister!

Friday, November 23rd

Can they even afford to even mention James Bond in this strip?  I hope that doesn't mean they're cutting Frank's home health care budget.  Also, I highly doubt they are filming a James Bond movie because Greg's extremely not British.  And wasn't Skyler's hair a completely different color?

Saturday, November 24th

You voluntarily left the best PR agency in the world?  Margo Magee doesn't like someone?  Obviously Skyler hasn't tried to ply her with canned take out and The Best of Sinatra.  It's guaranteed to make Margo forget that she hates you for a full five minutes.  It was great knowing you Evan, Margo's most trusted and soon to be eviscerated assistant.  I wonder how many babies Tommie has brought into the world?

Beautiful Murder

Must we? Must we drag this on another day? I mean there's only one person this could possibly be. Her name starts with an "S." And ends with a "kyler."

OH SNAP WAIT, I just realized, there's Gina! Remember Gina? She came back for a hot second to ambush Tommie and the gang for I Dressed in the Dark, but before that, she was an aspiring actress who moved west to follow her dreams! What if this is all a big set up to bring her back, huh? Huhh??? No, I know it's not, but what if it is??

By the way, I thought the question Greg was going to ask would be about how much he's getting paid.

Prediction

:::Holds card to forehead like Carnac:::  Greg's co-star is Skyler!  How else is Margo ever going to find out about Evan's betrayal?  I predict that Margo will make a surprise trip to the movie set in London to check on her only remaining PR client, where she will happen upon Evan (who requested off from the M&M agency to have surgery) giving Skyler an intense one-finger massage.  But what really happens will probably be way lamer.

Are You Kidding?

Is..... Greg........ wearing................. pajamas?? Oh my god. The only way I can deal with the fashion and the style in this strip is to imagine every character as a flaming hipster. Director Chinbeard might be the most relevant character we've seen in ages.

Worth the Wait

 

Sometimes the old interweb decides that it wants to party like it's 1999 and load the day's strip at dial-up speeds.  Today was one of those days, but I knew it would be worth the wait when all that had loaded was "Margo narrows her eyes and..." It means that the real Margo is locked and loaded!  Only Margo would be capable of slow dancing with a guy one minute and calling him a jerk the next.  Even better, her rage transformed the quaint dutch oven, the symbol of Greg's classiness, into an empty vase representing him being a complete jerk.  "Evan's one finger is more of a man than you will ever be!"

Whatsisname

Plain noodles and unnamed Frank Sinatra song? Sounds like heaven. Hmm? Did I forget about who? Oh, you mean--WELL NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT HIM AGAIN. More noodles, please!

Are They Really Talking About Noodles?

I thought there wasn't a trace of Mrs. Bloom left in the apartment... but how do you explan the old-timey looking radio? I guess that's what's considered "modern" in A3G world. Or, maybe Greg is just a hipster. "Yeah, I got rid of Mrs. Bloom's flat screen and surround sound and got a black and white TV and a record player. It's really retro. That old bat was clueless." Maybe everyone in this strip is just a hipster. It explains.... well, some things. Including that one musical note that's just way too cool for school and has to be upside down. Hipster music.

Not a Trace

Gosh, Greg, the place looks completely different! In that you painted the walls white and you got rid of Prissy's cat box. You're a magician! Not a trace of Mrs. Bloom here! Maybe you can help me erase any trace of Tommie and Lu Ann from my apartment! Say, over a bottle of wine and a twist-top jar of Egg Foo Young?

What Were You Thinking?

What kind of take out comes in cans and cartons?  And where did he get that second bag?  Greg doesn't eat because he's sad, he's sad because he eats 4,000 calories of canned take out every meal. 

Sparkle and Spunk

Oh that Greg Cooper! He sure does know how to push Margo's buttons. And by "push Margo's buttons" I mean "stagger around the stairwell holding an eco-bag in the most awkward way possible." Seriously, have you ever seen a human struggle with a tote like that? He's holding it like he's pushing a stroller. Maybe he just really wants Margo to ask him about his trip to Wegman's.

Asleep at the Wheel

Oh Margo, spurned already by the suprisingly deceitful Evan.  And I'm extremely weirded out by Margo referring to him as baby.  I expect this kind of puppy dog love from Lu Ann, but not Margo.  Or maybe it's not even Margo being in love,  it's Margo being in love with Evan.  I didn't think his one finger massages would melt Margo's ice cold heart. What happened to the guy that pushes all of Margo's buttons/AKA Margo's only remaining PR client?

That's Show Business

Thursday November 8, 2012

Friday November 9, 2012

So all this time Evan has been running a talent poaching scam for the Windwood Agency, the most prestigious agency in New York! Huh. Why didn't Skyler just go there first? I mean, how did Margo get her in the first place? How is she getting any business? Did she just hang a "PR for Sale" sign out the window and watch the big-idea-tiny-talents flock to her?

Margo is Going to Drop You

Margo is going to drop you, Skyler. She's going to drop you like a sack of hammers.

Evan's hardly even being sneaky, because Margo has so little regard for her clients that she probably would've dropped Skyler just for having Lu Ann's haircut. What is Skyler even upset about? Did she even meet Margo once? If she's going to be Candy Sweet (which, by the way, what? are Westerns finally coming back?), she can probably do better than Margo "I'm bored with the gallery, I bet I'd be a great publicist!" Magee.

How to Succeed At Business Without Really Trying

Have you seen how I've been running this business?  Clients are people that I speak of with complete and utter disdain and whom I do no ostensible public relations work for.  Did I mention that this business is a sham set up for tax purposes?  I thought I'd decorate it, hire some fake people, and show up every day because I really don't have much else to do.  Have you heard of the Mills Gallery lately?  No?  I didn't think so because I buried that place deeper than Eric Mills in a Nepalese avalanche.

Losing Her Business

Gah--Margo!!? That last kiss transformed her into some kind of old maid. I mean... that collar. What is up. Her new identity makes it all the sadder that her business is getting swindled by this handsome, plastic-y young man. She's all, "Hey whippersnapper, I'm so great at PR that the business is taking care of itself! How about some cucumber sandwiches and milk?" and he's all "Sorry, I'm busy with this manila folder, then I have to have lunch with this beautiful starlet who's not going to be our client anymore. And when I say our, I mean your."

Hyperextension

The magic is starting to fade Evan, this kiss didn't even bathe you in a warm glow.  On the plus side, you're probably going to have give Margo another massage for the uncomfortable hyperextended position that her neck is in.  Warm up your massage finger.